Alan Smith
@mralanjohnsmith.bsky.social
[Something vaguely political but non-committal]
[Own views disclaimer]
He/him
[Own views disclaimer]
He/him
Just putting this image out there, because it is probably useful
November 7, 2025 at 3:04 PM
Just putting this image out there, because it is probably useful
What if this was just a flattering portrait of Vlad Dracula and he actually looked more like his dad (who apparently looked like a toy wooden soldier)?
November 1, 2025 at 12:03 PM
What if this was just a flattering portrait of Vlad Dracula and he actually looked more like his dad (who apparently looked like a toy wooden soldier)?
Before pavements were council-provided free car parking, they used to be for people to walk on and push prams on. (I am old and grumpy.)
October 20, 2025 at 8:39 PM
Before pavements were council-provided free car parking, they used to be for people to walk on and push prams on. (I am old and grumpy.)
What happened to the owl‽
October 20, 2025 at 7:42 PM
What happened to the owl‽
I have two work laptops
(closed ecosystems from two employers), both HP. This is where the delete key is on each one.
(closed ecosystems from two employers), both HP. This is where the delete key is on each one.
September 24, 2025 at 12:04 PM
I have two work laptops
(closed ecosystems from two employers), both HP. This is where the delete key is on each one.
(closed ecosystems from two employers), both HP. This is where the delete key is on each one.
There must have been a terrible rainstorm up near Beamsley earlier, on this barmy summer's day. Because otherwise why would the storm overflow have let sewage in the beck?
August 25, 2025 at 11:33 AM
There must have been a terrible rainstorm up near Beamsley earlier, on this barmy summer's day. Because otherwise why would the storm overflow have let sewage in the beck?
Out to walk the dog and vote for industrial action
August 11, 2025 at 9:29 PM
Out to walk the dog and vote for industrial action
I've been off work on leave for 6 days. A spider has spun a metaphor under my desk.
August 8, 2025 at 6:22 PM
I've been off work on leave for 6 days. A spider has spun a metaphor under my desk.
I'm not sure those things go slow enough for me to do anything about it. (But it's fine, it's quite windy, and one thing I've learned from the FlightRadar app is the RAF only seems to practice in good weather. (I hope that doesn't become a problem in a war.) (I hope that's not a national secret.)
August 4, 2025 at 2:17 PM
I'm not sure those things go slow enough for me to do anything about it. (But it's fine, it's quite windy, and one thing I've learned from the FlightRadar app is the RAF only seems to practice in good weather. (I hope that doesn't become a problem in a war.) (I hope that's not a national secret.)
Occasionally my family mock me for my fear of bulls. I present this exhibit of a scary tonne of muscle.
August 4, 2025 at 9:18 AM
Occasionally my family mock me for my fear of bulls. I present this exhibit of a scary tonne of muscle.
I've an awful feeling we'll find out that it doesn't apply to traditional English broadswords
August 2, 2025 at 4:20 PM
I've an awful feeling we'll find out that it doesn't apply to traditional English broadswords
A swallow feeding its chicks. In a railway station waiting room with the door propped open.
August 1, 2025 at 4:33 PM
A swallow feeding its chicks. In a railway station waiting room with the door propped open.
Yorkshire Day is a 50 year old commemoration of the dissolution of Yorkshire. The county is dead; long live the North!
(Am I doing that right?)
(Am I doing that right?)
August 1, 2025 at 8:23 AM
Yorkshire Day is a 50 year old commemoration of the dissolution of Yorkshire. The county is dead; long live the North!
(Am I doing that right?)
(Am I doing that right?)
Took son to see Derren Brown's new show. (Tickets were a Christmas present).
Many times thought: “Wow, that's amazing!”
Only to think it through a little bit more and think: ”No, that seems impossible!”
The more I think about it the more incredible each thing seems. (And all done with kindness.)
Many times thought: “Wow, that's amazing!”
Only to think it through a little bit more and think: ”No, that seems impossible!”
The more I think about it the more incredible each thing seems. (And all done with kindness.)
July 24, 2025 at 10:33 PM
Took son to see Derren Brown's new show. (Tickets were a Christmas present).
Many times thought: “Wow, that's amazing!”
Only to think it through a little bit more and think: ”No, that seems impossible!”
The more I think about it the more incredible each thing seems. (And all done with kindness.)
Many times thought: “Wow, that's amazing!”
Only to think it through a little bit more and think: ”No, that seems impossible!”
The more I think about it the more incredible each thing seems. (And all done with kindness.)
I quite liked the new Superman film. In amongst the superhero silliness, it's like the 1978 film - about being brought up to try to be good and helpful, and how those values are still right in the modern world. Away with your cool, morally ambiguous superheroes!
July 22, 2025 at 9:27 PM
I quite liked the new Superman film. In amongst the superhero silliness, it's like the 1978 film - about being brought up to try to be good and helpful, and how those values are still right in the modern world. Away with your cool, morally ambiguous superheroes!
“No-one likes a joke more than me, but ...”
www.mirror.co.uk/news/politic...
www.mirror.co.uk/news/politic...
July 10, 2025 at 3:34 PM
“No-one likes a joke more than me, but ...”
www.mirror.co.uk/news/politic...
www.mirror.co.uk/news/politic...
July 10, 2025 at 6:30 AM
I love the July print on my @footprintcoop.bsky.social calendar. Incredible use of colour layers on the risograph! It makes me smile every time I see it.
July 4, 2025 at 12:14 PM
I love the July print on my @footprintcoop.bsky.social calendar. Incredible use of colour layers on the risograph! It makes me smile every time I see it.
On the anniversary of Franz Kafka's birth and death, we should take a moment to appreciate the enormity of his hair
July 3, 2025 at 9:57 PM
On the anniversary of Franz Kafka's birth and death, we should take a moment to appreciate the enormity of his hair
I feel like this statement says a lot about the party under Keir Starmer's leadership. (And not in a good way.)
www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...
www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...
July 3, 2025 at 9:02 PM
I feel like this statement says a lot about the party under Keir Starmer's leadership. (And not in a good way.)
www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...
www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...
I hear Donald Trump finally bottled that cologne
www.yahoo.com/news/ex-gop-...
www.yahoo.com/news/ex-gop-...
July 2, 2025 at 11:17 PM
I hear Donald Trump finally bottled that cologne
www.yahoo.com/news/ex-gop-...
www.yahoo.com/news/ex-gop-...
Who do I petition to get beer served in mochaware ceramic pint mugs again? I have just discovered this was a thing in Victorian times into the early 20th century and I think it should come back!
(Image from www.marckitchensmith.com/product-page...)
(Image from www.marckitchensmith.com/product-page...)
June 30, 2025 at 7:22 PM
Who do I petition to get beer served in mochaware ceramic pint mugs again? I have just discovered this was a thing in Victorian times into the early 20th century and I think it should come back!
(Image from www.marckitchensmith.com/product-page...)
(Image from www.marckitchensmith.com/product-page...)
Why can't the USA's federal government afford uniforms for its immigration and customs enforcement officers? They could probably get a good bulk discount, they wouldn't have to wear their own clothes to work, and it would be easier to see who they are.
loravelle.com/products/men...
loravelle.com/products/men...
June 21, 2025 at 8:49 AM
Why can't the USA's federal government afford uniforms for its immigration and customs enforcement officers? They could probably get a good bulk discount, they wouldn't have to wear their own clothes to work, and it would be easier to see who they are.
loravelle.com/products/men...
loravelle.com/products/men...
Sudden uptick in searches for Posse Comitatus Act in the USA
June 10, 2025 at 10:32 PM
Sudden uptick in searches for Posse Comitatus Act in the USA
Really not sure IKEA's warehouse branding is a good look. Maybe stick to the main brand colours for the vertical banners, to make it less, well, Nazi?
May 30, 2025 at 11:22 PM
Really not sure IKEA's warehouse branding is a good look. Maybe stick to the main brand colours for the vertical banners, to make it less, well, Nazi?