I love snow blowing, I just don’t like how long it takes to make the snowman
December 28, 2025 at 9:57 PM
I love snow blowing, I just don’t like how long it takes to make the snowman
“Are you okay with
getting the little gnome one?
It has lady bugs”.
- a Haiku by @marshmellowfluffs.bsky.social
getting the little gnome one?
It has lady bugs”.
- a Haiku by @marshmellowfluffs.bsky.social
December 26, 2025 at 11:47 PM
“Are you okay with
getting the little gnome one?
It has lady bugs”.
- a Haiku by @marshmellowfluffs.bsky.social
getting the little gnome one?
It has lady bugs”.
- a Haiku by @marshmellowfluffs.bsky.social
I’m bringing a heavy “late stage capitalism is suffocating the human spirit” energy to our work’s team building activities that I don’t think they were prepared for
December 1, 2025 at 10:44 PM
I’m bringing a heavy “late stage capitalism is suffocating the human spirit” energy to our work’s team building activities that I don’t think they were prepared for
“I luh dat crack“ - my wife
November 28, 2025 at 4:32 PM
“I luh dat crack“ - my wife
Meeting inspector at a site for final inspection
Inspector: “where are the labels on the main service panel?”
Me: “huh that’s weird. Wait what’s that behind your ear?”
I reach behind the inspector’s ear and pull out all the labels like the greatest uncle/magician of all time.
We failed inspection
Inspector: “where are the labels on the main service panel?”
Me: “huh that’s weird. Wait what’s that behind your ear?”
I reach behind the inspector’s ear and pull out all the labels like the greatest uncle/magician of all time.
We failed inspection
November 26, 2025 at 12:26 PM
Meeting inspector at a site for final inspection
Inspector: “where are the labels on the main service panel?”
Me: “huh that’s weird. Wait what’s that behind your ear?”
I reach behind the inspector’s ear and pull out all the labels like the greatest uncle/magician of all time.
We failed inspection
Inspector: “where are the labels on the main service panel?”
Me: “huh that’s weird. Wait what’s that behind your ear?”
I reach behind the inspector’s ear and pull out all the labels like the greatest uncle/magician of all time.
We failed inspection
When I was a baby a wizard cast a spell on me so that I wouldn’t want to work or care about a career
November 18, 2025 at 12:32 AM
When I was a baby a wizard cast a spell on me so that I wouldn’t want to work or care about a career
Low stakes conspiracy theory: two of the biggest players on the packers’, aka the cheeseheads, are ‘Love’ and ‘Kraft’. Come on now
October 12, 2025 at 9:29 PM
Low stakes conspiracy theory: two of the biggest players on the packers’, aka the cheeseheads, are ‘Love’ and ‘Kraft’. Come on now
“Can you microwave a lime without repercussions?”
August 30, 2025 at 10:38 PM
“Can you microwave a lime without repercussions?”
Anyone have any show recommendations? For context I really love shows that are nostalgic and remind me of a specific time in my life.
August 7, 2025 at 11:54 PM
Anyone have any show recommendations? For context I really love shows that are nostalgic and remind me of a specific time in my life.
My favorite color is oh my god bitch
July 30, 2025 at 10:27 PM
My favorite color is oh my god bitch
-sees open sign at restaurant. cool, go inside to eat
-get inside and the sign now says closed. Okay I guess; leave the restaurant
-go outside and see open sign. Repeat infinitely
-get inside and the sign now says closed. Okay I guess; leave the restaurant
-go outside and see open sign. Repeat infinitely
July 29, 2025 at 12:12 AM
-sees open sign at restaurant. cool, go inside to eat
-get inside and the sign now says closed. Okay I guess; leave the restaurant
-go outside and see open sign. Repeat infinitely
-get inside and the sign now says closed. Okay I guess; leave the restaurant
-go outside and see open sign. Repeat infinitely
Non-vacation me is feeling annoyed with past vacation me
July 27, 2025 at 10:52 PM
Non-vacation me is feeling annoyed with past vacation me
Vacation me doesn’t worry about how much things cost and how much money I’m spending. That’s for future non-vacation me to deal with
July 20, 2025 at 2:53 AM
Vacation me doesn’t worry about how much things cost and how much money I’m spending. That’s for future non-vacation me to deal with
I find comfort knowing that the sun will completely engulf the earth in a mere 7.5 billion years
May 30, 2025 at 7:42 PM
I find comfort knowing that the sun will completely engulf the earth in a mere 7.5 billion years
I drank two large margaritas and I feel incredible. Is that normal?
May 9, 2025 at 1:05 AM
I drank two large margaritas and I feel incredible. Is that normal?
Yall don’t need saunas if ya got an attic
April 23, 2025 at 9:32 PM
Yall don’t need saunas if ya got an attic
I just read the entirety of “House of Leaves” on a bottle of Dr Bronner’s
April 21, 2025 at 12:59 AM
I just read the entirety of “House of Leaves” on a bottle of Dr Bronner’s
I have purchased so many extended warranties for my car, but I keep getting calls saying my warranty is expired. These must be the shortest warranties ever.
April 17, 2025 at 9:26 PM
I have purchased so many extended warranties for my car, but I keep getting calls saying my warranty is expired. These must be the shortest warranties ever.
Reposted
“I do all my cooking with my balls, eye balls”
April 14, 2025 at 9:44 PM
“I do all my cooking with my balls, eye balls”
The finale was good but I was a little disappointed by the lack of dong #whitelotus
April 7, 2025 at 2:33 AM
The finale was good but I was a little disappointed by the lack of dong #whitelotus
Urinals be getting sleeker and sleeker
April 3, 2025 at 5:47 PM
Urinals be getting sleeker and sleeker
When I was vegetarian I discovered that comparison is the thief of soy
April 2, 2025 at 11:28 PM
When I was vegetarian I discovered that comparison is the thief of soy
Y’all ever say “oopsie doopsie I made a pudding whoopsie”?
March 29, 2025 at 3:34 PM
Y’all ever say “oopsie doopsie I made a pudding whoopsie”?