I’m also open to talk 🩷

Until then, I will continue to fight and strive to make my voice heard, hoping that someone, somewhere, will truly listen and understand.

As I navigate through this storm of emotions, I am determined to find a way to articulate my feelings. In this manic phase, my only hope is to eventually find peace in the understanding and acceptance of my emotions.

I set hurdles in my own path, making it increasingly difficult to find peace or satisfaction. Each time I attempt to overcome these feelings, it seems another part of me undermines my efforts, leaving me trapped in a loop of frustration and disappointment.

This unchecked mania amplifies my anger, driving me to a state of heightened distress. Often, I find myself engaging in self-sabotage, as if sabotaging my own success and happiness is the only response I know to this turmoil.

I am upset, not only with the world around me but also with myself. Upset that I can't seem to break free from this cycle of negativity. Upset that no matter how much I try to express myself, it feels like shouting into the void.

In this manic state, the need to communicate and be heard is magnified. I want to scream out my feelings, make people understand my pain, and find solace in the recognition of my struggles. The frustration of being unable to convey the depth of my emotions only intensifies my agitation.

There is a constant battle within me, a struggle to reconcile the feelings of being disgusting, unloved, and useless. It's as if these emotions are tangible weights suffocating me. I feel gross, not just on the surface, but deep into my core. It's an indescribable feeling that I can't shake off.