Someone got so freaked out in the waiting room at the vet that she shat herself in my lap. Back home the indignities only continue!

If you see this post a #vampire and pass it on

What an unbelievable piece of shit this guy is. “Whoops I meant to cure cancer but instead I became a billionaire by stealing from every single artist on the planet and swamping the world in an accelerating tide of inhuman shit. Whomp whomp.” Jesus Christ himself would break this motherfucker’s jaw

Your Uber is here

If you want to see how for the first time people in America are doing worse than their parents: this family went from seducing Marylin Monroe to courting Rob Schneider in a single generation.