Jesus fuck... I used to read Sinfest a bit, stopped about 10 years back, it looks like the dude has always been a dickhead.

I'll always recommend the Discworld books, there's a few YA ones towards the end of the series, but all the ones I've read are worth a look. Guards, Guards! Is a good starting point.

I'm gonna be singing 'Donald's in a box, in a box...'

No. Absolutely not. If he forgot who he left behind, it'd hurt more, because he'd know he'd lost somebody but not who.
That, and he feels like letting somebody/something fiddle with your memories is asking for trouble.

The kid's just aware that the light at the end of the tunnel could be a flamethrower or an oncoming train.

Gonna upset some people but Fallout Boy. They can do one. Preferably somewhere far away from me.

I can top that, I was 34, I tripped over my own feet getting out of bed and fell through my wardrobe door, making a noise so loud my housemate, in noise-canceling headphones, ran in to make sure I was okay.

...Okay, I want to buy her a drink. I want to buy her several drinks. Because she just called it exactly how it is.

If this 19 year old dickhead who calls himself 'Big Balls' marched into my SHOP demanding free stuff I'd lock the little fuckwit in the freezer.
Jesus fuck, how did he survive the abortion...