@mattnunnmattnunn.bsky.social
Brisbane. Sketch and stand-up. Please
Bisexuality is what happens when straight people forget to say "no homo" when they masturbate. That's why so many people with ADHD are bi. Fuckin forget every time.
December 13, 2025 at 7:42 AM
Bisexuality is what happens when straight people forget to say "no homo" when they masturbate. That's why so many people with ADHD are bi. Fuckin forget every time.
You're in his DMs. I'm in his DMs. All 3 of us are in a group chat. We may not be the same but we are friends.
October 8, 2025 at 10:00 AM
You're in his DMs. I'm in his DMs. All 3 of us are in a group chat. We may not be the same but we are friends.
From the creator of "I have no mouth and I must scream" comes a new even scarier story, "I got a mouth and I am screamin'!"
June 17, 2025 at 11:05 AM
From the creator of "I have no mouth and I must scream" comes a new even scarier story, "I got a mouth and I am screamin'!"
Remembering acts of cringe I committed as a teenager and young adult used to keep me up at night. Now I just consider if it was something an autistic person would have done and if the answer is Yes it becomes a funny memory. That's probably the best part of getting diagnosed.
April 2, 2025 at 1:01 AM
Remembering acts of cringe I committed as a teenager and young adult used to keep me up at night. Now I just consider if it was something an autistic person would have done and if the answer is Yes it becomes a funny memory. That's probably the best part of getting diagnosed.
(watching Aragorn kick the helmet)
Me: That scream is real. Peter Jackson really killed 2 of Viggo Mortensen's friends for this scene.
Me: That scream is real. Peter Jackson really killed 2 of Viggo Mortensen's friends for this scene.
February 25, 2025 at 9:48 AM
(watching Aragorn kick the helmet)
Me: That scream is real. Peter Jackson really killed 2 of Viggo Mortensen's friends for this scene.
Me: That scream is real. Peter Jackson really killed 2 of Viggo Mortensen's friends for this scene.
I am active in my community (I'm standing in front of my house, yelling all the mailbox numbers I can see)
February 21, 2025 at 10:23 PM
I am active in my community (I'm standing in front of my house, yelling all the mailbox numbers I can see)
Weaponizing my incompetence? I wouldn't even know where to start! Can you just do it for me 🥺
February 15, 2025 at 3:00 AM
Weaponizing my incompetence? I wouldn't even know where to start! Can you just do it for me 🥺
Can use candle wax instead of welding?
February 7, 2025 at 12:37 PM
Can use candle wax instead of welding?
If you say "Skip" enough times the bridge troll will stop doing riddles 3 and just give you a CAPTCHA.
February 5, 2025 at 11:06 AM
If you say "Skip" enough times the bridge troll will stop doing riddles 3 and just give you a CAPTCHA.
If I was building the tower of Babel I probably would have made sure everyone was clear on the design plan before we started building. Then if we all lost the ability to communicate with each other we'd still be able to stack bricks without much hassle. It's a tower, dude. You just go up.
February 2, 2025 at 1:33 AM
If I was building the tower of Babel I probably would have made sure everyone was clear on the design plan before we started building. Then if we all lost the ability to communicate with each other we'd still be able to stack bricks without much hassle. It's a tower, dude. You just go up.
Kinda wish the Illuminati was real right now tbh
January 29, 2025 at 12:22 AM
Kinda wish the Illuminati was real right now tbh
Words I live by:
Breathe though a wet rag or towel
Get down low and go go go
Roll on the ground
Call for help
Breathe though a wet rag or towel
Get down low and go go go
Roll on the ground
Call for help
January 28, 2025 at 7:54 AM
Words I live by:
Breathe though a wet rag or towel
Get down low and go go go
Roll on the ground
Call for help
Breathe though a wet rag or towel
Get down low and go go go
Roll on the ground
Call for help
"I'm on the seafood diet."
- man on raft lost at sea
- man on raft lost at sea
January 16, 2025 at 10:51 AM
"I'm on the seafood diet."
- man on raft lost at sea
- man on raft lost at sea
"get home safe :)"
(derogatory)
(derogatory)
January 13, 2025 at 1:49 AM
"get home safe :)"
(derogatory)
(derogatory)
Been working on an affordable alternative to build a bear. It's called build a hair. You get a bag of loose hair, a bottle of glue, and 1 hour. What you take home is up to you.
January 5, 2025 at 1:48 PM
Been working on an affordable alternative to build a bear. It's called build a hair. You get a bag of loose hair, a bottle of glue, and 1 hour. What you take home is up to you.
I don't like the idea of traveling a broad. Seems like it would be much safer to travel a fella.
January 3, 2025 at 12:22 PM
I don't like the idea of traveling a broad. Seems like it would be much safer to travel a fella.
Girlfriend just took a pregnancy test, anyone know how long before she pees it out?
January 2, 2025 at 1:38 AM
Girlfriend just took a pregnancy test, anyone know how long before she pees it out?
Last year I bought a pack of 10 calendars because it was cheaper than buying one every year. Little things like this really add up 😁💰💲
January 1, 2025 at 11:26 PM
Last year I bought a pack of 10 calendars because it was cheaper than buying one every year. Little things like this really add up 😁💰💲
Reposted
i fucking hate the orbs so much. wish theyd fucking go away. i wish theyd go away & let our elected officials conduct Statesmanship in peace
December 17, 2024 at 2:00 AM
i fucking hate the orbs so much. wish theyd fucking go away. i wish theyd go away & let our elected officials conduct Statesmanship in peace
Tonight I stayed home and exercised instead of going out. This is how I stay disciplined:
1. Everyone I messaged is at their work Christmas party
2. I have no money
3. I am getting high and watching anime with my dog now
We all have the same 24 hours 💪
1. Everyone I messaged is at their work Christmas party
2. I have no money
3. I am getting high and watching anime with my dog now
We all have the same 24 hours 💪
December 6, 2024 at 10:34 AM
Tonight I stayed home and exercised instead of going out. This is how I stay disciplined:
1. Everyone I messaged is at their work Christmas party
2. I have no money
3. I am getting high and watching anime with my dog now
We all have the same 24 hours 💪
1. Everyone I messaged is at their work Christmas party
2. I have no money
3. I am getting high and watching anime with my dog now
We all have the same 24 hours 💪
The masking-est thing I do is use the laugh react.
November 28, 2024 at 8:25 AM
The masking-est thing I do is use the laugh react.
Dude at the Central station Maccas upset that they haven't made his "4 patty no bun quarter pounder" because they assumed it was a joke. I love the sunshine state.
November 25, 2024 at 11:31 AM
Dude at the Central station Maccas upset that they haven't made his "4 patty no bun quarter pounder" because they assumed it was a joke. I love the sunshine state.
Just learned that bouncing my leg when my tummy rumbles has the same effect as a whammy bar. The future is bright.
November 25, 2024 at 12:44 AM
Just learned that bouncing my leg when my tummy rumbles has the same effect as a whammy bar. The future is bright.
Sitting on my hand until it falls asleep so it feels like a stranger is tickling my foot. The halls of my home are filled with "Tehehe"
November 21, 2024 at 10:39 PM
Sitting on my hand until it falls asleep so it feels like a stranger is tickling my foot. The halls of my home are filled with "Tehehe"