Merrill Markoe
@merrillmarkoe.bsky.social
Writer of things intended to be humor and animal lover. I post A LOT of pieces on my Substack page:"Still Looking for the Joke" https://substack.com/@merrillmarkoe?utm_source=user-menu
How I am going to make my millions: Lawn decorations for Thanksgiving.
November 25, 2025 at 3:27 PM
How I am going to make my millions: Lawn decorations for Thanksgiving.
Since we live in a culture that worships merch, I've always wondered why there are no specific lawn decorations for Thanksgiving. Very occasionally a blow up turkey. Nothing else. Until now when I present my new idea for making millions:
November 24, 2025 at 8:12 PM
Since we live in a culture that worships merch, I've always wondered why there are no specific lawn decorations for Thanksgiving. Very occasionally a blow up turkey. Nothing else. Until now when I present my new idea for making millions:
This year I shopped early to make sure I got the best ingredients for my traditional American Thanksgiving dinner.
November 23, 2025 at 8:03 PM
This year I shopped early to make sure I got the best ingredients for my traditional American Thanksgiving dinner.
New work by Robert Crumb at Zwirner Gallery in L.A. Show is called 'Tales of Paranoia.' And Mr. Crumb is NOT kidding. But boy, that guy can really draw.
November 8, 2025 at 7:00 AM
New work by Robert Crumb at Zwirner Gallery in L.A. Show is called 'Tales of Paranoia.' And Mr. Crumb is NOT kidding. But boy, that guy can really draw.
On one of the few bright sides: This is the best Halloween decor in my neighborhood. Apparently the Mom in this house is an incredibly good sport.
October 24, 2025 at 5:40 PM
On one of the few bright sides: This is the best Halloween decor in my neighborhood. Apparently the Mom in this house is an incredibly good sport.
Just thought everyone might like to see a photo of The East Wing of The White House before it was completely and totally demolished by our current president. (courtesy @jefftiedrich.bsky.social )
October 23, 2025 at 3:26 PM
Just thought everyone might like to see a photo of The East Wing of The White House before it was completely and totally demolished by our current president. (courtesy @jefftiedrich.bsky.social )
I love Halloween and Halloween decorations as much as the next person. In fact, probably quite a bit more, depending on who the next person is. But THIS is NOT the kind of Halloween decoration you want to see at your Dentist's office.
October 14, 2025 at 11:55 PM
I love Halloween and Halloween decorations as much as the next person. In fact, probably quite a bit more, depending on who the next person is. But THIS is NOT the kind of Halloween decoration you want to see at your Dentist's office.
So the Universe held a spiritual meeting and said unto itself "What kind of mushrooms should we plant on the property of a woman who has spent a good deal of her life writing about her dogs?" And the Universe answered "Pisolithus Tinctorius. The Dog Turd fungus." And presto. These two came forth.
October 1, 2025 at 8:09 PM
So the Universe held a spiritual meeting and said unto itself "What kind of mushrooms should we plant on the property of a woman who has spent a good deal of her life writing about her dogs?" And the Universe answered "Pisolithus Tinctorius. The Dog Turd fungus." And presto. These two came forth.
I volunteer at a wildlife rescue where we raise orphan baby wildlife and then release them when they are mature enough. So I get to release some of them into my yard to begin their professional lives.Here are 5 baby squirrels seeing freedom for the first time.
October 1, 2025 at 6:03 PM
I volunteer at a wildlife rescue where we raise orphan baby wildlife and then release them when they are mature enough. So I get to release some of them into my yard to begin their professional lives.Here are 5 baby squirrels seeing freedom for the first time.
No wait. A person has to be careful with this stuff. I almost misunderstood myself completely.
August 27, 2025 at 3:31 PM
No wait. A person has to be careful with this stuff. I almost misunderstood myself completely.
Not enough has been said about AI as a useful way to get to know yourself better. I just tested an AI image search using my own photo and was surprised, to say the least, at the amount of stuff about myself that I had been getting wrong. This will be very helpful going forward.
August 27, 2025 at 3:22 PM
Not enough has been said about AI as a useful way to get to know yourself better. I just tested an AI image search using my own photo and was surprised, to say the least, at the amount of stuff about myself that I had been getting wrong. This will be very helpful going forward.
I forgot to mention this handsome man.
August 27, 2025 at 3:30 AM
I forgot to mention this handsome man.
Important squirrels I have met this week.
August 27, 2025 at 3:27 AM
Important squirrels I have met this week.
Just rewatched Oh Brother Where Art Thou and realized I know what song The Foggy Bottom Boys should write as a sequel to Man of Constant Sorrow:
August 26, 2025 at 11:55 PM
Just rewatched Oh Brother Where Art Thou and realized I know what song The Foggy Bottom Boys should write as a sequel to Man of Constant Sorrow:
Because I am me, I bought a bag of this stuff. Not too bad. But a bittersweet experience because what I really would have liked was to be a fly on the wall at the meeting where everyone sat at a long conference table and debated what adjective they were going to pair with DELICIOUS.
August 22, 2025 at 9:02 PM
Because I am me, I bought a bag of this stuff. Not too bad. But a bittersweet experience because what I really would have liked was to be a fly on the wall at the meeting where everyone sat at a long conference table and debated what adjective they were going to pair with DELICIOUS.
Breaking news: The ground squirrels were eating all my flowers. So I had to hire a sentry.
July 24, 2025 at 2:42 AM
Breaking news: The ground squirrels were eating all my flowers. So I had to hire a sentry.
Fun new gift to give as a surprise gift to your MAGA friends and family in the midwest.
July 9, 2025 at 4:44 PM
Fun new gift to give as a surprise gift to your MAGA friends and family in the midwest.
Fun new surprise gift for your overly careful friend who insists on listing all the prohibited exceptions to their diet.
July 9, 2025 at 4:44 PM
Fun new surprise gift for your overly careful friend who insists on listing all the prohibited exceptions to their diet.
Now, from the dept. of "Things That Are Not Part of You-know-Who and His Compound Messes": Did you know that you can grow more lettuce from existing lettuce cores? Look! Now that I know how, my house is filling up with tiny lettuces. Is this a good thing? Well...you may not think so but I LIKE IT.
June 24, 2025 at 6:51 PM
Now, from the dept. of "Things That Are Not Part of You-know-Who and His Compound Messes": Did you know that you can grow more lettuce from existing lettuce cores? Look! Now that I know how, my house is filling up with tiny lettuces. Is this a good thing? Well...you may not think so but I LIKE IT.
So, I guess Jeff Bezos is branching out into poetry as a way to bond with customers before he meets the same fate that befell Elon Musk.
June 17, 2025 at 6:35 PM
So, I guess Jeff Bezos is branching out into poetry as a way to bond with customers before he meets the same fate that befell Elon Musk.