It’s definitely a wonderful journey! There are a few people I like watching on YouTube that I have found to be very helpful.

It’s not others I have been fighting against it’s been myself that I fight against all along.

Hardening my heart under the guise of protecting myself has done far my damage than has ever provided this so called protection. This year & years past have lead me on this long journey with dangers of self lurking around every corner.

Holding onto to the hurt & safely placing it on the shelves of my memory to look at, hold, touch, & remember under the guise of protecting myself is placing myself in a mental prison which kills me spiritually.

But to say I forgive someone who has done these things or any other harmful way of being & holding onto the hurt is what is wrong.

I’ve acted in ways that I that I thought at the time were ways to protect myself. To protect myself from manipulation, lies, being used, disrespected, & hurt. Protecting myself & others from these things isn’t in itself wrong.

Thinking about the past versions of myself isn’t always comfortable or even easy to do especially when I started measuring myself against The Way in which The Most High desires me to live my life. I’ve said, believed, & done things, that I truly regret & mourn over often.