Okay but hear me out, what if you thought the success of the movie would ultimately determine if we could make Avatar Planet real or not, and then we could fly around or whatever with the blue folk

“Potentially” 🤯

Literally saying it’s cool for soldiers to rely on “I was just following orders”

Experts say that my efforts to claim that I am Napoleon Bonaparte are misleading

If you include all the titles I want to see that are on Kanopy but not MY library’s Kanopy, I will repeatedly kiss my phone screen

Cool, so reporters can call him piggy?

Folks, we may have to allow him to believe he’s invented universal healthcare. And possibly call it Trumpcare. 😬

Uh… then what is the thing on the brain scan that they thought was a worm? 😬

Can’t see the new name without thinking “Okay Ms. Now, go off!”

AND MANY OF THOSE HOUSES HAD INNOCENT UNTOUCHED COUCHES IN THEM 😨😨😨

Does it turn out that Yotei was alive the whole time

At first I was worried he was doing a Movember Moustache and all the people mocking him would feel bad, but upon further reflection a thing like that would bring more attention to the cause, so ethically speaking we kind of HAVE to mock him

Fixed it for you:

I will not support the Republican bill that’s on the Senate floor because it fails to do anything of substance to fix America’s healthcare crisis. 😉

When Daddy finally comes back home he’s going to take us to the circus, and then buy us an Xbox! For real this time!