bnuy paws upon thee!!

hell o

this would fix me, for a while

it wouldn't be *as* bad if it wasn't for the fact that doing anything aside from barely remaining awake took 3-5 times the effort or more (especially when i've already got a number of brain & body problems i'm fighting daily anyway). i don't think we're built to stay awake & productive through this

the important thing is that i *love* how it's coming along, because if i was fighting my brain problems *and* i didn't like what i was working on, it'd be truly miserable. silver linings!!

(also i'm learning A Lot about what i like/don't like about painting & also krita's specific quirks)

seriously i have work i absolutely *need* to be doing and all the while i feel like i'm wearing a suit made out of someone else's body entirely, and it's all dead weight. i feel the weirdly distant desperate panic of running in slow motion in a fast-forwarding present starting to hollow me out again

(by improved i mean: i took the simple diamond-shaped brush i was using for the quick comms and Did Things To It when i ported it over to krita and now it's even more fun to use etc)

solonsite.com Making a note, my dad chipped in and made cutting boards with the direct intention to help bring down my debt for folks who wanted one.