but im hoping things settle down now after a pet health scare then a wedding then 2 weeks away from home pet sitting then back home for more pet health issues then relative hospitalized like 6 times then being sick. like. it must be over now right. surely it’s over

okay now that i think about it thats kind of funny considering that the turn on with giving birth for me ends the moment the baby’s head gets to full crown. i want nothing to do with anything that comes after that. i dont want the actual baby involved at all. if i can see face it’s over

but as soon as my hand is not in my pants those things are completely uninteresting to me and back to repulsive… make it make sense… i wish i could electrical shock my brain back to factory settings and just be into actual sex. this is too complicated

like… someone in active labor about to give birth and suddenly theyre like oh no i have to poop. i have to pee. i cant do that i have to hold it in. trying to give birth without doing that gross thing. contractions and pushing so forceful they make someone nauseous/gag/dry heave. very strange to me

and many other extreme discomforts around “gross” things (think contamination ocd style but i don’t have a diagnosis) but i… am kind of turned on by those Almost happening in a mental sexual fantasy. or if they actually happen being very mildly described. whats with that

i know i have a birth fetish like legitimately. i dont think i could get off to anything that doesnt involve that unfortunately. i’ve never been able to before. but its the additional stuff i dont understand. i have emetophobia very badly as in full actual panic attack if that happens around me irl

oh i’m sorry i was not looking to commission someone for anything specific i was just looking for other artists to follow who create this kind of content

honestly almost anything… cryptids, dragons, aliens, completely new made up creatures… i see a lot of humans and furries but not a lot beyond that

thats why every time i fantasize its always a single person for whatever reason. usually one night stand situation and the results… or like… stuck away from partner in a broken down car or snowed in cabin or smth… but yeah if its a tender couples moment im like… i cant jerk it to this. its rude

not only having a strange niche fetish but being really picky about it sucks :(