Matt Becker
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mattbecker82.bsky.social
Matt Becker
@mattbecker82.bsky.social
37 followers 130 following 92 posts
Lapsed cyclist and occasional piano-botherer. 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿
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mattbecker82.bsky.social
Made a new friend today.
Text conversation between a scammer (S) and me (M). S: Its your eldest and favourite Its your eldest and favourite I'm using this number from now on, switched to o2 because they have better deals. Please save this number and delete my old one. Thanks M: Fran! How did the operation go? Is it sore down there? Tell me, do they let you keep the bits they cut off? S: Could you please do me a favour? M: That's funny, I was going to ask you the same thing. What with your Derek being made partner at his law firm, and your lottery win, I guess you have some spare cash now. Well I have a great investment opportunity for you! You remember Aunt Saffy, whose car you ruined when you got in it after you'd had 17 pina coladas? Well, she's launching a lizard-walking business! M: Turns out when people go on holiday, they need someone to take their iguanas and bearded dragons for a walk and - kerching! Saffy spotted a gap in the market. She's building up a client base (almost got a prospect last week) but needs some upfront cash for a social media campaign. So how about it? You provide 150k now and get a 20% share in the business. They might even let you appear in one of the viral marketing vids. You don't happen to know any reptile-based influencers, do you?
July 31, 2025 at 9:02 AM
mattbecker82.bsky.social
Biggus Diccus from Monty Python’s Life of Brian: Very Well. I shall welease Wodewick!
June 18, 2025 at 6:51 PM
mattbecker82.bsky.social
Who is the best Lord?
Alan Partridge phone-in (Woman) I enjoyed “The Hobbit” more than “Riverdance” … … And I think lots of boys on an island killing a fat boy … … Is not so enjoyable as Gandalf with a long white beard. (Partridge) OK. If you’ve just joined us, we’re talking about who is the best Lord.
June 16, 2025 at 4:21 PM
mattbecker82.bsky.social
How do you know that the angle I have marked alpha is a right-angle?
June 14, 2025 at 4:17 PM
mattbecker82.bsky.social
Booked a time-travel #holiday to Ancient #Rome, so spent a few weeks brushing up on the Classical #Latin I learned in school. For all the good it did me - when I get there it turns out everyone speaks bloody Vulgar Latin! Shoulda gone to #Carthage. #Vah
Ancient Rome travel brochure with Coliseum, gladiators and senators.
June 13, 2025 at 2:44 PM
mattbecker82.bsky.social
Chippy: It looks like a noble character is about to exit the scene. Have you considered making their last two lines a rhyming couplet? Yes / No
April 23, 2025 at 8:15 AM
mattbecker82.bsky.social
Likewise “minhoca” is correctly translated as “Worm”. But the plural “minhocas” gets translated as … “Morms”.
Screenshot Apple Translate app. Input (Portuguese): minhoca Output (English): Worm Screenshot Apple Translate app. Input (Portuguese): minhocas Output (English): Morms
March 31, 2025 at 9:35 PM
mattbecker82.bsky.social
Fun with Machine Translation #AI. Ask the Apple Translate app to translate “esfomeado” from Portuguese and it correctly gives “Starving”. But input the feminine form “esfomeada” and it hallucinates the English translation “Stagry”.
Screenshot Apple Translate app. Input (Portuguese): esfomeado Output (English): Starving Screenshot Apple Translate app. Input (Portuguese): esfomeada Output (English): Stagry
March 31, 2025 at 9:29 PM
mattbecker82.bsky.social
Has anyone watched The Phantom Menace recently? I can’t remember if the guys pursuing aggressive trade policy were the goodies or the baddies. #StarWars #TradeWars
The Trade Federation ambassadors from Star Wars Episode One: The Phantom Menace
February 3, 2025 at 10:52 AM
mattbecker82.bsky.social
That was Chapman Billies with Leave the Street taken from their latest EP, Meet the Drouthy Neebors. And I for one didn’t understand a word which is bloody fantastic if you ask me. #BurnsNight
John Peel at the mixing desk.
January 25, 2025 at 7:20 PM
mattbecker82.bsky.social
A poem for #BurnsNight, with apologies for the bad #Scots.
To A Teacher on being asked by her to read aloud some of Robert Burns' poetry. "Page echt!" ye cry, and wi swith speed Ma sonsie face rins white wi dreid For A'd no be the yin tae read This waefu ditty. Ma skeel o speikin Auld Rab's leid Is awfu shitty. A wunner wham ye'll first espy, An speir gif thay micht want tae try Some verses – "Jist the tap twal, aye?" Ye'll no choose me, That, kiddin on A'm muckle shy, Avydes yer ee. But nou yer finger sterts tae stoop, An maks a wee bit loop-de-loop, Til, pyntit at ma ain wee group, Staps for tae settle. Ma cowrin, tim'rous hert dis droop An tyne his mettle.   A pray ye'll cry ma neebour's name, But mines ye speik an, och, the shame! As ilka ee wi glentin flame Tae me nou turns, An kens A maun receet this rame O Robert Burns.   O, wad that A coud rin 'wa hame, An no read Burns! Ma ettlin at it soonds absurd. The wey A speik maks ilka wird Guff like an Ayrshire stirkie's turd. Til at sic paiter Gowl ye, "Wheesht! Eneuch A've heard! Ye'll see me later."   Sae kyte richt fou o apprehension, A fairly crowl taewart detention. Whit punishments o yer invention Coud bide ma crimes? An exerceese in comprehension? Or scrievin lines?   But like some knackie auld enchanter, Ye huily help ma braken banter Soond sweeter than a piper's chanter. A'll screed aff sang Like Scots Wha Whae an Tam o' Shanter Fae hert or lang.   See, teachers are a queerie lot. Maist are helplie, some are not. The smairtest o us minds whit's taught An ayeweys learns. So gie the teachin that ye got The thank it earns.   An thanks as weel – A near forgot – Tae Robert Burns!
January 25, 2025 at 2:17 PM
mattbecker82.bsky.social
How am supposed to stay at home and avoid coastal areas if I live 50m from the coast? #Eowyn
January 23, 2025 at 6:48 PM
mattbecker82.bsky.social
For the curious, here is the view. A submerged, disused quarry.
January 19, 2025 at 3:04 PM
mattbecker82.bsky.social
Well, this looks enticing, and not remotely like a trap from a nightmare horror movie. 🤔 #Scenic #Scotland
A rusty door in a wire fence, leading to a cage-enclosed dirt path overgrown with weeds. The enclosure is topped with barbed wire and a sign reading “VIEWING AREA”.
January 19, 2025 at 2:30 PM
mattbecker82.bsky.social
Raging Bull on BBC2 vs Rocky Balboa on ITV1/STV. It’s like a meta-prize fight of #boxing films. And it’s not even 26th December. 🥊
Robert De Niro as Jake La Motta in Raging Bull Promotional Poster for Rocky Balboa
November 24, 2024 at 10:40 PM
mattbecker82.bsky.social
Why does this happen? (Same question on different TV #quiz shows on the same day.) #Impossible #TheTournament
November 13, 2024 at 2:41 PM