Why Trauma Hijacks Your Thoughts: How the Brain Protects You, Not Punishes You Trauma changes the way your brain thinks, and not because you’re “broken,” damaged, or doing anything wrong. Trauma chang...

By Melissa Lavallee For many, love has felt more like a battlefield than a refuge. Behind closed doors, what starts as tenderness can spiral into fear, manipulation, and pain. The truth is, healing from intimate partner violence doesn’t always begin with visible bruises. But it always begins with acknowledging the harm—and reclaiming your voice. As a trauma-informed mental health professional, I often support people navigating the shadows of relationships that were supposed to be safe.

Fiction Rooted in Truth: Trauma-Informed Fiction with Lived Experience There’s a moment in my novel where the main character, Emma, wakes up at dawn—not in her bed, but outside. Her socks are torn.Gravel cuts into her feet.She doesn’t remember how she got there.The world feels too loud and too quiet at the same time.Everything is sharp… but nothing is clear.

You’re not behind. You’re becoming. If you’ve ever found yourself whispering, “I should be further along by now,”I want you to pause.And breathe.Because that feeling? That quiet shame?It’s not the truth. Healing doesn’t follow a schedule.It doesn’t care about your planner, your goals, or your deadlines.Healing is wild.Unpredictable.And deeply sacred. It spirals.

You’ve probably heard it before: “Just take action.”“Push through.”“All it takes is five seconds of courage.” And for some people, maybe it works.Maybe it even helped you… for a while. But for me—and for many trauma survivors I’ve worked with—those words eventually stopped landing. They started to hurt. Because here’s the truth most productivity gurus don’t talk about: