I posted this 3 months ago and folks it got way shittier but I can truly say I have the best friends in the world who take really good care of my ass when it’s falling apart

I didn’t realize this would rattle the men

I’ll have to consult with your wife

Something something extracting jack sparrow dna

I legit said “you know aunt Lauren? You should talk to aunt Lauren about this.”

Missing hemangiocarcinoma in my own perfect dog has fucked me in ways I will never recover from

Also hello I went to a vape then quit the vape and now I have bugs in my skin

What if I send you pics of Gus being upset

Why am I listening to a song about Travis’ dick on repeat (because it’s funky)

Now you have to wait to listen to life of a showgirl. That’s the punishment