Literally the pic in the OP with him splooting on the floor is the night after the fire, after we got into a house my landlord had available a couple streets away, just no fucks given that everything around him changed. It was really a bright spot in all that chaos

He really enjoyed all the head pats from the firemen too. He just thought we were chilling outside with a bunch of randos

Well Rudy is just splooting on the bed watching me like "huh, whatcha doin" but he's a dog so you know he had to have smelled the burning long before I did. Thankfully he was easy to wrangle as a result, just carried him under my arm like a football. He was a great shoulder to cry on that day, tho

I must reiterate just how unphazed he was by the house fire. Literally smoke filling up my kitchen because the adjacent room in my neighbor's unit was full of flames pouring out windows and shit, it was *bad* and I'm trying not to outwardly freak out and gather all the cats into carriers, and Rudy -

I give him an F- as a guard/watchdog but he gets an A+++ for being an absolute baby and friend

He wasn't much of a barker and didn't startle easy. He was either totally obvious or simply did not give a fuck, it was really hard to tell which lmao which was unfortunate at times because he did not react at all when our home was on fire two years ago!! Or when my moped was stolen last year

I already miss him so much

He was so old and had been thru so much before I even met him but I hope I made his last years enjoyable

He was almost like normal after eating those chicken strips, but I knew his time was coming so I booked an appointment at the vet. But he couldn't wait that long and he passed away in my arms today. I'm glad he got to digest his chicken and sleep with a full belly surrounded by loved ones

Over time he seemed to perk up but every time he tried to walk his legs got unsteady and would buckle under him. I tried to keep him on the bed or in my lap and I brought him his food and water. He didn't want his kibble so i got him some of his favorite chicken strips from Indi's

To spare the sad details, he either suffered a stroke or other cardiac event. I pulled him into my lap and wrapped him in a towel (because he peed himself during this episode) and held him for 3 hours during which he barely moved, just his head to look at whatever I was doing (or to steal pork rind)

I was told he could have 6 months to a year left and what we could do was keep him comfortable. I gave him heart meds 3x a day for 3 years and he had his ups and downs but overall the going was strong and without incident, until the other night

About a year after taking him in (because I had always wanted an elderly black Pomeranian since I saw one in the shelter many years ago) he collapsed and his cough got worse. After a $1500 emergency vet overnight stay, we found out he had congestive heart failure.

I guess it also doesn't help that we're 2 days from the anniversary of my house catching fire cause one of the other tenants in the building left his space heater on while he was at work. It's hard to have anxiety about preventing something you can't prevent

Also I just cooked eggs on the stove and my nose being hypersensitive to burning smells doesn't help, but I was so hungry and have nothing else to eat right now

It's been storming over here for a few hours and so I've got the combo Weather Anxiety and Fire Anxiety cause What If a tornado happens but also What If my neighbor's house is on fire