Matt Shean
@mattsheanwrites.bsky.social
SF&F author in IGMS, StarShipSofa, and Lazarus Risen. Odyssey 2016, Codex, BSFW. Molecular Bio PhD; Genetics Prof; STWing; Erdös-Bacon-Sabbath#: 9. I like pie, but tau > pi. he/him
In keeping with annual tradition, today I brought in a guest lecturer for my Genetics class. My students were very excited to welcome Princess Ariel to come talk about RNA modification and intron splicing today.
October 31, 2025 at 5:12 PM
In keeping with annual tradition, today I brought in a guest lecturer for my Genetics class. My students were very excited to welcome Princess Ariel to come talk about RNA modification and intron splicing today.
You will dread the onset of Fall, and lament the long, fruitless Winters of discontent. Days will stretch into endless unbroken dreams of that taste of life, of God, on your tongue. You will crave baptism in the thin purplish-brown holy water of mingled fruit juices. Enjoy!
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July 29, 2025 at 2:49 PM
You will dread the onset of Fall, and lament the long, fruitless Winters of discontent. Days will stretch into endless unbroken dreams of that taste of life, of God, on your tongue. You will crave baptism in the thin purplish-brown holy water of mingled fruit juices. Enjoy!
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But trust me, it’s worth it. A fruit salad fresh off the cutting board is delicious, but immature. Let it sit, let it chill.
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July 29, 2025 at 2:49 PM
But trust me, it’s worth it. A fruit salad fresh off the cutting board is delicious, but immature. Let it sit, let it chill.
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Kiwis – Peel them, trim off the ends, and then slice 'em once from pole to pole, along their long axis. Lay 'em out in parallel, then cut across each half like latitude lines. Then a single perpendicular cut from north to south. Lay them with the bananas.
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July 29, 2025 at 2:49 PM
Kiwis – Peel them, trim off the ends, and then slice 'em once from pole to pole, along their long axis. Lay 'em out in parallel, then cut across each half like latitude lines. Then a single perpendicular cut from north to south. Lay them with the bananas.
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The Squishies
At this point, toss your salad well, my pretties. From here on out, it's all gentle caresses, no rough stuff. Peel your bananas and kiwis. Slice the bananas into rings, leave them on the cutting board.
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At this point, toss your salad well, my pretties. From here on out, it's all gentle caresses, no rough stuff. Peel your bananas and kiwis. Slice the bananas into rings, leave them on the cutting board.
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July 29, 2025 at 2:49 PM
The Squishies
At this point, toss your salad well, my pretties. From here on out, it's all gentle caresses, no rough stuff. Peel your bananas and kiwis. Slice the bananas into rings, leave them on the cutting board.
56/
At this point, toss your salad well, my pretties. From here on out, it's all gentle caresses, no rough stuff. Peel your bananas and kiwis. Slice the bananas into rings, leave them on the cutting board.
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Slice the ring in half, height-wise, so you have 2 thinner rings on top of each other. Not it's a simple few grid cuts, and you've got small watermelon cubes, to mingle w your honeydew balls. Yeah, you heard me. You can cut these as big as the grapes if you choose. Toss it in the bowl.
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July 29, 2025 at 2:49 PM
Slice the ring in half, height-wise, so you have 2 thinner rings on top of each other. Not it's a simple few grid cuts, and you've got small watermelon cubes, to mingle w your honeydew balls. Yeah, you heard me. You can cut these as big as the grapes if you choose. Toss it in the bowl.
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Cut a 3rd out of your honeydew, and cut your cantaloupe in half. Dig out the seeds w/ a spoon. Grab your melon baller, and ball those fuckers right into the bowl. Down to the rind. No baller? Warm up that hand, baby, bec you're in dicing town again! Remove the rind 1st tho.
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July 29, 2025 at 2:49 PM
Cut a 3rd out of your honeydew, and cut your cantaloupe in half. Dig out the seeds w/ a spoon. Grab your melon baller, and ball those fuckers right into the bowl. Down to the rind. No baller? Warm up that hand, baby, bec you're in dicing town again! Remove the rind 1st tho.
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Stand them on their head, and slice them along the long axis into a couple thin strips. Lay the strips out in 2 piles, middle of the fruit down. Dice em. I go 1/4" x 1/2". Add them to the salad and stir.
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July 29, 2025 at 2:49 PM
Stand them on their head, and slice them along the long axis into a couple thin strips. Lay the strips out in 2 piles, middle of the fruit down. Dice em. I go 1/4" x 1/2". Add them to the salad and stir.
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...a firm intact grape breaks you out of the religious trance that is eating this dish. So, by cutting the in half, we make them more pliable, less oppositional. Do it.
Blueberries? In the bowl. Move on.
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Blueberries? In the bowl. Move on.
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July 29, 2025 at 2:49 PM
...a firm intact grape breaks you out of the religious trance that is eating this dish. So, by cutting the in half, we make them more pliable, less oppositional. Do it.
Blueberries? In the bowl. Move on.
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Blueberries? In the bowl. Move on.
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Here's where your fruit salad is at - Groups 1 and 2 are done. 3 to go.
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July 29, 2025 at 2:49 PM
Here's where your fruit salad is at - Groups 1 and 2 are done. 3 to go.
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Dice your pitted stone fruit the same size as your apple bits. I'm not kidding on this. If they’re very soft, you can leave them larger, maybe ½” on 2 sides. Toss them all into the bowl, give a quick stir, and let’s move on.
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July 29, 2025 at 2:49 PM
Dice your pitted stone fruit the same size as your apple bits. I'm not kidding on this. If they’re very soft, you can leave them larger, maybe ½” on 2 sides. Toss them all into the bowl, give a quick stir, and let’s move on.
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Give 'em a longitude cut all around the globe, and through the seam. Do your best to separate the halves & remove the pit. You may need to dig it, or fragments of it it they're really ripe, out. Not gonna lie, I really destroy a lot of peaches at this point.
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July 29, 2025 at 2:49 PM
Give 'em a longitude cut all around the globe, and through the seam. Do your best to separate the halves & remove the pit. You may need to dig it, or fragments of it it they're really ripe, out. Not gonna lie, I really destroy a lot of peaches at this point.
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Throw all the segments into your bowl, and toss in the raisins too. Give it a couple passes with a spoon to stir. In my misguided youth, I'd been known to thrown in dried cranberries at this step. Learn from my errors, and just don't.
Here's what your incipient fruit salad looks like so far:
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Here's what your incipient fruit salad looks like so far:
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July 29, 2025 at 2:49 PM
Throw all the segments into your bowl, and toss in the raisins too. Give it a couple passes with a spoon to stir. In my misguided youth, I'd been known to thrown in dried cranberries at this step. Learn from my errors, and just don't.
Here's what your incipient fruit salad looks like so far:
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Here's what your incipient fruit salad looks like so far:
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That's 1 wedge done. Do the same for the rest of the apple, and then the pear. Don't start whining and whimping out on me now. We've got a long way to go, and there's no turning back.
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July 29, 2025 at 2:49 PM
That's 1 wedge done. Do the same for the rest of the apple, and then the pear. Don't start whining and whimping out on me now. We've got a long way to go, and there's no turning back.
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Next, lay those 3 slices (still in shape as 1 wedge) on their side. Cut twice along the long side of the wedge, evenly spaced between core and skin. Finally, turn the knife 90* and give it 5 cuts from core-to-skin, evenly spaced between the North and South Poles.
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July 29, 2025 at 2:49 PM
Next, lay those 3 slices (still in shape as 1 wedge) on their side. Cut twice along the long side of the wedge, evenly spaced between core and skin. Finally, turn the knife 90* and give it 5 cuts from core-to-skin, evenly spaced between the North and South Poles.
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Hold it with core-side down, skin up. Slice the wedge into 3 narrower wedges, from skin to core like a longitude line, and leave the slices side-by-side. At this point, you're thinking that I've gone completely batshit. 3 slices? That's too fucking narrow. The pieces are too thin!
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July 29, 2025 at 2:49 PM
Hold it with core-side down, skin up. Slice the wedge into 3 narrower wedges, from skin to core like a longitude line, and leave the slices side-by-side. At this point, you're thinking that I've gone completely batshit. 3 slices? That's too fucking narrow. The pieces are too thin!
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We’re going to start by cutting the apple into 8 wedges. If your apple were a globe, the stem comes out of the North Pole. Make 4 cuts through the Poles, leaving wedges. Nip out the seeds and the tough bits of core w/ a knife, leaving most of the apple in place.
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July 29, 2025 at 2:49 PM
We’re going to start by cutting the apple into 8 wedges. If your apple were a globe, the stem comes out of the North Pole. Make 4 cuts through the Poles, leaving wedges. Nip out the seeds and the tough bits of core w/ a knife, leaving most of the apple in place.
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You ready to learn how to make the best fruit salad you’ll ever eat? Good. Go buy fruit. Get it ripe, get it fresh. This isn't going to be cheap. Avoid bruises, or get bruised fruit and cut around the bad spots, your call. Wash it before use.
Here’s your shopping list (for a medium-large salad)
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Here’s your shopping list (for a medium-large salad)
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July 29, 2025 at 2:49 PM
You ready to learn how to make the best fruit salad you’ll ever eat? Good. Go buy fruit. Get it ripe, get it fresh. This isn't going to be cheap. Avoid bruises, or get bruised fruit and cut around the bad spots, your call. Wash it before use.
Here’s your shopping list (for a medium-large salad)
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Here’s your shopping list (for a medium-large salad)
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Before I get into the how-to, I’m going to blather on about whys and wherefores for about 25 replies. So, to whet your appetite, here’s a photo of the finished product. Stay tuned or jump to the end to find out how to make it.
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July 29, 2025 at 2:49 PM
Before I get into the how-to, I’m going to blather on about whys and wherefores for about 25 replies. So, to whet your appetite, here’s a photo of the finished product. Stay tuned or jump to the end to find out how to make it.
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Name a TV show you’re positive no one remembers but you.
November 21, 2024 at 1:18 AM
Name a TV show you’re positive no one remembers but you.
Hi, I'm Matt Shean. You may remember me from such social media or message boards as the bird place, Codex, or the original Deep Magic (ca 2006).
I've been mostly quiet other than retweeting political stuff on the bird site. But thats out of my system now.
I'm here now. Feel free to say "hi!"
I've been mostly quiet other than retweeting political stuff on the bird site. But thats out of my system now.
I'm here now. Feel free to say "hi!"
November 20, 2024 at 7:21 PM
Hi, I'm Matt Shean. You may remember me from such social media or message boards as the bird place, Codex, or the original Deep Magic (ca 2006).
I've been mostly quiet other than retweeting political stuff on the bird site. But thats out of my system now.
I'm here now. Feel free to say "hi!"
I've been mostly quiet other than retweeting political stuff on the bird site. But thats out of my system now.
I'm here now. Feel free to say "hi!"