Help me understand then. What point am I missing and what do I not know with respect to this?

Your responses indicate to me that someone can spur violence against the marginalized and their families, but if that individual inciting violence gets their own medicine it's bad if they have a family.

That's the issue. You think these are opinions for debate. You're actively defending a white supremacist. You don't see someone saying racist and violent rhetoric as wrong. To you, the lives of LGBTQ, women, and marginalized people are nothing more than pizza toppings.

Your response tells me you live a priveleged life.

If you ever find yourself declared to be subhuman and someone is beating you to death I want you to remember this. If someone comes and kills your aggressor and saves you, the only thing you should tell your savior is that they're a vile person.

Now, if a man spent his entire life telling millions of people those same things, encouraging his followers to do those things, and someone shot him for it would you feel bad for that man?

Everything I said is what he advocated for, and you think the victims of his rhetoric are vile?

Now, imagine your child was killed in a school shooting and the man says that your child's death is necessary for him to own his gun and your parther killed him for it, would you feel bad for the man?

Now, imagine the man spent his entire life telling you, your family, and your friends that your child shouldn't have civil rights because of their skin color and your partner shot him for it would you feel bad for the man?

Now, imagine that the man spent his life telling you, your family, and your friends that if he did rape your daughter she should be forced to have his child, no exceptions, and your partner shot him for it. Would you feel bad for the man?

Now, imagine that the man spent his life telling you, your family, and your friends that he should be allowed to touch your child and your partner shot him, would you feel bad for that man?

An exercise for you.
It's safe to say everyone views sexually abusing minors is always wrong, no exceptions.

Do you think touching kids is wrong? The answer I hope you give is a yes that it's wrong. Now, imagine a man touched your child and your partner shot them for it. Would you feel bad?

The only good quality you can say about him is he had a family.

You're a liability to any and all LGBTQ and marginalized individuals that engages with you. Reevaluate your stance on violence and you defending individuals actively abducting and killing people they deem undesirable.

The man was a white supremacist engaging in stochastic terrorism. He'd want you stoned to death for engaging in porn.

The world would be better if we severely punished these people when they spew their rhetoric. They choose to be hateful and we must not tolerate it or we will be consumed.