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meaningruiner.bsky.social
mari 🦇🎱
@meaningruiner.bsky.social
76 followers 83 following 200 posts
philly-based haunter, organizer, writer | essays and poems over on meaningruiner.substack.com | they/he
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meaningruiner.bsky.social
if you know me, you know the scares never end but thanks for reading & entertaining my yearly horrors thread <3
WEEN HALLOWED
November 1, 2025 at 6:02 PM
meaningruiner.bsky.social
not to get senti but i heart weddings. it was my first family one & first as a bridesmaid.
Yet another mirror selfie: Mari in a floor length gold dress with bows at the shoulders, full face of makeup, and newish forearm tattoo
June 30, 2025 at 2:57 PM
meaningruiner.bsky.social
i've been sa pilipinas
Neon pink, green, purple, blue, bi colored bunches of flowers for 50 pesos
June 26, 2025 at 9:06 AM
meaningruiner.bsky.social
friday the thirteenth, feeling like
Original poem, "repotting" like a stratigraphic excavation like a well-pulled knock box like a correcting like a renovation like a sensory tray like a graverobbing like a wash day detangling like a reunion like a surgery
June 13, 2025 at 2:59 PM
meaningruiner.bsky.social
that's another april in the books
Geometric pink cover of "Soft Science" by poet Franny Choi, laid against vibrant green grass
May 4, 2025 at 4:59 PM
meaningruiner.bsky.social
@earthtokb.bsky.social inspired the title for one of this month's poems! 🪷 by lil ole me
"Every gas pump in America is out of receipt paper" title inspired by a post KB Brookins made I prefer to pump my own gas. Fill up on sweet-smelling disaster with my hand around the nozzle's neck. Every time someone does it for me I lose something that's mine. That never gets replaced like the receipt paper. Pink gloves I've had for over a decade at the cost of the one umbrella I had managed not to lose. Sloping up the Sunoco, I get a pond view. I want to be the one to fuel anything that can kill me. What's more to lose than a life.
April 17, 2025 at 12:06 AM
meaningruiner.bsky.social
the excerpt over the weekend in my planner felt especially resonant, on account of maria lorena barros
Page of a planner taken at an angle on dark wood. It captures a weekend in April 2025. The footnote is an excerpt from the poem "Strike" (1969) by Maria Lorena Barros
April 9, 2025 at 10:16 PM
meaningruiner.bsky.social
what i call congee "gargoyleing" because he will sit really still there and just stare at you
Black devon rex cat on top of a single speaker in an all-black record player setup
April 2, 2025 at 7:35 PM
meaningruiner.bsky.social
when the conjuring was just a baby bat
March 20, 2025 at 11:09 PM
meaningruiner.bsky.social
day 13: about a besieged moon experience
Original poem "Factory Reset" How one goes about cleaning house, for traumatized dumbasses: I break out and out in fights across my skin. A whole landscape of little volcanoes. I get my blood drawn to test for sprites and it slurps right up, excited. I sway from the rush. Body force quits. The people at the gay sex clinic are probably thinking my blood is so slutty. Something in me cries and cries. (Not because of my blood, but because I wear resentment like a glove.) Volcanoes up, then siphons off. And when the monthly demon doesn't come, I realize I've never loved what flows from me so much. My body holds onto my blood this time.
March 20, 2025 at 2:35 AM
meaningruiner.bsky.social
finally went to see swan lake, i have a history with it being what returned me to ballet as a teen and your boi cried
Mari in monochrome white stands in a decorative bathroom, salmon and brown marble behind him. He is wearing white pearls with a silver knot of barbed wire at his throat, white false lashes, and a fuzzy white crossbody bag slung across one shoulder. A double-paneled changing screen showing a landscape with warm tones
March 16, 2025 at 9:16 PM
meaningruiner.bsky.social
day 12: with that void of course moon

read it in full at @the-engine-idling.bsky.social!

static1.squarespace.com/static/650c3...
Quote from my original poem "11:56pm, eatery" that got nominated for the Pushcart 🥺 Read it in full and get full at the link, in engine (idling's Issue 3: "...by the dim light of the dash" "There is enough world to go around several times, so much to be savored, a moon-slice to save a seat for. And it's quiet. Like an adoration is quiet." 🌘 The excerpt is laid over an image of a dark purple sky cut across with 3 diagonal electrical lines. A dark pink box is circling it punctuated by my full name & the poem's title, a thinnnnn crescent moon sitting underneath.
March 16, 2025 at 12:52 PM
meaningruiner.bsky.social
day 11: that describes the sign you have inexplicable beef with

jupiter's children.

sampaguitapress.com/wp-content/u...
Original poem, the first I got published! One I'm very proud of. Thanks to Marias at Sampaguitas 🌺 No thanks to Jupiter suns. Here is "hairratives (reprise)"
March 16, 2025 at 12:26 PM
meaningruiner.bsky.social
this guy eats rice
Taken from above, a black cat with yellow eyes and big ears stares up past the camera. A blush colored chair and dull brown hoodie sleeve take up much of the frame.
March 3, 2025 at 2:06 PM
meaningruiner.bsky.social
if you liked flow, you'll like congee who is the cat if he didn't stand a chance in the wild
Bathroom mirror selfie of Mari cropped out, black devon rex Congee "The Conjuring" perceiving his reflection, ears slightly back
March 2, 2025 at 2:35 PM
meaningruiner.bsky.social
day 8: for your saturn placement

saturn in aries 6H ouch owww owwie
Original poem literally just listing out new & recurring ailments and maladies
February 18, 2025 at 12:35 AM
meaningruiner.bsky.social
day 7: for your jupiter placement

jupiter in pisces 4H; i would practice film photography more if not for forced migration. my family is very far away but they are the best photos i take. my absolutely favorite subject.

🎞️ fujifilm 400
Triple exposure in the Philippines by me, taken in 2016 with a Canon FTB, 35mm. Overlapping photos of a breakfast spread with decorative tablecloth and plate of pancit canton, a yellow mug of instant coffee paired with a red saucer; a clear, blue sky of palm trees; the lush green of hanging plants against warm-colored blinds from the inside of a restaurant in Makati. Original poem, "Alis na kami" Maybe if I say "I'll see you soon" enough, then I will see you soon. Maybe not. But I'll keep saying it because I like it better than "Take care" or "We'll miss you" or "Be safe." Even ten tattoos and a whole life later, I still look the same. My mother saw that you were crying. She said she's never seen her older brother cry. Next time, I'll be able to talk to you. I swear it. Secretly, I hope my mother tells you I cried on the car ride home. I've never been good at feeling like I'm home. Lola is usually quiet, but instead of tired when we get home, she is lively. Secretly, I'm glad I was the one to cry if I let out the sadness for all of us. It's no secret I want them to go back home. It's no secret I loved being with you. I'll see you soon. Don't miss me too much.
February 17, 2025 at 9:24 PM
meaningruiner.bsky.social
when i say go birds this is who i mean
Luzon bleeding heart dove. He is Filipino
February 14, 2025 at 6:50 PM
meaningruiner.bsky.social
day 6: for your mars placement

mars in gemini 7H. i wrote this after last mars retrograde when i was in a mars year. happy valentine's day lovers 🫀 and haters, since this is my mercury-mars conjunction in a poem
Original poem titled "Poem Written Moments After Ruin" Now this is tough love. A year for Mars & a heart. The accidental blush between us, the red dark. You and I, we get endings or nerve or nerve endings, harsh like saltwater. But exacting in its accidental. I've got scars to show for it. My hands bleed in the winter and it takes me a while to notice. Add in salt to injury, then call it accidental how this desert life happens. Energy enemy. Punk planetary prince of no peace. With heart in my mouth & an axe, I dent all the words as they run out. Fucking butcher them. I pity the fool who has to pay for damages when you make an accidental promise. I make eyes in the mirror so it lays me to waste. My heart a dried fish. In your mouth. Nothing we said was accidental enough to save our skin. It's all the reasons there are to blush.
February 14, 2025 at 3:30 PM
meaningruiner.bsky.social
your boi is admittedly still reeling from the superbowl win, what a perfect night.
Four Filipino friends pose with big smiles for a selfie! One of them is wearing a pink bucket hat that reads "EAGLES, GO BIRDS" in kelly green. Chaotic bereal of five people posing on a street in South Philly. Passerby blur past in the back, Eagles jerseys in movement.
February 13, 2025 at 1:59 AM
meaningruiner.bsky.social
congee says, GO BIRDS
A black devon rex, with shades of dark brown in his fur, lounges on a dark green duvet facing the right
February 10, 2025 at 10:30 PM
meaningruiner.bsky.social
day 5: for your sun placement

sun in gemini 7H, a sensual one
Original poem, "the sexual tension between this shirt and the sun" is a doozy. makes a disco on my lover's skin. understands exactly how much has been lost to the heat. envies the lizards. could light your cigarette, if the angle's right. knows it can get it on the third try. shapes your insides like wet clay, gingerly wanting its way with you, has a wicked way of making you desire dark the coolness of swimming at night.
February 8, 2025 at 7:22 PM
meaningruiner.bsky.social
day 3: for your moon placement

moon in libra 12H 🪩 i share this placement with emily dickinson. very haunted doll, black swan
Original poem titled "a thing with many heads" My snake hasn't eaten for months. / This is normal. / He does it every year, loses / interest, sleeps and sleeps until / spring. It doesn't scare me / anymore, only weirding me out / when the time comes to try / and feed him again. No thanks, not / ready yet. Another loss comes / to my attention. I change / the water. They were like me / in many ways. Me, a crushed / can of something unrecognizable, waiting / for the water to warm. I wait / and every time I think / I crave something frozen. I can't / remember. All I know is this snake / hasn't eaten for months and needs to / eat again.
February 8, 2025 at 1:15 AM
meaningruiner.bsky.social
day 2: for your mercury placement

mercury in gemini 7H
Original poem "Let's say I take the El, heading" after Kathleen Hellen, in print on a dark green background. Published in the Green issue of Colors: The Magazine
February 6, 2025 at 4:11 AM
meaningruiner.bsky.social
day 1: for the sign/decan of your ascendant

scorpio II
Original poem "Tanaga For My Dead" because my ancestors are with me <3
February 6, 2025 at 3:56 AM