Doctor Michael Swango
@mikethedumbass.bsky.social
Stationed at Fort Bragg waiting for decapatation
My wife got us tickets to see Friendship tonight and is now furious bc she forgot about the Met Gala lol.
May 5, 2025 at 3:22 PM
My wife got us tickets to see Friendship tonight and is now furious bc she forgot about the Met Gala lol.
Imagine being 45 and putting on a Talking Heads shirt. Lollllllll
April 22, 2025 at 12:44 PM
Imagine being 45 and putting on a Talking Heads shirt. Lollllllll
Last night one of my cats was pissing in the litterbox and she jumped out doing a spin move and kicked the wall to propel herself forward leaving a perfect cat paw piss mark on the wall and I realized my life is totally fucked and absolutely disgusting.
April 17, 2025 at 6:37 PM
Last night one of my cats was pissing in the litterbox and she jumped out doing a spin move and kicked the wall to propel herself forward leaving a perfect cat paw piss mark on the wall and I realized my life is totally fucked and absolutely disgusting.
My shoes are making an annoying sound bc a bag of Wingstop appeared outside of our apartment with no address so we left it thinking the owner would find it. Instead by the next morning a soda inside ate through the cup and created a huge sticky mess I can’t avoid even after my wife wiped it up.
April 14, 2025 at 2:09 PM
My shoes are making an annoying sound bc a bag of Wingstop appeared outside of our apartment with no address so we left it thinking the owner would find it. Instead by the next morning a soda inside ate through the cup and created a huge sticky mess I can’t avoid even after my wife wiped it up.
PLEASE HAVE SOME RESPECT AND STOP POSTING ABOUT THE WHITE LOTUS FINALE!! SOME OF US HAVE NOT SEEN IT AND DON’T INTEND TO WATCH IT BUT WHAT IF I GET SICK AND DECIDE TO BINGE THE WHOLE THING IN ONE DAY?? DID YOU EVER THINK ABOUT THAT???
April 8, 2025 at 3:40 AM
PLEASE HAVE SOME RESPECT AND STOP POSTING ABOUT THE WHITE LOTUS FINALE!! SOME OF US HAVE NOT SEEN IT AND DON’T INTEND TO WATCH IT BUT WHAT IF I GET SICK AND DECIDE TO BINGE THE WHOLE THING IN ONE DAY?? DID YOU EVER THINK ABOUT THAT???
The Guy Podcast is a gift that just keeps on giving. For only $8 a month (Hotwife Tier) you can call out one of the hosts, dunk on some nerds, and send them a video of a toilet garbage disposal system in the same day. @murderxbryan.bsky.social
March 23, 2025 at 7:29 PM
The Guy Podcast is a gift that just keeps on giving. For only $8 a month (Hotwife Tier) you can call out one of the hosts, dunk on some nerds, and send them a video of a toilet garbage disposal system in the same day. @murderxbryan.bsky.social
I would never be able to tell if I had brain fog. I would simply be too dumb to notice. I would go about my normal life having simpler, more pleasant thoughts and forgetting most things which I probably don’t want to remember anyway.
March 17, 2025 at 1:11 PM
I would never be able to tell if I had brain fog. I would simply be too dumb to notice. I would go about my normal life having simpler, more pleasant thoughts and forgetting most things which I probably don’t want to remember anyway.
@slime-golem.biz I successfully used a Cubescore run to help me fall asleep last night
March 16, 2025 at 1:19 PM
@slime-golem.biz I successfully used a Cubescore run to help me fall asleep last night
Tavi from Style Rookie on the street and Jon Gabrus on the same train car in the same day. That’s the big apple baby! Also was Aaron Dilloway play one of my favorite sets (seen so many) and watched an old 35mm print of Texas Chainsaw Massacre and ate at Superiority Burger. What a life!
March 15, 2025 at 2:44 PM
Tavi from Style Rookie on the street and Jon Gabrus on the same train car in the same day. That’s the big apple baby! Also was Aaron Dilloway play one of my favorite sets (seen so many) and watched an old 35mm print of Texas Chainsaw Massacre and ate at Superiority Burger. What a life!
One time Stephen Malkmus lied to me. He walked into a green room I was in and pretended he couldn’t talk because his throat hurt. Then he realized we were talking about buying houses in Portland and suddenly he was in the conversation speaking totally normally. True story.
March 14, 2025 at 4:11 PM
One time Stephen Malkmus lied to me. He walked into a green room I was in and pretended he couldn’t talk because his throat hurt. Then he realized we were talking about buying houses in Portland and suddenly he was in the conversation speaking totally normally. True story.
LISTEN TO MY FUCKING GOD DAMN RADIO SHOW IT ROCKS CALL IN TOO!! LIVE THURSDAYS AT 5PM EST.
KPISS.FM
516-515-0664
KPISS.FM
516-515-0664
March 13, 2025 at 4:56 PM
LISTEN TO MY FUCKING GOD DAMN RADIO SHOW IT ROCKS CALL IN TOO!! LIVE THURSDAYS AT 5PM EST.
KPISS.FM
516-515-0664
KPISS.FM
516-515-0664
Oh god no I have accidentally invented a Fart Bong. When you fart the fart gets filtered through water and sent directly into your mouth. This is terrible.
February 19, 2025 at 6:39 PM
Oh god no I have accidentally invented a Fart Bong. When you fart the fart gets filtered through water and sent directly into your mouth. This is terrible.
All hail Mr Baio the ultimate master of Instegram
February 15, 2025 at 6:46 PM
All hail Mr Baio the ultimate master of Instegram
When I turned 56 I said “Never again!” and somehow the next year I turned 56 again
February 15, 2025 at 5:34 PM
When I turned 56 I said “Never again!” and somehow the next year I turned 56 again
Spun around until I was delirious and secured an unpaid internship at the local batting cage
February 15, 2025 at 5:29 PM
Spun around until I was delirious and secured an unpaid internship at the local batting cage
Watched Billy Madison for probably the 187th time and laughed my damn ass off. Who comes up with this stuff anyway??
February 15, 2025 at 5:28 PM
Watched Billy Madison for probably the 187th time and laughed my damn ass off. Who comes up with this stuff anyway??
They messed up in 1993 and made way too many Combos. They are still trying to sell them. The Combos you are eating are 31+ years old.
February 15, 2025 at 5:08 PM
They messed up in 1993 and made way too many Combos. They are still trying to sell them. The Combos you are eating are 31+ years old.
Going “Andrew Zimmer Mode” eating some of tge freakiest foods
February 15, 2025 at 5:06 PM
Going “Andrew Zimmer Mode” eating some of tge freakiest foods
Too much politics on here!! Shut up!!!
February 15, 2025 at 2:54 PM
Too much politics on here!! Shut up!!!
Sorry but I love being a doctor. My bad!!
February 11, 2025 at 1:23 AM
Sorry but I love being a doctor. My bad!!
I love poison lol
February 11, 2025 at 1:22 AM
I love poison lol
Sorry I am so fascinated with grisly stuff lol my bad
February 11, 2025 at 1:21 AM
Sorry I am so fascinated with grisly stuff lol my bad
If anyone needs a soda let me know
February 11, 2025 at 1:21 AM
If anyone needs a soda let me know
I ate pizza two nights in a row and had one of the best waste depletions of my life today.
February 7, 2025 at 12:35 AM
I ate pizza two nights in a row and had one of the best waste depletions of my life today.
The Terminator in Terminator 5: Terminator Genisys - “Nice to see you.”
January 21, 2025 at 3:55 AM
The Terminator in Terminator 5: Terminator Genisys - “Nice to see you.”