i've also tried ds1 several times but keep bouncing off of it. i haven't been able to get that feeling of "connection" with the controls, where combat and movement feel intuitive. maybe someday tho

this pain has been more intense overall, i think, but it's both easier to manage logistically and a less disorienting kind of pain. it basically feels like i got punched really, really hard in the stomach. obviously not fun, but it lacks the knee-jerk AGH THERE'S SOMETHING STUCK IN ME GET IT OUT

plus it was in my ass so i really couldn't stop thinking about it at any point. had to make sure i didn't hurt the port site when i sat, had to make sure the tube was hanging right so it could drain, etc.

i'm still banned from lifting things and i'm developing what might be a seroma, which is painful, but this recovery is a million times easier than dealing with the drainage tube. the tube had me worrying about tugging it out of place all the time and it felt so /weird/, even after the pain lessened

my procedure was scheduled as an exploratory lap with possible appendectomy because they couldn't visualize it on my last ct scan and weren't sure if there was anything left to remove, which is so wild LMAO. "yeah it might have blowed up 😇"

that makes it a lot sadder to me.

and didn't consider the real world implications of certain fantasy things she included. it speaks to a very common, banal kind of ignorance and privilege rather than deep-seated bigotry, things that in a happier world she would have learned from and grown beyond, as many do.

i hate jk's lunatic transphobic turn as much as the next person but i think this is overselling the contents of the books. they've got the kind of material you would expect from a white author of her generation who doesn't seem to have done any unpacking of the ambient prejudices of her society

yeah, it's going well so far. i got lucky that i didn't go septic or get peritonitis, because both of those could have literally killed me. the abscess is probably what saved my life which is kind of insane. kept all of the goo in one place

today is my first day back to work and it literally had me on indeed looking for bullshit remote jobs that wouldn't have me responsible for the care of small vulnerable people. let me slack. pay me for nonsense.