@mikesjerven.bsky.social
The most unrealistic part of the movie Heat is when the fire alarm in the hotel is pulled people panic and run, instead of staying in bed and saying “goddammit I’m trying to watch Frazier”
November 7, 2025 at 3:52 AM
The most unrealistic part of the movie Heat is when the fire alarm in the hotel is pulled people panic and run, instead of staying in bed and saying “goddammit I’m trying to watch Frazier”
Just realized BJ from Righteous Gemstones was Craig (Craig?) from Veep. Really important I put this out to my many followers
July 16, 2025 at 12:48 AM
Just realized BJ from Righteous Gemstones was Craig (Craig?) from Veep. Really important I put this out to my many followers
I bet those people who live in tiny 200 square foot houses hate it when you say “neat fort”
June 13, 2025 at 3:46 AM
I bet those people who live in tiny 200 square foot houses hate it when you say “neat fort”
New Pope something something Pope Classic (I’m kinda tired)
April 22, 2025 at 5:18 PM
New Pope something something Pope Classic (I’m kinda tired)
All Seans, Shauns, and Shawns need to get together and pick one
April 14, 2025 at 5:00 AM
All Seans, Shauns, and Shawns need to get together and pick one
The pronunciation of “asterisk” needs to be tought over a full semester of high school
April 10, 2025 at 5:05 PM
The pronunciation of “asterisk” needs to be tought over a full semester of high school
“Less of a question, more of a comment”
“Less of an answer, more of a punch in the face”
“Less of an answer, more of a punch in the face”
April 9, 2025 at 2:48 PM
“Less of a question, more of a comment”
“Less of an answer, more of a punch in the face”
“Less of an answer, more of a punch in the face”
Whopper Jr, Jr Bacon Cheeseburger, and Son of Baconator all suggest that burgers be fuckin
March 15, 2025 at 5:21 AM
Whopper Jr, Jr Bacon Cheeseburger, and Son of Baconator all suggest that burgers be fuckin
You: what’s the difference between cleaning and washing?
Me: you fool. you absolute simpleton
Me: you fool. you absolute simpleton
February 27, 2025 at 6:50 PM
You: what’s the difference between cleaning and washing?
Me: you fool. you absolute simpleton
Me: you fool. you absolute simpleton
Never been a “long time no see” kind of guy. Gonna start giving it a go
February 24, 2025 at 5:42 PM
Never been a “long time no see” kind of guy. Gonna start giving it a go
@bennet.senate.gov apnews.com/article/dona...
What’s Musk’s security clearance? What are his friends clearances? Seems important to know
What’s Musk’s security clearance? What are his friends clearances? Seems important to know
Elon Musk's DOGE commission gains access to sensitive Treasury payment systems: AP sources
The Department of Government Efficiency, run by President Donald Trump’s billionaire adviser and Tesla CEO Elon Musk, has gained access to sensitive Treasury data including Social Security and Medicar...
apnews.com
February 2, 2025 at 5:09 AM
@bennet.senate.gov apnews.com/article/dona...
What’s Musk’s security clearance? What are his friends clearances? Seems important to know
What’s Musk’s security clearance? What are his friends clearances? Seems important to know
6’5” guys don’t get to dance at concerts. You got a lot of other advantages in life. but at a show you just got to be still, dude. People behind you are trying go get a good sight line based on where you are. What are you even doing in the front anyway?
January 5, 2025 at 4:51 PM
6’5” guys don’t get to dance at concerts. You got a lot of other advantages in life. but at a show you just got to be still, dude. People behind you are trying go get a good sight line based on where you are. What are you even doing in the front anyway?
Martika’s Toy Soldiers could be a good karaoke song but you’d have to decide what to do with the “won’t you come out and play with me” part. Would be cool if the crowd did that part but you’d need their buy-in right away
December 17, 2024 at 5:58 PM
Martika’s Toy Soldiers could be a good karaoke song but you’d have to decide what to do with the “won’t you come out and play with me” part. Would be cool if the crowd did that part but you’d need their buy-in right away
Some monkeys are friendly, but other monkeys are dangerous. Use caution when around monkeys.
December 16, 2024 at 6:53 PM
Some monkeys are friendly, but other monkeys are dangerous. Use caution when around monkeys.
I wonder what happened to the Oneders
November 19, 2024 at 3:03 PM
I wonder what happened to the Oneders
Is the correct plural “Marty McFlys” or “Marties McFly”?
October 27, 2024 at 2:59 AM
Is the correct plural “Marty McFlys” or “Marties McFly”?
The “I’m ready to go to dinner but my wife still needs 15 minutes” beer is a fantastic one
October 12, 2024 at 12:31 AM
The “I’m ready to go to dinner but my wife still needs 15 minutes” beer is a fantastic one
I’d be able to kill John Wick. You just got to want it more.
September 20, 2024 at 2:13 AM
I’d be able to kill John Wick. You just got to want it more.
I think a good idea for a tv show would be a doctor who’s not afraid to shake things up and play by his own rules
September 13, 2024 at 4:43 AM
I think a good idea for a tv show would be a doctor who’s not afraid to shake things up and play by his own rules
@drewmagary.bsky.social yes this is exactly what people want to see
September 6, 2024 at 12:53 AM
@drewmagary.bsky.social yes this is exactly what people want to see
Was in the Norwegian fjords last week. Every day I kept saying “there’s no way this is actually a real place”
August 28, 2024 at 8:23 PM
Was in the Norwegian fjords last week. Every day I kept saying “there’s no way this is actually a real place”
Played Me First and the Gimme Gimme’s Country Roads on touch tunes at a bar. Next person played Simply Red’s Holding Back the Years. The transmission on that touch tunes machine is fucked forever
June 28, 2024 at 10:15 PM
Played Me First and the Gimme Gimme’s Country Roads on touch tunes at a bar. Next person played Simply Red’s Holding Back the Years. The transmission on that touch tunes machine is fucked forever
Been on since January. One follower, guess I’m doing this right.
June 25, 2024 at 1:49 PM
Been on since January. One follower, guess I’m doing this right.
Listen, if I’m telling you Tarzan Boy was sung by Baltimora there is no reason to doubt me on this shit
March 3, 2024 at 5:06 AM
Listen, if I’m telling you Tarzan Boy was sung by Baltimora there is no reason to doubt me on this shit
Usher’s dancers right now
February 12, 2024 at 1:40 AM
Usher’s dancers right now