I've been a huge fan of the onion for over two decades, and couldn't be happier to see that it's still going strong and as relevant as ever

Legit thought this was an Onion headline

Same advice for men. Ignore other men. Also women. Focus on yourself. Pay attention to your friends, your family, your hobbies.

There are more poppyseeds on a poppyseed bagel than there are sesame seeds on a poppyseed bagel