To say nothing of both the puritanicalness and level of media literacy in this country, I realized that "I Touch Myself" could garner customer complaints, so I unironically switched the song to Dancing With Myself.

Possibly the biggest blow to my aspiring pornographic career: Finding out the creators of Bibleman are litigious.

Have we all forgotten that "eh, ooh, ooh ooh, ah" means heart?

Bet you wish you had a boywife like me ❤

Would you consider this library haul a red flag?

Don't eat the Aldi buffalo chicken pizza. It's absolutely delicious and you'll shit hellfire.

Mfs spiraling and unaliving themselves over less trauma and hardship than I had accumulated in my big toe when I was six years old is why I can't have any friends.

Things I cannot remember: Important phone numbers, dates and times, what month it is, how old I am.

Things I can remember: Hey Flappy Bob, can't ya see what they've done? They needed a pawn, and clearly you were the one. They took away your clowny clothes, your floppy shoes and big red nose-

How do I become indifferent to rude, trashy, selfish, entitled behavior on constant display from persons I cannot escape from?

Transphobes be jealous because my soft twinkish body smells like Lucky Charms, the San Fransisco treat.

Can't believe they sent Castiel to Turbo Hell when he didn't even watch Boku no Pico.

A cable car would be a really shitty place to lose an argument because you can't even get away from the bastard.

The most recent jewelry piece I am proud of.