Steven Christopher McKnight
@mcknights.bsky.social
Theatre researcher, English teacher, freelance writer living an hour south of Prague.
Men are always like, "I wanna fuck you so bad," but, like, why would you want to fuck bad? Wouldn't you want to fuck her well?
December 9, 2025 at 5:00 PM
Men are always like, "I wanna fuck you so bad," but, like, why would you want to fuck bad? Wouldn't you want to fuck her well?
Why am I still following my best friend's shithead ex? Does he even know I'm still there?
November 16, 2025 at 9:48 AM
Why am I still following my best friend's shithead ex? Does he even know I'm still there?
My long-term dating goals are to become marginally funny enough to be a permanent cast member on SNL, become close with one of the weekly guest stars, and then eventually marry her. You know, like what Colin Jost did.
October 17, 2025 at 10:35 PM
My long-term dating goals are to become marginally funny enough to be a permanent cast member on SNL, become close with one of the weekly guest stars, and then eventually marry her. You know, like what Colin Jost did.
The toxic masculinity calls out to me like Gollum speaking to Smeagol whenever I see a grown man in public listening to Ed Sheeran.
October 16, 2025 at 3:53 AM
The toxic masculinity calls out to me like Gollum speaking to Smeagol whenever I see a grown man in public listening to Ed Sheeran.
A Swiftie friend just posted on FB saying "Taylor Swift haters have as much cognitive dissonance as MAGA," and then said they claimed Swifties were cultists who couldn't take criticism. Like, who just likened people who don't like Taylor Swift to literal Nazis, homie?
October 16, 2025 at 2:19 AM
A Swiftie friend just posted on FB saying "Taylor Swift haters have as much cognitive dissonance as MAGA," and then said they claimed Swifties were cultists who couldn't take criticism. Like, who just likened people who don't like Taylor Swift to literal Nazis, homie?
Me: -sends FB friend request to literally my brother's wife-
FB: Hmmmmmm, looks like you might not know this person :)))))))
Me: -sends FB friend request to rando with zero mutuals because she liked a meme I posted-
FB: Looks good, chief.
FB: Hmmmmmm, looks like you might not know this person :)))))))
Me: -sends FB friend request to rando with zero mutuals because she liked a meme I posted-
FB: Looks good, chief.
October 11, 2025 at 7:37 PM
Me: -sends FB friend request to literally my brother's wife-
FB: Hmmmmmm, looks like you might not know this person :)))))))
Me: -sends FB friend request to rando with zero mutuals because she liked a meme I posted-
FB: Looks good, chief.
FB: Hmmmmmm, looks like you might not know this person :)))))))
Me: -sends FB friend request to rando with zero mutuals because she liked a meme I posted-
FB: Looks good, chief.
Would be cool if someone fell deeply and irrevocably in love with me, but no pressure
September 17, 2025 at 5:04 PM
Would be cool if someone fell deeply and irrevocably in love with me, but no pressure
Remember, guys, anyone showing sympathy for Kirk is sympathizing for a Nazi and is therefore, by definition, a Nazi sympathizer.
September 15, 2025 at 2:56 AM
Remember, guys, anyone showing sympathy for Kirk is sympathizing for a Nazi and is therefore, by definition, a Nazi sympathizer.
"What are your fantasies, Steven?"
"So she's the heiress to an ill-begotten railway empire, and I'm a smooth-talking hobo who would be more charming if I bathed every now and again, and-"
"So she's the heiress to an ill-begotten railway empire, and I'm a smooth-talking hobo who would be more charming if I bathed every now and again, and-"
September 10, 2025 at 4:20 AM
"What are your fantasies, Steven?"
"So she's the heiress to an ill-begotten railway empire, and I'm a smooth-talking hobo who would be more charming if I bathed every now and again, and-"
"So she's the heiress to an ill-begotten railway empire, and I'm a smooth-talking hobo who would be more charming if I bathed every now and again, and-"
Every time I see a beautiful woman with wavy hair, I remember ramen noodles and then I fall in love.
September 7, 2025 at 10:32 AM
Every time I see a beautiful woman with wavy hair, I remember ramen noodles and then I fall in love.
Sex ed was wrong and useless. I put a condom on a banana, and my girlfriend still got pregnant.
September 5, 2025 at 12:02 PM
Sex ed was wrong and useless. I put a condom on a banana, and my girlfriend still got pregnant.
If Ed Sheeran has a million enemies, I am one of them. If Ed Sheeran has one enemy, it is me. If Ed Sheeran has no enemies, I am dead.
September 2, 2025 at 7:56 AM
If Ed Sheeran has a million enemies, I am one of them. If Ed Sheeran has one enemy, it is me. If Ed Sheeran has no enemies, I am dead.
Commissioning my ex to crochet a birthday present for a friend I have a crush on because she lives in the States and can ship domestically. I swear, whoever I settle down with is going to have so many hilarious stories to tell our families about all my kooky schemes.
September 1, 2025 at 4:22 PM
Commissioning my ex to crochet a birthday present for a friend I have a crush on because she lives in the States and can ship domestically. I swear, whoever I settle down with is going to have so many hilarious stories to tell our families about all my kooky schemes.
Florence + The Machine are playing in Prague in March, but I'm a straight guy and can't go without a lesbian chaperone.
August 31, 2025 at 11:25 PM
Florence + The Machine are playing in Prague in March, but I'm a straight guy and can't go without a lesbian chaperone.
YouTube Music keeps autoplaying "Rainbow Connection" as performed by Kermit the Frog. This is the opposite of a problem.
August 31, 2025 at 3:37 AM
YouTube Music keeps autoplaying "Rainbow Connection" as performed by Kermit the Frog. This is the opposite of a problem.
I'm a big enough man to admit that Jurassic World Rebirth was actually really, really good.
New Jurassic World trailer dropped, and I am so mad. Why am I so mad about this? It's absurd how mad I am about this.
August 30, 2025 at 9:42 PM
I'm a big enough man to admit that Jurassic World Rebirth was actually really, really good.
No hits yet on my new Tinder bio. Tell me I'm doing a good job, @samreich.bsky.social
August 30, 2025 at 9:41 PM
No hits yet on my new Tinder bio. Tell me I'm doing a good job, @samreich.bsky.social
The egirl I befriended who made it a huge event on her OnlyFans when she put a cucumber in her ass five years ago just had her first child and I couldn't be happier for her.
August 30, 2025 at 8:31 AM
The egirl I befriended who made it a huge event on her OnlyFans when she put a cucumber in her ass five years ago just had her first child and I couldn't be happier for her.
Monterrey Jack sounds like the name of your dad's college friend who has a motorcycle and seven toes.
August 28, 2025 at 10:07 AM
Monterrey Jack sounds like the name of your dad's college friend who has a motorcycle and seven toes.
Women are like restaurants. Sometimes they are Vietnamese.
August 17, 2025 at 12:07 AM
Women are like restaurants. Sometimes they are Vietnamese.
Okay, I know I've neglected this platform for a while, but I just gave the link to this profile to a baddie from improv class, so everyone just act like I'm cool.
August 16, 2025 at 6:29 PM
Okay, I know I've neglected this platform for a while, but I just gave the link to this profile to a baddie from improv class, so everyone just act like I'm cool.
If I ever met @johnfetterman.com, I would ask him what it's like being a fascist shill and a class traitor.
February 6, 2025 at 4:28 AM
If I ever met @johnfetterman.com, I would ask him what it's like being a fascist shill and a class traitor.
Remember that AirBnB is a destabilizing agent through which housing is stolen from locals in a given community and rented to rich tourists for a profit to people who often don't even live in that community. Never use AirBnB.
February 6, 2025 at 4:28 AM
Remember that AirBnB is a destabilizing agent through which housing is stolen from locals in a given community and rented to rich tourists for a profit to people who often don't even live in that community. Never use AirBnB.
New Jurassic World trailer dropped, and I am so mad. Why am I so mad about this? It's absurd how mad I am about this.
February 6, 2025 at 4:14 AM
New Jurassic World trailer dropped, and I am so mad. Why am I so mad about this? It's absurd how mad I am about this.
The first piece of lauan I cut for a Stagecraft class is somewhere in storage. It used to be a decoration in my freshman dorm.
I drew a frowny face on it, and whenever anyone asked what it was, I told them, "Pardon my mourning wood."
I drew a frowny face on it, and whenever anyone asked what it was, I told them, "Pardon my mourning wood."
February 6, 2025 at 2:16 AM
The first piece of lauan I cut for a Stagecraft class is somewhere in storage. It used to be a decoration in my freshman dorm.
I drew a frowny face on it, and whenever anyone asked what it was, I told them, "Pardon my mourning wood."
I drew a frowny face on it, and whenever anyone asked what it was, I told them, "Pardon my mourning wood."