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mpeyton.uk
Mystery Biscuits
@mpeyton.uk
180 followers 1.2K following 67 posts
Don't blame me - I voted for Kodos. Replies, reposts & likes etc not necessarily endorsements. He/they.
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mpeyton.uk
Oh no. Oh no. Oh no no no no no.
A smartwatch screen displaying a BBC Sport notification. The headline reads "Ryder Cup anal..." with the preview text: "Friday's opening foursomes should be most accurate...". A "CLEAR ALL" button is visible at the top of the screen. The watch is on a person's wrist.
September 22, 2025 at 8:37 AM
mpeyton.uk
Completed my first aid at work training!
'First Aid Essentials' - a candidate manual for First Aid at Work training, published by the Royal Life Saving Society.
June 11, 2025 at 2:26 PM
mpeyton.uk
A screenshot from a post on Threads by @relthesinger: "You wouldn't want the Epstein Files to be released if there were a bunch of Democrats on there too!" Yes, the fuck I would. Drop the list, I'm getting my reading glasses.
June 7, 2025 at 4:24 PM
mpeyton.uk
Ditch the AI then we'll talk......
A Duolingo notification email with the message "You made Duo sad" and a crying emoji at the top. The email shows an image of the Duolingo mascot, Duo the owl, lying face down in front of a calendar showing the number 30. Below the image, the text reads: "But you’ve been gone for 30 days. Today is the day you come back, right?"
May 22, 2025 at 10:14 AM
mpeyton.uk
Let's be honest, the BBC knew exactly what they were writing here :-D #Eurovision
Another contestant doubling his entendres is Australia's Go-Jo, who wants us to "take a sip" of milkshake from his "special cup". Interpret that how you want but I'd be wary of hitching a lift in his ice cream van, if I were you. With a smattering of Electric Six's saucy disco funk, Milkshake Man is tasty enough to get Australia back in the finals after only achieving a semi last year.
May 10, 2025 at 8:35 AM
mpeyton.uk
Does the BBC know something we don't?
A female news reporter is speaking on camera in front of Buckingham Palace. She is wearing a light blue coat and a white scarf. The scene includes decorative fencing and blooming yellow flowers. On-screen closed captions mistakenly read, "World War III veterans as the country gives thanks," implying an error.
May 5, 2025 at 7:35 AM
mpeyton.uk
From the 10th episode of Season 21 of the Simpsons, entitled "Once Upon a Time in Springfield". Ralph Wiggum is sat at a desk inside his classroom at Springfield Elementary School, dressed as Princess Leia, and says "I'm a Star Wars".
May 4, 2025 at 6:54 AM
mpeyton.uk
You just won the game. It's okay! You're free!
April 29, 2025 at 6:36 PM
mpeyton.uk
Ed Balls
Screenshot of a tweet by Ed Balls (@edballs) posted on April 28, 2011, at 4:20 PM. The tweet simply says 'Ed Balls'. It shows engagement statistics: 108.5K retweets, 10.9K quote tweets, and 111.7K likes.
April 28, 2025 at 5:53 AM
mpeyton.uk
The image shows a scene that appears to be from the movie "Miss Congeniality," featuring Cheryl 'Rhode Island'. The image is split into two panels. The top panel depicts a man in a red jacket speaking into a microphone, with a woman wearing a sash that reads "RHODE ISLAND" standing next to him. Other women in similar sashes are visible in the background. The text "Describe your perfect date" is superimposed on the image. The bottom panel shows a closer view of the man and the woman with the "RHODE ISLAND" sash, both holding microphones. The text below reads, "That's a tough one. I'd have to say April 25th. Because it's not too hot and not too cold. All you need is a light jacket."
April 25, 2025 at 5:30 PM
mpeyton.uk
*giggle*
The image shows a group of road signs, some of which have been altered or defaced humorously. The top sign reads "WOT A FART" in block letters. Below it is a red-bordered circular speed limit sign that appears to have been vandalized to read "peed tim 10 m, h" instead of something like "Speed Limit 10 mph." There is also a blue circular directional sign with a white arrow pointing right. The setting appears to be a rural or grassy area, and the image has a "Google" watermark at the bottom, indicating it is from Google Street View.
April 25, 2025 at 11:41 AM
mpeyton.uk
A close-up image of a package of Armor All wipes partially visible in a car's storage compartment. Due to the way the package is folded and obscured, the text appears to read "ASS WIPES," creating an amusing misinterpretation. The packaging is primarily black and orange, with some blue and white elements from another package of wipes nearby. The surrounding area includes a black leather or faux-leather surface with stitching and some crumpled tissues.
March 28, 2025 at 5:07 PM
mpeyton.uk
Without downloading new pictures, where are you mentally?
A screenshot from The Fairly OddParents episode "Spaced Out" features Cosmo and Wanda in their goldfish forms. Cosmo excitedly holds a large silver nickel with the number "5" engraved on it, representing Phillip the Nickel, while Wanda looks unimpressed. Both have small golden crowns and are surrounded by underwater bubbles.
March 24, 2025 at 6:43 PM
mpeyton.uk
What?
A screenshot of a word puzzle game, likely the New York Times Spelling Bee. The game board consists of seven hexagonal tiles with letters: "O" (center, highlighted in yellow), and surrounding letters "L," "A," "R," "T," "I," and "V." The player attempted to submit the word "ROTA," but a message at the top indicates it is "Not in word list." Below the board, there are "Delete" and "Enter" buttons, along with a refresh button in the center. The interface has a dark background with white and yellow text.
March 15, 2025 at 7:30 AM
mpeyton.uk
Stephen Colbert, wearing a dark suit and glasses, holds up a black circular paddle with white text that reads 'TRY DOING SOMETHING.' The scene appears to be from his late-night show, with a nighttime cityscape visible through large windows in the background. The gesture mirrors the actions of Democrats who held up similar paddles during a recent speech by Donald Trump in Congress.
March 6, 2025 at 9:18 AM
mpeyton.uk
Hello!
A person is holding a program for The Book of Mormon musical inside a theater. The program cover features the show's signature design, depicting a missionary in a white shirt and black tie, jumping with a book in hand. The stage in the background is illuminated with a blue and pink sky-themed backdrop, framed by ornate, glowing architectural details. The perspective suggests the person is seated in the audience, waiting for the show to begin.
February 25, 2025 at 7:06 PM
mpeyton.uk
Image description: A meme featuring a photo of Joe Biden and Barack Obama. Joe Biden is shown with his fists up, as if playfully making a boxing gesture, while Barack Obama stands beside him, smiling slightly. The text overlay reads: Joe: I'm going to ask Donald if he wants something to eat Barack: That's nice, Joe Joe: And then I'm going to offer him knuckle sandwiches The meme humorously portrays a fictional conversation between Joe Biden and Barack Obama, with Biden jokingly suggesting he wants to "offer" Donald Trump a punch, referred to as "knuckle sandwiches."
November 15, 2024 at 7:24 PM