@mis4tunecookie.bsky.social
Pinned
Most fortune cookies would try to put a positive spin on the coming week's events.
You will be mistaken for a martial arts expert after walking through a spiderweb
December 13, 2024 at 2:32 AM
You will be mistaken for a martial arts expert after walking through a spiderweb
Against all odds, you will accidentally inhale helium three days in a row. This will be vexing for you, but hilarious for everyone else.
December 12, 2024 at 1:37 AM
Against all odds, you will accidentally inhale helium three days in a row. This will be vexing for you, but hilarious for everyone else.
If you’ve ever wondered if you could outrun an angry hedgehog, you will get a chance to find out next Tuesday afternoon.
December 10, 2024 at 10:05 PM
If you’ve ever wondered if you could outrun an angry hedgehog, you will get a chance to find out next Tuesday afternoon.
A piano will definitely not fall on you *next Thursday*.
December 10, 2024 at 12:35 AM
A piano will definitely not fall on you *next Thursday*.
Beware a groundhog named Arthur
December 8, 2024 at 8:11 PM
Beware a groundhog named Arthur
Remember last week when I said “don’t make a bagpiper angry next week”? Well, you have angered a bagpiper. Way to go.
December 7, 2024 at 7:09 PM
Remember last week when I said “don’t make a bagpiper angry next week”? Well, you have angered a bagpiper. Way to go.
Nothing will have happened to you yesterday
December 6, 2024 at 2:55 AM
Nothing will have happened to you yesterday
Some days you’re the dumpster, other days you’re the fire.
December 3, 2024 at 6:27 PM
Some days you’re the dumpster, other days you’re the fire.
You know those paddles with the ball and rubber band? Well, bad news. You’re going to be the ball, and next week will be the paddle.
December 3, 2024 at 12:48 AM
You know those paddles with the ball and rubber band? Well, bad news. You’re going to be the ball, and next week will be the paddle.
Next week you will have the chance to make a bagpiper angry. Don’t.
December 1, 2024 at 4:24 PM
Next week you will have the chance to make a bagpiper angry. Don’t.
Do you know what a group of wombats is called? Well, you will by the end of tomorrow.
November 30, 2024 at 7:07 PM
Do you know what a group of wombats is called? Well, you will by the end of tomorrow.
You will end this Sunday wet, confused, and slightly further in debt.
November 29, 2024 at 7:45 PM
You will end this Sunday wet, confused, and slightly further in debt.
Most fortune cookies would try to put a positive spin on the coming week's events.
November 28, 2024 at 4:17 PM
Most fortune cookies would try to put a positive spin on the coming week's events.
A piano will definitely not fall on you next Thursday.
November 27, 2024 at 3:27 PM
A piano will definitely not fall on you next Thursday.
You are likely to meet a tall, dark stranger next month. Of course, all things are relative, so if you’re particularly short and pale, you are even more likely to meet a tall, dark stranger next month.
November 26, 2024 at 3:39 PM
You are likely to meet a tall, dark stranger next month. Of course, all things are relative, so if you’re particularly short and pale, you are even more likely to meet a tall, dark stranger next month.
Ever wonder how many chinchillas you can carry at once? Next Monday you will have the chance to find out.
November 25, 2024 at 7:19 PM
Ever wonder how many chinchillas you can carry at once? Next Monday you will have the chance to find out.
It turns out that due to a fortuitous series of typos, your homeowner’s insurance *will* cover Act of Dog.
November 24, 2024 at 10:27 PM
It turns out that due to a fortuitous series of typos, your homeowner’s insurance *will* cover Act of Dog.
Don’t say I didn’t warn you
November 23, 2024 at 3:54 PM
Don’t say I didn’t warn you
You know the bendy part of an accordion? That’s what you will feel like next Tuesday.
November 22, 2024 at 11:43 PM
You know the bendy part of an accordion? That’s what you will feel like next Tuesday.
Avoid ocelots this week
November 22, 2024 at 2:38 PM
Avoid ocelots this week