This is some clean ass keyart.

My image of myself: Every time I'm pushing a cart in Giant.

Damn. Halloween has gotten too slutty.

I love when important brands find each other, and we all benefit.

Great. Now my son is vaping Legos.

Imagine this: Tomorrow is in fact the Rapture, and all of the Neo-Ding-Dong-Christian-Nationalists are all taken up to heaven.

And we are all "Left Behind".

Sounds like a real win win.

Less people at that new Paul Thomas Anderson flick on Friday.

Shout to everyone who says goodbye to their cars at the airport.

Fishmonger is a cool title to have, right? Fun word. Steal this. You shoot 3’s all day in the NBA, but you look like you could work at Medieval Times…. Swishmonger.
It’s yours. Have it.

If someone raises their eyebrow and hits you with a "nowadays…". Brace yourself.

I spent a bit too much time browsing electric scissors for cutting cardboard on the TikTok shop, and now every single ad is relentlessly promoting the idea that our country is facing a cardboard epidemic. They claim that electric scissors are the only solution to this modern tragedy.

I'd probably be good at Devil Sticks now. Now that I'm older.

Macho Man > YMCA. #jimmycarteramericanhero

Nothing is funnier then the "Better Times" banner on TMZ. Would make for a great theme on a Christmas Card before an upcoming tradgity.

I would have loved to own a successful pizzel shop and have a sign that said "Pizzold Out". Everyone would get a kick out of it.

I always make sure to brush my teeth before I have a dentist appointment. I always expect them to notice… and thank me… once they get in there.

But they never do.

Tight look playa… sorry for your loss.

I install lots of apps, tools, and plugins, but I have no idea how this Mobbed-Up Dell got on my machine. #pc