Be safe, have fun. This is the internet, not a battle royale. Don’t be toxic and remember to eat a yummy snack, drink some water, and get some sunshine on your skin this week. Kiss your pets on the head, hug and tell your family you love them. Life is short, enjoy it to the fullest while you can. ❤️‍🩹

After I post this I am logging out of this account. I only hope this serves as a reminder to grow through your trauma and pain. Do not let it define you, it is miserable.
If the suffering I have endured can be a lesson for others, I’m glad that it can be inspiration to lead a healthier life.

This is my closure. I do not need anyone else’s influence to give myself the peace of mind I deserve. I refuse to let anyone break me down again. I am so much stronger than you think I am, I have proven it to myself again and again. That’s all I need. My own approval. I do not crave your approval.

I do not want your pity.
I only write this to serve as a reminder that the internet is brutal, visceral. Reality is just the same. It’s why most of us escape to the internet but it’s not much different. But we are all human after all. Maybe it just speaks to the brutality of mankind as a whole…

They sting sometimes, but it’s bittersweet now.
I refuse to let anyone change anything about myself now.
I am steadfast in my identity and my sense of self.
I am the budding, flowering sprout after a devastating forest fire.

I realized I lost all sense of myself and I was on the way to losing my family if I didn’t do at least something.
It started small, but eventually I started sewing and mending all the broken pieces of myself together.
I am entirely new, but the stitches and scars still remain as painful reminders.

At first I didn’t want to fight back and start moving my own limbs to support myself. It felt impossible with the little to no motivation I was experiencing every day.
The interventions my family did with me never worked before.
However, through it all I ultimately wanted to stop feeling so broken.

There’s a few people I keep close to me, who have supported me through the ultimate lows of severe depression and addiction.
I treasure them dearly, they are my family.
My family was pulling me towards the shoreline where I could stand or start swimming again without sinking and drowning.

It left me in a very dark place, ashamed of how hideous I had become.
I couldn’t stand looking at myself in the mirror, looking down at my body.
I couldn’t eat, I felt I didn’t deserve to.
I couldn’t enjoy the same hobbies I used to.
I stopped taking care of myself, broken and stuck in a stasis.

I have grown tired of being seen as a trophy to people, something for people to conquer.
It fucked with my head.
It messed me up so much.
I reached my lowest, wishing I could go to sleep and never wake up.
Numbing the pain with cheap highs, chasing it until I couldn’t feel that same high before.