And honestly its just draining, idek what im really ranting about im just so tired & I had a bad switch with an alter today (idk if theres necessarily good switches but there sure are BAD ones) & I just ugh

Im also a very small system theres only (counting me) about 5 of us rn I think, & normally only 2 others ever front frequently, but sometimes idk usually when I cant remember anything at ALL like not even the fuzz/haze for it that means its either a new alter or 1 who refuses to introduce themselves

And does anyone else know how fucking scary it is to one minute be having a panic attack, the next youre blacking out & when you wake up its been multiple hours or even the next day & you can tell stuff has been done but you dont have the memory of it, or occasionally its just very fuzzy memories

I dont feel like I switch with any alters enough to like complain really & sometimes I look at my past & think the trauma i have isn't severe enough for this condition but here we are.. anyways usually switches for me happen when im under extreme stress, whether its physical, mental, or emotional

Ex: Idia's hair while looking fiery is barely warm most of the time, unless he's getting heated (pun intended) over & game which causes his hair to become orange/red & becomes hotter in temperature. Which is also the opposite of how flames usually are, bc blue flames are hotter than red!!