Jason Waterfalls
@mosiahisnotgod.bsky.social
CA | stare at the crash, it actually works
They’re always on the path of making life more difficult, which isn’t surprising considering that it’s the party of jaguars biting faces off (but also being disturbed and surprised when they bite THEIR faces off)
January 7, 2025 at 10:30 PM
They’re always on the path of making life more difficult, which isn’t surprising considering that it’s the party of jaguars biting faces off (but also being disturbed and surprised when they bite THEIR faces off)
When my phlebotomist takes my vitals and he’s like “you have high blood pressure” and I’m like yeah I have anxiety, and he’s like have you considered concentrating on deep breaths? And I’m like well the whole point of anxiety is that you can’t stop thinking about taking deep breaths
January 6, 2025 at 8:47 PM
When my phlebotomist takes my vitals and he’s like “you have high blood pressure” and I’m like yeah I have anxiety, and he’s like have you considered concentrating on deep breaths? And I’m like well the whole point of anxiety is that you can’t stop thinking about taking deep breaths
They’re the last generation that’s gonna have social security, so they’re milking it for all it’s worth
December 13, 2024 at 3:26 AM
They’re the last generation that’s gonna have social security, so they’re milking it for all it’s worth
And it’s just a quick little jingle, they have to play the whole extended version of good long winceslas just in case you weren’t standing right in front of it
December 13, 2024 at 1:59 AM
And it’s just a quick little jingle, they have to play the whole extended version of good long winceslas just in case you weren’t standing right in front of it
Where The Red Fern Grows (bonus points cause it’s 2 and they loved eachother) &, Balto (bonus points cause it’s a classic) & Old Yeller (bonus points cause he got sick & died tragically), & Lady and the tramp (bonus points cause they were in love), & 101 Dalmatians (bonus points cause so many dogs)
December 11, 2024 at 10:48 AM
Where The Red Fern Grows (bonus points cause it’s 2 and they loved eachother) &, Balto (bonus points cause it’s a classic) & Old Yeller (bonus points cause he got sick & died tragically), & Lady and the tramp (bonus points cause they were in love), & 101 Dalmatians (bonus points cause so many dogs)
Not every store that sells bagels has to be a bodega
December 10, 2024 at 6:54 PM
Not every store that sells bagels has to be a bodega
Strangely enough I’m lactose intolerant but cheese doesn’t screw me up, it’s those giant glasses of chocolate milk that wreck my gut biome. Who knew
December 10, 2024 at 6:29 PM
Strangely enough I’m lactose intolerant but cheese doesn’t screw me up, it’s those giant glasses of chocolate milk that wreck my gut biome. Who knew
That’s just how people be
December 9, 2024 at 9:27 PM
That’s just how people be
Mom it’s actually not real like it didn’t happen
December 8, 2024 at 3:44 AM
Mom it’s actually not real like it didn’t happen
I actually say that “I know this isn’t the first time you’ve failed to solve a problem” and then they give a $100 off coupon cause they still don’t wanna fix it
December 5, 2024 at 8:10 AM
I actually say that “I know this isn’t the first time you’ve failed to solve a problem” and then they give a $100 off coupon cause they still don’t wanna fix it
To add to that, my blinds are f*kd cause it was getting chased by a raptor, like a bird of prey like an owl or a falcon or something. And I’ve watched it climb to roofs so it’s probably the same cat like “FINALLY”
December 3, 2024 at 1:54 PM
To add to that, my blinds are f*kd cause it was getting chased by a raptor, like a bird of prey like an owl or a falcon or something. And I’ve watched it climb to roofs so it’s probably the same cat like “FINALLY”
It might be, but it got a bath so it’s not covered in dirt anymore… maybe that’s because of the bath I gave it two years ago
December 3, 2024 at 1:52 PM
It might be, but it got a bath so it’s not covered in dirt anymore… maybe that’s because of the bath I gave it two years ago
Went on a date with a guy who was a teacher, and it became glaringly apparent that I was more educated than him after multiple times of him being like “what’s a scientific name” and “what’s the Pythagorean theorem”. I’m like dude you’re the educator here
November 29, 2024 at 3:33 AM
Went on a date with a guy who was a teacher, and it became glaringly apparent that I was more educated than him after multiple times of him being like “what’s a scientific name” and “what’s the Pythagorean theorem”. I’m like dude you’re the educator here
It’s the homosexuality
November 28, 2024 at 6:22 AM
It’s the homosexuality
Anxiety is discouraging many of us
November 28, 2024 at 6:19 AM
Anxiety is discouraging many of us
The dichotomy
November 25, 2024 at 4:47 PM
The dichotomy
Sandra bullock is listening
November 24, 2024 at 10:09 AM
Sandra bullock is listening
Me when I get 3
November 24, 2024 at 9:03 AM
Me when I get 3
Fr he tried to take me on a picnic next to a lake with swans and shower me with apologies I was like dude you really are wasting both of our time. And stop spending my money on charcuterie and league of legends skins cause I need that to take my ass home.
November 23, 2024 at 4:34 AM
Fr he tried to take me on a picnic next to a lake with swans and shower me with apologies I was like dude you really are wasting both of our time. And stop spending my money on charcuterie and league of legends skins cause I need that to take my ass home.
And now here we are!
November 23, 2024 at 4:18 AM
And now here we are!