In my head I always say “at what speed”? Probably a maths question in here somewhere.

Your wrong

Yes

My aunt was a grumpy racist, but lovely dementia came along and she forgot all the unpleasantness. Now everyone is her friend and the world is beautiful.

I do a maximum of 9 claps. If it’s enough for my child graduating from university it’s enough for anyone.

I wish he’d bang on more about murder and less about church

Or indeed a smoked processed cheese slice unwrapped, folded in two and eaten at the still open fridge.

It was a great night. Ecstatic and uplifting.

I always weigh the malteezers but smash a handful as P&P.

I had a cockroach in my nespresso machine. Made the coffee more leggy than you would want.