He’s got so much money he doesn’t understand what numbers even are anymore. My current premiums are almost as much as all my state and federal tax withholdings combined, asking me whether I would trade that for a 12% increase in my overall taxes is an incredibly stupid question

By all means! “I need a book to read” is my bat signal

I tend to go back and re-read favorites - T. Kingfisher (Swordheart, A Wizard’s Guide to Defensive Baking), Lois McMaster Bujold (The Curse of Chalion), Everina Maxwell (Winter’s Orbit), Connie Willis (The Road to Roswell, To Say Nothing of the Dog)

I’m staff at a university and so many faculty profoundly fail to understand that this works against them. Yes, helping people is part of my vocation. But if you treat me like garbage I *will* make you regret it even if it means making your life worse by tiny increments over the span of decades

Me: whoa I fell asleep, what time is it??
<sees phone that says 5:15>
<sees pitch darkness outside window>
<still has no idea if I slept 20 minutes or 12 hours>

Why not both?

AI may be coming for you but luckily there’s no door so it’s not going to get very far

meanwhile everyone who married into the family is bewildered and annoyed

I regret to inform you they are the farthest thing from good. Grape nuts are a punishment of a cereal

I feel like I need holy water to scrub the phrase “nutted grapes” from my brain

I have no idea about the naming but somehow TNNZEET leggings are the most comfortable things in the goddamn world

Donald Trump and George W Bush are very different in many ways but they have this in common: they were/are very appealing to large numbers of people and I would very much like to know what the fuck is wrong with every last one of them

Hateful. Reminds me of this monstrosity

I may or may not say FUCK THE JAZZ AGE whenever I see an ad for glasses

my spouse has been watching Death by Lightning so A Tale of Two Garfields has been on my mind a lot

I’m not doing any holiday baking until after my new dishwasher gets installed, but I’ve been wanting to try toasted coconut rice krispie treats

the inability of the medical profession to see fatness as a symptom of anything rather than the cause of everything is ENRAGING