At my age, I'm less horny and more of a flutist playing flight of the bumblebees.

It just seems to me that at my age, the only decent women I meet are either married or deceased

Give a man a mask and he will tell you the truth.

Did you hear the one about the skunk without a nose? He smelled badly....

If I'm attracted to Jessica Rabbit, does that make me toonsexual? Strange thoughts after midnight

Sometimes I look in the mirror and I think...am I weird or is it just me?

I simply can not listen to Christmas music until I finish cleaning the political ads wax from my ears. There doesn't appear to be a QTip big enough to do the job. Maybe a fire hose or a blow torch will do the trick.

If the night is darkest before the dawn, then it's only at your weakest that you find the strong.