IT IS I, ZE BRILLIANT DETECTIVE 'ERCULE POIROT. IN EXACTLY NINE MINUTES I WILL HAVE DEDUCED THE IDENTITY OF THE BLACKMAILER AND THEIR ACCOMPLICE, SOLVED SIX ADDITIONAL MURDERS, MADE A PERFECT SOUFFLE AND FED MY MUSTACHE (who actually solves all the crimes for me, tell no one)

EVERYBODY GETS EGG

spent most of today smuggling my hognose snake, Comfortable Doug, around in a bonding bag/scarf & no one noticed. I am giddy with the arcane knowledge that I can secret reptiles about my person any time I want which probably *won't* lead to my undoing