I would say I’m never leaving my house again, but I don’t think that would really help much against an ocean of swirling death.

Dope list! Ever read The Razor's Edge (also by Maugham)? It's one of my favorites. Oh, and there's a great audiobook version of Brave New World narrated by Michael York.

Picturing him secreting it like the Slurm Queen on Futurama, hating myself for allowing my mind to go to such a dark place.

Losing track of which racist trope you’re going for and accidentally firing off a masterful self-own. Classic rookie mistake.

A doink like this reminds you why you got into the listening-to-thing-collide-with-other-thing game in the first place.

First time I saw him in a comedic role. Ridiculous range.

“Instead of standing up to the worst humans alive, have you considered worshipping them?”

Slumber, furry prince.

A celebrity going hard-fash either means they've realized they're on the back end of their career or they immediately need a wellness check. I wish I was joking!

There is only a small part of my brain that takes awards seriously, but that small part of my brain is constantly annoyed that Michelle Williams somehow doesn't have an Oscar.

Putting people who hate their fellow citizens in charge of government.
Putting people who hate free speech in charge of journalism.

These sure are some terrible ideas! Perhaps we should stop doing them!

“We’ve committed too many crimes to stop now!” is pretty much the only sales pitch they have left, I guess.

Being chased by geese still better than being chased by turkeys, although neither situation is ideal.

I want to get paid to be bad at everything and do everything wrong. What does Bari Weiss have that I don't. :(

Rob Delaney is prepping to play dril in a movie! And he's going method!

Oh, right, like I’m going to walk to an entirely different Ess-a-Bagel just because the one closest to my place is also where one of history’s greatest monsters happens to go.

Here me out: the reason why AI slop resonates so strongly with these types of people is because the same cognitive dissonance that makes AI slop so incompatible with normal brains is actually an accurate reflection of what goes on in the deeply strange minds of the Bari Weiss crowd.