Musk's Executive Assistant
@mr-masks-ea.bsky.social
Executive Assistant to Mr. Elon Musk
X headquarters, Earth
X headquarters, Earth
Pinned
Working all night on the rebranding of the Department Of Governmental Efficiency as the new National Agency for Zefficiency Integration.
Does anybody know what "Zefficiency" means?
Does anybody know what "Zefficiency" means?
Mr. Mask just named his three new children:
www.nytimes.com/2025/05/30/o...
www.nytimes.com/2025/05/30/o...
Opinion | Elon Musk’s Legacy Is Disease, Starvation and Death
www.nytimes.com
May 31, 2025 at 3:39 PM
Mr. Mask just named his three new children:
www.nytimes.com/2025/05/30/o...
www.nytimes.com/2025/05/30/o...
5 accomplishments I achieved last week:
1. Sent 💩 to 37 journalists
2. Invented the xillion, a number to be used by DOGE's ̶P̶R̶ ̶d̶e̶p̶a̶r̶t̶m̶e̶n̶t̶ accountants
3. Advised Mr Musk regarding his new Charlie Chaplin moustache
4. Collected the weekly CyberTruck™ debris
5. Fixed the printer
1. Sent 💩 to 37 journalists
2. Invented the xillion, a number to be used by DOGE's ̶P̶R̶ ̶d̶e̶p̶a̶r̶t̶m̶e̶n̶t̶ accountants
3. Advised Mr Musk regarding his new Charlie Chaplin moustache
4. Collected the weekly CyberTruck™ debris
5. Fixed the printer
February 24, 2025 at 11:02 PM
5 accomplishments I achieved last week:
1. Sent 💩 to 37 journalists
2. Invented the xillion, a number to be used by DOGE's ̶P̶R̶ ̶d̶e̶p̶a̶r̶t̶m̶e̶n̶t̶ accountants
3. Advised Mr Musk regarding his new Charlie Chaplin moustache
4. Collected the weekly CyberTruck™ debris
5. Fixed the printer
1. Sent 💩 to 37 journalists
2. Invented the xillion, a number to be used by DOGE's ̶P̶R̶ ̶d̶e̶p̶a̶r̶t̶m̶e̶n̶t̶ accountants
3. Advised Mr Musk regarding his new Charlie Chaplin moustache
4. Collected the weekly CyberTruck™ debris
5. Fixed the printer
Mr. Musk takes over the FAA, so planes would stop crashing.
Rapid unscheduled disassemblies, however, are expected to double
Rapid unscheduled disassemblies, however, are expected to double
February 19, 2025 at 11:17 AM
Mr. Musk takes over the FAA, so planes would stop crashing.
Rapid unscheduled disassemblies, however, are expected to double
Rapid unscheduled disassemblies, however, are expected to double
It's a boy! Please congratulate Mr. Musk for the birth of his youngest son! Well, his youngest until tomorrow
February 12, 2025 at 8:53 PM
It's a boy! Please congratulate Mr. Musk for the birth of his youngest son! Well, his youngest until tomorrow
The cafeteria ran out of CompoundX™ to add to the water. Some employees started seeing colors again. The head chef has been sent to The Basement
February 11, 2025 at 9:22 PM
The cafeteria ran out of CompoundX™ to add to the water. Some employees started seeing colors again. The head chef has been sent to The Basement
Mr. Musk came up with a new plan to train new employees to take over the federal buildings. It's called Musk's Youth. He already made a uniform for them
February 7, 2025 at 9:51 PM
Mr. Musk came up with a new plan to train new employees to take over the federal buildings. It's called Musk's Youth. He already made a uniform for them
Mr. Musk told us that if someone with more than 100 billion dollars does it, you can't call it a coup, it's a buyout
February 6, 2025 at 7:58 PM
Mr. Musk told us that if someone with more than 100 billion dollars does it, you can't call it a coup, it's a buyout
I had to tell Mr. Musk that unfortunately he can't name his new death laser thingy the way he wanted, because the X-ray already exists
February 5, 2025 at 9:20 PM
I had to tell Mr. Musk that unfortunately he can't name his new death laser thingy the way he wanted, because the X-ray already exists
Due to many complaints about unidentified young men taking control of federal buildings, Mr. Musk ordered all DOGE employees to wear a red arm band with an X on a white background.
Now they can be identified
Now they can be identified
February 4, 2025 at 3:15 PM
Due to many complaints about unidentified young men taking control of federal buildings, Mr. Musk ordered all DOGE employees to wear a red arm band with an X on a white background.
Now they can be identified
Now they can be identified
Mr. Musk had a meeting with Tesla's chief data scientist today. Apparently, the Autopilot algorithm doesn't reach the right conclusion when it has to choose between hitting a White man or a class of Black kindergartners. Or just trying to avoid hitting minorities in general
February 3, 2025 at 3:21 PM
Mr. Musk had a meeting with Tesla's chief data scientist today. Apparently, the Autopilot algorithm doesn't reach the right conclusion when it has to choose between hitting a White man or a class of Black kindergartners. Or just trying to avoid hitting minorities in general
He's making a list (of federal employees),
He's checking it twice (marking some of the names with a pink triangle, some with a yellow star),
Mr. Musk is coming to town
He's checking it twice (marking some of the names with a pink triangle, some with a yellow star),
Mr. Musk is coming to town
February 2, 2025 at 5:37 PM
He's making a list (of federal employees),
He's checking it twice (marking some of the names with a pink triangle, some with a yellow star),
Mr. Musk is coming to town
He's checking it twice (marking some of the names with a pink triangle, some with a yellow star),
Mr. Musk is coming to town
A simple search-and-replace mistake caused a press release to mention our new campus in "Lagos, DEIia"
February 1, 2025 at 1:53 PM
A simple search-and-replace mistake caused a press release to mention our new campus in "Lagos, DEIia"
Mr Musk wants to make it perfectly clear that the data itself was moved to a safe location and will be accessible only by authorized personnel, or anyone joining GovernmentX™ for $8 a month
New - Elon Musk aides lock government workers out of computer systems at US agency, sources say www.reuters.com/world/us/mus...
Exclusive: Musk aides lock government workers out of computer systems at US agency, sources say
Aides to Elon Musk charged with running the U.S. government human resources agency have locked career civil servants out of computer systems that contain the personal data of millions of federal employees, according to two agency officials.
www.reuters.com
January 31, 2025 at 9:40 PM
Mr Musk wants to make it perfectly clear that the data itself was moved to a safe location and will be accessible only by authorized personnel, or anyone joining GovernmentX™ for $8 a month
Working all night on the rebranding of the Department Of Governmental Efficiency as the new National Agency for Zefficiency Integration.
Does anybody know what "Zefficiency" means?
Does anybody know what "Zefficiency" means?
January 31, 2025 at 7:08 PM
Working all night on the rebranding of the Department Of Governmental Efficiency as the new National Agency for Zefficiency Integration.
Does anybody know what "Zefficiency" means?
Does anybody know what "Zefficiency" means?
Mr Musk just told us a very funny joke and we all laughed voluntarily and wholeheartedly. I mean, I think it's a joke. I'm almost certain it's a joke. Oh dear god, I hope it's a joke. Somebody should alert the Belgians
January 31, 2025 at 7:08 PM
Mr Musk just told us a very funny joke and we all laughed voluntarily and wholeheartedly. I mean, I think it's a joke. I'm almost certain it's a joke. Oh dear god, I hope it's a joke. Somebody should alert the Belgians
Oh no, oh no, oh no! The dry cleaners lost Mr. Musk's laundry! Does anybody know where I can find a white cone-shaped pillow case? I can cut the eye holes myself
January 31, 2025 at 7:06 PM
Oh no, oh no, oh no! The dry cleaners lost Mr. Musk's laundry! Does anybody know where I can find a white cone-shaped pillow case? I can cut the eye holes myself
I signed an NDA, so all I can say is that many of the Cybertrucks™ in Wisconsin definitely 𝘥𝘪𝘥 𝘯𝘰𝘵 explode yesterday
January 31, 2025 at 7:04 PM
I signed an NDA, so all I can say is that many of the Cybertrucks™ in Wisconsin definitely 𝘥𝘪𝘥 𝘯𝘰𝘵 explode yesterday
Mr. Musk just told me I'm going to be the first executive assistant on Mars! I mean, he said a 𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘪𝘰𝘯 of me will live on Mars. While he took another vial of my blood. I'm sure it's going to be fine
January 31, 2025 at 7:00 PM
Mr. Musk just told me I'm going to be the first executive assistant on Mars! I mean, he said a 𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘪𝘰𝘯 of me will live on Mars. While he took another vial of my blood. I'm sure it's going to be fine
Mr. Musk named all the meeting rooms "X". It took me 3.5 hours to find the right one
January 31, 2025 at 6:58 PM
Mr. Musk named all the meeting rooms "X". It took me 3.5 hours to find the right one