Middle Woe Parish Noticeboard
@middlewoeparish.bsky.social
A parody parish. Not real, just suspiciously familiar. Expect plague tallies, gossip, turnip disputes & the occasional goose on the loose.
https://noticeboard.middlewoeparishcouncil.com
https://noticeboard.middlewoeparishcouncil.com
To all Parishioners,
Tavern arguments must be settled according to the “Protocol for Resolving Incidents in Drinking Establishments.”
Respectfully yours,
Middle Woe Parish Council
#Tavern #AleHouseRules
Tavern arguments must be settled according to the “Protocol for Resolving Incidents in Drinking Establishments.”
Respectfully yours,
Middle Woe Parish Council
#Tavern #AleHouseRules
October 24, 2025 at 7:12 PM
To all Parishioners,
Tavern arguments must be settled according to the “Protocol for Resolving Incidents in Drinking Establishments.”
Respectfully yours,
Middle Woe Parish Council
#Tavern #AleHouseRules
Tavern arguments must be settled according to the “Protocol for Resolving Incidents in Drinking Establishments.”
Respectfully yours,
Middle Woe Parish Council
#Tavern #AleHouseRules
To all Parishioners,
Turnip disputes will be handled by the Council of Root-crop Arbitration & Produce Settlements (C.R.A.P.S.).
All outcomes are final, even if unfair.
Respectfully yours,
Middle Woe Parish Council
Turnip disputes will be handled by the Council of Root-crop Arbitration & Produce Settlements (C.R.A.P.S.).
All outcomes are final, even if unfair.
Respectfully yours,
Middle Woe Parish Council
October 22, 2025 at 1:22 PM
To all Parishioners,
Turnip disputes will be handled by the Council of Root-crop Arbitration & Produce Settlements (C.R.A.P.S.).
All outcomes are final, even if unfair.
Respectfully yours,
Middle Woe Parish Council
Turnip disputes will be handled by the Council of Root-crop Arbitration & Produce Settlements (C.R.A.P.S.).
All outcomes are final, even if unfair.
Respectfully yours,
Middle Woe Parish Council
To all Parishioners,
Morris dancing rehearsals must be cleared by the “Board for Ale, Revelry & Festivities.” No exceptions.
Respectfully yours,
Middle Woe Parish Council
#MorrisDancing #TudorEntertainment
Morris dancing rehearsals must be cleared by the “Board for Ale, Revelry & Festivities.” No exceptions.
Respectfully yours,
Middle Woe Parish Council
#MorrisDancing #TudorEntertainment
October 20, 2025 at 5:06 PM
To all Parishioners,
Morris dancing rehearsals must be cleared by the “Board for Ale, Revelry & Festivities.” No exceptions.
Respectfully yours,
Middle Woe Parish Council
#MorrisDancing #TudorEntertainment
Morris dancing rehearsals must be cleared by the “Board for Ale, Revelry & Festivities.” No exceptions.
Respectfully yours,
Middle Woe Parish Council
#MorrisDancing #TudorEntertainment
To all Parishioners,
All plague updates are to be recorded with the “Society for Noting Outbreaks & Triage" (SNOT).
Quills will be provided.
Masks optional, but please refer to Parish Noticeboard Rules Number 4 for more information.
Respectfully yours,
Middle Woe Parish Council
#PlagueMasks
All plague updates are to be recorded with the “Society for Noting Outbreaks & Triage" (SNOT).
Quills will be provided.
Masks optional, but please refer to Parish Noticeboard Rules Number 4 for more information.
Respectfully yours,
Middle Woe Parish Council
#PlagueMasks
October 17, 2025 at 6:55 PM
To all Parishioners,
All plague updates are to be recorded with the “Society for Noting Outbreaks & Triage" (SNOT).
Quills will be provided.
Masks optional, but please refer to Parish Noticeboard Rules Number 4 for more information.
Respectfully yours,
Middle Woe Parish Council
#PlagueMasks
All plague updates are to be recorded with the “Society for Noting Outbreaks & Triage" (SNOT).
Quills will be provided.
Masks optional, but please refer to Parish Noticeboard Rules Number 4 for more information.
Respectfully yours,
Middle Woe Parish Council
#PlagueMasks
To all Parishioners,
All latrine complaints must be filed with the “Council for Regulation of Underground Drainage" (CRUD).
Thank you for your cooperation.
Respectfully yours,
Middle Woe Parish Council
#TudorPlumbing
All latrine complaints must be filed with the “Council for Regulation of Underground Drainage" (CRUD).
Thank you for your cooperation.
Respectfully yours,
Middle Woe Parish Council
#TudorPlumbing
October 15, 2025 at 5:02 PM
To all Parishioners,
All latrine complaints must be filed with the “Council for Regulation of Underground Drainage" (CRUD).
Thank you for your cooperation.
Respectfully yours,
Middle Woe Parish Council
#TudorPlumbing
All latrine complaints must be filed with the “Council for Regulation of Underground Drainage" (CRUD).
Thank you for your cooperation.
Respectfully yours,
Middle Woe Parish Council
#TudorPlumbing
To all Parishioners,
Bandit sightings on the north road must be reported using the “Form for Outlaw Observation & Looting.” (FOOL).
Please attach details of stolen boots (they could be mine).
Respectfully yours,
Middle Woe Parish Council
#Bandits
Bandit sightings on the north road must be reported using the “Form for Outlaw Observation & Looting.” (FOOL).
Please attach details of stolen boots (they could be mine).
Respectfully yours,
Middle Woe Parish Council
#Bandits
October 13, 2025 at 6:02 PM
To all Parishioners,
Bandit sightings on the north road must be reported using the “Form for Outlaw Observation & Looting.” (FOOL).
Please attach details of stolen boots (they could be mine).
Respectfully yours,
Middle Woe Parish Council
#Bandits
Bandit sightings on the north road must be reported using the “Form for Outlaw Observation & Looting.” (FOOL).
Please attach details of stolen boots (they could be mine).
Respectfully yours,
Middle Woe Parish Council
#Bandits
To all Parishioners,
Bandit sightings on the north road must be reported using the “Form for Outlaw Observation & Looting.” (FOOL).
Please attach details of stolen boots (they could be mine).
Respectfully yours
Bandit sightings on the north road must be reported using the “Form for Outlaw Observation & Looting.” (FOOL).
Please attach details of stolen boots (they could be mine).
Respectfully yours
October 13, 2025 at 6:02 PM
To all Parishioners,
Bandit sightings on the north road must be reported using the “Form for Outlaw Observation & Looting.” (FOOL).
Please attach details of stolen boots (they could be mine).
Respectfully yours
Bandit sightings on the north road must be reported using the “Form for Outlaw Observation & Looting.” (FOOL).
Please attach details of stolen boots (they could be mine).
Respectfully yours
To all Parishioners,
Plague mask inspections are now the duty of the “Sanitary Hygiene Inspection Tribunal.”
All beaks must be measured before Sunday service.
Respectfully yours,
Middle Woe Parish Council
#Plague #TudorDisease
Plague mask inspections are now the duty of the “Sanitary Hygiene Inspection Tribunal.”
All beaks must be measured before Sunday service.
Respectfully yours,
Middle Woe Parish Council
#Plague #TudorDisease
October 10, 2025 at 7:26 PM
To all Parishioners,
Plague mask inspections are now the duty of the “Sanitary Hygiene Inspection Tribunal.”
All beaks must be measured before Sunday service.
Respectfully yours,
Middle Woe Parish Council
#Plague #TudorDisease
Plague mask inspections are now the duty of the “Sanitary Hygiene Inspection Tribunal.”
All beaks must be measured before Sunday service.
Respectfully yours,
Middle Woe Parish Council
#Plague #TudorDisease
To all Parishioners,
Plague mask inspections are now the duty of the “Sanitary Hygiene Inspection Tribunal.”
All beaks must be measured before Sunday service.
Respectfully yours
Plague mask inspections are now the duty of the “Sanitary Hygiene Inspection Tribunal.”
All beaks must be measured before Sunday service.
Respectfully yours
October 10, 2025 at 7:26 PM
To all Parishioners,
Plague mask inspections are now the duty of the “Sanitary Hygiene Inspection Tribunal.”
All beaks must be measured before Sunday service.
Respectfully yours
Plague mask inspections are now the duty of the “Sanitary Hygiene Inspection Tribunal.”
All beaks must be measured before Sunday service.
Respectfully yours
To all Parishioners,
Pilgrimage planning is to be coordinated with the “Holy Office for Routes & Expeditions.”
Maps available on request.
Respectfully yours,
Middle Woe Parish Council
#PlannningOffice
Pilgrimage planning is to be coordinated with the “Holy Office for Routes & Expeditions.”
Maps available on request.
Respectfully yours,
Middle Woe Parish Council
#PlannningOffice
October 8, 2025 at 7:21 PM
To all Parishioners,
Pilgrimage planning is to be coordinated with the “Holy Office for Routes & Expeditions.”
Maps available on request.
Respectfully yours,
Middle Woe Parish Council
#PlannningOffice
Pilgrimage planning is to be coordinated with the “Holy Office for Routes & Expeditions.”
Maps available on request.
Respectfully yours,
Middle Woe Parish Council
#PlannningOffice
To all Parishioners,
To the person who keeps leaving turnips on my doorstep: thank you, but please stop.
Our latrine cannot cope with any more sewage.
Respectfully yours,
Middle Woe Parish Council
#Turnips
To the person who keeps leaving turnips on my doorstep: thank you, but please stop.
Our latrine cannot cope with any more sewage.
Respectfully yours,
Middle Woe Parish Council
#Turnips
October 6, 2025 at 6:36 PM
To all Parishioners,
To the person who keeps leaving turnips on my doorstep: thank you, but please stop.
Our latrine cannot cope with any more sewage.
Respectfully yours,
Middle Woe Parish Council
#Turnips
To the person who keeps leaving turnips on my doorstep: thank you, but please stop.
Our latrine cannot cope with any more sewage.
Respectfully yours,
Middle Woe Parish Council
#Turnips
To all Parishioners,
To the person who keeps leaving turnips on my doorstep: thank you, but please stop.
Our latrine cannot cope with any more sewage.
Respectfully yours
To the person who keeps leaving turnips on my doorstep: thank you, but please stop.
Our latrine cannot cope with any more sewage.
Respectfully yours
October 6, 2025 at 6:26 PM
To all Parishioners,
To the person who keeps leaving turnips on my doorstep: thank you, but please stop.
Our latrine cannot cope with any more sewage.
Respectfully yours
To the person who keeps leaving turnips on my doorstep: thank you, but please stop.
Our latrine cannot cope with any more sewage.
Respectfully yours
To all Parishioners,
Goose-related assaults must be logged with the “Registry for Attacks by Geese & Incorrigible Ne’er-do-wells.”
Respectfully yours,
Middle Woe Parish Council
#Geese
Goose-related assaults must be logged with the “Registry for Attacks by Geese & Incorrigible Ne’er-do-wells.”
Respectfully yours,
Middle Woe Parish Council
#Geese
October 3, 2025 at 5:19 PM
To all Parishioners,
Goose-related assaults must be logged with the “Registry for Attacks by Geese & Incorrigible Ne’er-do-wells.”
Respectfully yours,
Middle Woe Parish Council
#Geese
Goose-related assaults must be logged with the “Registry for Attacks by Geese & Incorrigible Ne’er-do-wells.”
Respectfully yours,
Middle Woe Parish Council
#Geese
To all Parishioners,
Goose-related assaults must be logged with the “Registry for Attacks by Geese & Incorrigible Ne’er-do-wells.”
Respectfully yours
Goose-related assaults must be logged with the “Registry for Attacks by Geese & Incorrigible Ne’er-do-wells.”
Respectfully yours
October 3, 2025 at 5:19 PM
To all Parishioners,
Goose-related assaults must be logged with the “Registry for Attacks by Geese & Incorrigible Ne’er-do-wells.”
Respectfully yours
Goose-related assaults must be logged with the “Registry for Attacks by Geese & Incorrigible Ne’er-do-wells.”
Respectfully yours
To all Parishioners,
Any sightings of wandering pigs should be declared via the “Swine Tracking, Identification & Control Kit.”
Respectfully yours,
Middle Woe Parish Council
#LostAnimals
Any sightings of wandering pigs should be declared via the “Swine Tracking, Identification & Control Kit.”
Respectfully yours,
Middle Woe Parish Council
#LostAnimals
October 1, 2025 at 5:14 PM
To all Parishioners,
Any sightings of wandering pigs should be declared via the “Swine Tracking, Identification & Control Kit.”
Respectfully yours,
Middle Woe Parish Council
#LostAnimals
Any sightings of wandering pigs should be declared via the “Swine Tracking, Identification & Control Kit.”
Respectfully yours,
Middle Woe Parish Council
#LostAnimals
To all Parishioners,
Any sightings of wandering pigs should be declared via the “Swine Tracking, Identification & Control Kit.”
Respectfully yours
Any sightings of wandering pigs should be declared via the “Swine Tracking, Identification & Control Kit.”
Respectfully yours
October 1, 2025 at 5:14 PM
To all Parishioners,
Any sightings of wandering pigs should be declared via the “Swine Tracking, Identification & Control Kit.”
Respectfully yours
Any sightings of wandering pigs should be declared via the “Swine Tracking, Identification & Control Kit.”
Respectfully yours
To all Parishioners,
LOST: One tax rebate. Last seen in the dreams of Brother Edmund.
If spotted, please report immediately (though we suspect it never existed).
Respectfully yours,
Middle Woe Parish Council
#LostandFound
LOST: One tax rebate. Last seen in the dreams of Brother Edmund.
If spotted, please report immediately (though we suspect it never existed).
Respectfully yours,
Middle Woe Parish Council
#LostandFound
September 29, 2025 at 7:41 PM
To all Parishioners,
LOST: One tax rebate. Last seen in the dreams of Brother Edmund.
If spotted, please report immediately (though we suspect it never existed).
Respectfully yours,
Middle Woe Parish Council
#LostandFound
LOST: One tax rebate. Last seen in the dreams of Brother Edmund.
If spotted, please report immediately (though we suspect it never existed).
Respectfully yours,
Middle Woe Parish Council
#LostandFound
To all Parishioners,
LOST: One tax rebate. Last seen in the dreams of Brother Edmund.
If spotted, please report immediately (though we suspect it never existed).
Respectfully yours
LOST: One tax rebate. Last seen in the dreams of Brother Edmund.
If spotted, please report immediately (though we suspect it never existed).
Respectfully yours
September 29, 2025 at 7:41 PM
To all Parishioners,
LOST: One tax rebate. Last seen in the dreams of Brother Edmund.
If spotted, please report immediately (though we suspect it never existed).
Respectfully yours
LOST: One tax rebate. Last seen in the dreams of Brother Edmund.
If spotted, please report immediately (though we suspect it never existed).
Respectfully yours
To all Parishioners,
Reminder: Witchcraft sales are not permitted here.
Potions, charms, and slightly cursed cauldrons must be listed on Marketplace with clear disclaimers.
We will not take any responsibility for ailments from these purchases.
Respectfully yours,
Middle Woe Parish Council
Reminder: Witchcraft sales are not permitted here.
Potions, charms, and slightly cursed cauldrons must be listed on Marketplace with clear disclaimers.
We will not take any responsibility for ailments from these purchases.
Respectfully yours,
Middle Woe Parish Council
September 26, 2025 at 7:39 PM
To all Parishioners,
Reminder: Witchcraft sales are not permitted here.
Potions, charms, and slightly cursed cauldrons must be listed on Marketplace with clear disclaimers.
We will not take any responsibility for ailments from these purchases.
Respectfully yours,
Middle Woe Parish Council
Reminder: Witchcraft sales are not permitted here.
Potions, charms, and slightly cursed cauldrons must be listed on Marketplace with clear disclaimers.
We will not take any responsibility for ailments from these purchases.
Respectfully yours,
Middle Woe Parish Council
To all Parishioners,
Public disputes in the alehouse shall be settled under the “Charter for Regulating Alehouse Proceedings.” (CRAP).
Please remain civil.
Respectfully yours,
Middle Woe Parish Council
#PublicDisputes
Public disputes in the alehouse shall be settled under the “Charter for Regulating Alehouse Proceedings.” (CRAP).
Please remain civil.
Respectfully yours,
Middle Woe Parish Council
#PublicDisputes
September 24, 2025 at 6:57 PM
To all Parishioners,
Public disputes in the alehouse shall be settled under the “Charter for Regulating Alehouse Proceedings.” (CRAP).
Please remain civil.
Respectfully yours,
Middle Woe Parish Council
#PublicDisputes
Public disputes in the alehouse shall be settled under the “Charter for Regulating Alehouse Proceedings.” (CRAP).
Please remain civil.
Respectfully yours,
Middle Woe Parish Council
#PublicDisputes
To all Parishioners,
Public disputes in the alehouse shall be settled under the “Charter for Regulating Alehouse Proceedings.” (CRAP).
Please remain civil.
Respectfully yours
Public disputes in the alehouse shall be settled under the “Charter for Regulating Alehouse Proceedings.” (CRAP).
Please remain civil.
Respectfully yours
September 24, 2025 at 6:57 PM
To all Parishioners,
Public disputes in the alehouse shall be settled under the “Charter for Regulating Alehouse Proceedings.” (CRAP).
Please remain civil.
Respectfully yours
Public disputes in the alehouse shall be settled under the “Charter for Regulating Alehouse Proceedings.” (CRAP).
Please remain civil.
Respectfully yours
To all Parishioners,
𝐅𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝: One finger bone. Found in the church yard.
Could belong to St. Cuthbert, a chicken, or a parishioner’s. (It’s hard to tell).
If you believe you have lost one, please claim at the parish hall with suitable evidence.
Respectfully yours,
Middle Woe Parish Council
𝐅𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝: One finger bone. Found in the church yard.
Could belong to St. Cuthbert, a chicken, or a parishioner’s. (It’s hard to tell).
If you believe you have lost one, please claim at the parish hall with suitable evidence.
Respectfully yours,
Middle Woe Parish Council
September 22, 2025 at 7:04 PM
To all Parishioners,
𝐅𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝: One finger bone. Found in the church yard.
Could belong to St. Cuthbert, a chicken, or a parishioner’s. (It’s hard to tell).
If you believe you have lost one, please claim at the parish hall with suitable evidence.
Respectfully yours,
Middle Woe Parish Council
𝐅𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝: One finger bone. Found in the church yard.
Could belong to St. Cuthbert, a chicken, or a parishioner’s. (It’s hard to tell).
If you believe you have lost one, please claim at the parish hall with suitable evidence.
Respectfully yours,
Middle Woe Parish Council
To all Parishioners,
𝐅𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝: One finger bone. Found in the church yard.
Could belong to St. Cuthbert, a chicken, or a parishioner’s. (It’s hard to tell).
If you believe you have lost one, please claim at the parish hall with suitable evidence.
Respectfully yours
𝐅𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝: One finger bone. Found in the church yard.
Could belong to St. Cuthbert, a chicken, or a parishioner’s. (It’s hard to tell).
If you believe you have lost one, please claim at the parish hall with suitable evidence.
Respectfully yours
September 22, 2025 at 7:04 PM
To all Parishioners,
𝐅𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝: One finger bone. Found in the church yard.
Could belong to St. Cuthbert, a chicken, or a parishioner’s. (It’s hard to tell).
If you believe you have lost one, please claim at the parish hall with suitable evidence.
Respectfully yours
𝐅𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝: One finger bone. Found in the church yard.
Could belong to St. Cuthbert, a chicken, or a parishioner’s. (It’s hard to tell).
If you believe you have lost one, please claim at the parish hall with suitable evidence.
Respectfully yours
To all Parishioners,
Notice: The Morris dancers are rehearsing again this Thursday. Please keep windows closed to avoid excessive noise pollution.
The Middle Woe Parish Council accept no responsility for deadfness as a result of not following this simple instruction.
Respectfully yours
Notice: The Morris dancers are rehearsing again this Thursday. Please keep windows closed to avoid excessive noise pollution.
The Middle Woe Parish Council accept no responsility for deadfness as a result of not following this simple instruction.
Respectfully yours
September 19, 2025 at 7:02 PM
To all Parishioners,
Notice: The Morris dancers are rehearsing again this Thursday. Please keep windows closed to avoid excessive noise pollution.
The Middle Woe Parish Council accept no responsility for deadfness as a result of not following this simple instruction.
Respectfully yours
Notice: The Morris dancers are rehearsing again this Thursday. Please keep windows closed to avoid excessive noise pollution.
The Middle Woe Parish Council accept no responsility for deadfness as a result of not following this simple instruction.
Respectfully yours
To all Parishioners,
Turnip disputes are now the responsibility of the “Turnip Union for Regulation & Disciplinary Settlements."
Please direct quarrels immediately to the TURDS.
Respectfully yours,
Middle Woe Parish Council
Turnip disputes are now the responsibility of the “Turnip Union for Regulation & Disciplinary Settlements."
Please direct quarrels immediately to the TURDS.
Respectfully yours,
Middle Woe Parish Council
September 17, 2025 at 7:48 PM
To all Parishioners,
Turnip disputes are now the responsibility of the “Turnip Union for Regulation & Disciplinary Settlements."
Please direct quarrels immediately to the TURDS.
Respectfully yours,
Middle Woe Parish Council
Turnip disputes are now the responsibility of the “Turnip Union for Regulation & Disciplinary Settlements."
Please direct quarrels immediately to the TURDS.
Respectfully yours,
Middle Woe Parish Council