Michael Good
@michaelgooood.bsky.social
Wikipedia rabbit holes are something else, last night I started on UConn Men's Basketball and ended up on the Gunpowder Plot
March 19, 2025 at 10:06 PM
Wikipedia rabbit holes are something else, last night I started on UConn Men's Basketball and ended up on the Gunpowder Plot
ridiculous that raconteur means “good storyteller” and not “raccoon expert”
March 19, 2025 at 5:41 PM
ridiculous that raconteur means “good storyteller” and not “raccoon expert”
savings bonds are like “hey do you want 2 bucks a thousand years from now?”
March 18, 2025 at 8:17 PM
savings bonds are like “hey do you want 2 bucks a thousand years from now?”
companies will raise their price 13% and be like btw this was very hard for us :(
March 17, 2025 at 7:42 PM
companies will raise their price 13% and be like btw this was very hard for us :(
growing up I wanted to be a basketball coach and my parents were like “that’s really hard to get into” and then I wanted to be a comedian and they were like “what about coaching basketball?”
March 16, 2025 at 7:45 PM
growing up I wanted to be a basketball coach and my parents were like “that’s really hard to get into” and then I wanted to be a comedian and they were like “what about coaching basketball?”
every adult woman I know is reading like they're trying to qualify for a pizza party and every guy I know owes DraftKings $5000
March 13, 2025 at 5:34 PM
every adult woman I know is reading like they're trying to qualify for a pizza party and every guy I know owes DraftKings $5000
guy next to me on the plane asked what the drinks limit was & the flight attendant said "4" & he said "for the whole flight or at one time" & she said "at one time" & he said "I'll take 2 Bud Lights and 2 shots of whiskey” like it’s a movie and we’re meeting the main character
March 12, 2025 at 5:25 PM
guy next to me on the plane asked what the drinks limit was & the flight attendant said "4" & he said "for the whole flight or at one time" & she said "at one time" & he said "I'll take 2 Bud Lights and 2 shots of whiskey” like it’s a movie and we’re meeting the main character
hey! sorry I'm running late due to circumstances well within my control
March 11, 2025 at 5:14 PM
hey! sorry I'm running late due to circumstances well within my control
audience member came up after the show and said "I thought you were the second funniest" and I asked who was funniest and he said "I don't know"
March 10, 2025 at 5:34 PM
audience member came up after the show and said "I thought you were the second funniest" and I asked who was funniest and he said "I don't know"
missed connection: you had 200 likes on a picture and I was the 10th dude in a row to comment “damn”
March 9, 2025 at 6:21 PM
missed connection: you had 200 likes on a picture and I was the 10th dude in a row to comment “damn”
by far the most common character you encounter in standup comedy is dudes with a 20 for perseverance and a 1 for self-awareness
March 8, 2025 at 6:35 PM
by far the most common character you encounter in standup comedy is dudes with a 20 for perseverance and a 1 for self-awareness
[calculating my rate for an hour set off of what I make for a 10 minute set] I'll do it for 12 beers
March 8, 2025 at 2:07 AM
[calculating my rate for an hour set off of what I make for a 10 minute set] I'll do it for 12 beers
I tweeted something and the only person to like it was my fiancee it's like I guess this could have just been a conversation
March 7, 2025 at 6:48 PM
I tweeted something and the only person to like it was my fiancee it's like I guess this could have just been a conversation
easy fix for the NBA ratings problem, after the Finals air a reunion show hosted by Andy Cohen
March 7, 2025 at 12:07 AM
easy fix for the NBA ratings problem, after the Finals air a reunion show hosted by Andy Cohen
a comic telling the crowd “you can laugh, it’s alright” is like telling a basketball “you can go in the hoop, it’s ok”
March 6, 2025 at 6:08 PM
a comic telling the crowd “you can laugh, it’s alright” is like telling a basketball “you can go in the hoop, it’s ok”
mentioned Brave New World to my girl and she said "is that the one with the toaster? wait maybe I'm thinking of The Brave Little Toaster"
March 5, 2025 at 11:21 PM
mentioned Brave New World to my girl and she said "is that the one with the toaster? wait maybe I'm thinking of The Brave Little Toaster"
"we don't talk enough about" yes we do we talk too much about everything
March 5, 2025 at 6:48 PM
"we don't talk enough about" yes we do we talk too much about everything
love when a second car alarm joins in out of solidarity
March 4, 2025 at 7:38 PM
love when a second car alarm joins in out of solidarity
it's important to remember that all my mistakes have made me what I am today - worse
March 3, 2025 at 6:34 PM
it's important to remember that all my mistakes have made me what I am today - worse
it's not just that people have main character syndrome it's that they'll start talking to you like you've been watching their show
March 2, 2025 at 6:19 PM
it's not just that people have main character syndrome it's that they'll start talking to you like you've been watching their show
got a fresh new idea for a podcast, it's gonna be like every other podcast BUT this one will be hosted by me
March 1, 2025 at 6:40 PM
got a fresh new idea for a podcast, it's gonna be like every other podcast BUT this one will be hosted by me
comedians will be like "I hate small talk" and then ask everyone in the crowd what they do for a living
February 28, 2025 at 6:16 PM
comedians will be like "I hate small talk" and then ask everyone in the crowd what they do for a living
when you quit comedy you should auction off your best jokes like an estate sale
February 27, 2025 at 8:14 PM
when you quit comedy you should auction off your best jokes like an estate sale
Hemingway famously wrote a 6 word story with a full dramatic arc and so did this guy I saw on Facebook who wrote “happy belated birthday to my fiancee”
February 26, 2025 at 7:10 PM
Hemingway famously wrote a 6 word story with a full dramatic arc and so did this guy I saw on Facebook who wrote “happy belated birthday to my fiancee”
fiancee: I love
me: [expecting “you”]
fiancee: being right
me: [expecting “you”]
fiancee: being right
February 25, 2025 at 9:51 PM
fiancee: I love
me: [expecting “you”]
fiancee: being right
me: [expecting “you”]
fiancee: being right