matttbartsch
@mattbartsch.bsky.social
i’m the whole dam circus BABY WOOOOO ITS GREAT TO BE ALIVE
there’s no better place to spew grammatically correct vomit other than the internet, right?
go find waldo
there’s no better place to spew grammatically correct vomit other than the internet, right?
go find waldo
WATERFALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL
June 28, 2025 at 3:36 PM
WATERFALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL
is this thing on? 🎤🤏🎤🤏🎤🤏
June 26, 2025 at 5:17 PM
is this thing on? 🎤🤏🎤🤏🎤🤏
i gotta make a coin gun. a gun that shoots coins. anyone have ideas
January 8, 2025 at 5:30 PM
i gotta make a coin gun. a gun that shoots coins. anyone have ideas
ok no. i love the metric system. the imperial system is what i hate
god i fucking hate the metric system
it’s so good but god forbid the united states adopts good things
it’s so good but god forbid the united states adopts good things
December 16, 2024 at 11:44 PM
ok no. i love the metric system. the imperial system is what i hate
SUN IS SHINING IN THE SKY
THERE AINT A CLOUD IN SIGHT
IT’S STOPPED RAINING
EVERYBODY’S IN THE PLAY
AND DONT YOU KNOW
IT’S A BEAUTIFUL NEW DAY
AY AY AY
THERE AINT A CLOUD IN SIGHT
IT’S STOPPED RAINING
EVERYBODY’S IN THE PLAY
AND DONT YOU KNOW
IT’S A BEAUTIFUL NEW DAY
AY AY AY
December 16, 2024 at 11:44 PM
SUN IS SHINING IN THE SKY
THERE AINT A CLOUD IN SIGHT
IT’S STOPPED RAINING
EVERYBODY’S IN THE PLAY
AND DONT YOU KNOW
IT’S A BEAUTIFUL NEW DAY
AY AY AY
THERE AINT A CLOUD IN SIGHT
IT’S STOPPED RAINING
EVERYBODY’S IN THE PLAY
AND DONT YOU KNOW
IT’S A BEAUTIFUL NEW DAY
AY AY AY
i listened to man or muppet 87,726 times this year and i loved every minute of it.
December 8, 2024 at 11:26 PM
i listened to man or muppet 87,726 times this year and i loved every minute of it.
god i fucking hate the metric system
it’s so good but god forbid the united states adopts good things
it’s so good but god forbid the united states adopts good things
November 26, 2024 at 11:05 PM
god i fucking hate the metric system
it’s so good but god forbid the united states adopts good things
it’s so good but god forbid the united states adopts good things
i hate having top tier meta humor that only 5 people get
November 25, 2024 at 7:39 PM
i hate having top tier meta humor that only 5 people get
i just swallowed toothpaste for the first time in so long
i’m devolving as a human
i’m devolving as a human
November 24, 2024 at 3:05 PM
i just swallowed toothpaste for the first time in so long
i’m devolving as a human
i’m devolving as a human
i feel like we as a society have to adjust the pedestrian point scale for inflation
1 person should be more like 15 maybe 20 points not 10
and maybe multipliers like in diablo? like if i hit enough people i should get 1.5x to 2x points for a little while
1 person should be more like 15 maybe 20 points not 10
and maybe multipliers like in diablo? like if i hit enough people i should get 1.5x to 2x points for a little while
November 23, 2024 at 1:23 AM
i feel like we as a society have to adjust the pedestrian point scale for inflation
1 person should be more like 15 maybe 20 points not 10
and maybe multipliers like in diablo? like if i hit enough people i should get 1.5x to 2x points for a little while
1 person should be more like 15 maybe 20 points not 10
and maybe multipliers like in diablo? like if i hit enough people i should get 1.5x to 2x points for a little while
i’m so mad at everyone why did nobody tell me whole foods is fucking BEAUTIFUL
November 22, 2024 at 7:41 PM
i’m so mad at everyone why did nobody tell me whole foods is fucking BEAUTIFUL
does anything rhyme with milk?
November 22, 2024 at 6:36 PM
does anything rhyme with milk?
but then….
one day
everything changed…. you’re all i need
UNDERNEATH THE TREEEEEEEEEEE YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHH
one day
everything changed…. you’re all i need
UNDERNEATH THE TREEEEEEEEEEE YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHH
November 22, 2024 at 3:40 PM
but then….
one day
everything changed…. you’re all i need
UNDERNEATH THE TREEEEEEEEEEE YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHH
one day
everything changed…. you’re all i need
UNDERNEATH THE TREEEEEEEEEEE YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHH
oh to be one of them
the joy
BWAH BWAH
HA BWA BWAH BWAH HA BWAH
HA BWA BWAH BWAH HA BWAH!!!!
the joy
BWAH BWAH
HA BWA BWAH BWAH HA BWAH
HA BWA BWAH BWAH HA BWAH!!!!
a close up of a cartoon rabbit with big eyes and a mouth open .
ALT: a close up of a cartoon rabbit with big eyes and a mouth open .
media.tenor.com
November 22, 2024 at 7:35 AM
oh to be one of them
the joy
BWAH BWAH
HA BWA BWAH BWAH HA BWAH
HA BWA BWAH BWAH HA BWAH!!!!
the joy
BWAH BWAH
HA BWA BWAH BWAH HA BWAH
HA BWA BWAH BWAH HA BWAH!!!!
thank you and good night new york
except for the fact that i cannot and most likely will not fall asleep
except for the fact that i cannot and most likely will not fall asleep
November 22, 2024 at 7:08 AM
thank you and good night new york
except for the fact that i cannot and most likely will not fall asleep
except for the fact that i cannot and most likely will not fall asleep
how i’m actually being perceived
November 22, 2024 at 7:07 AM
how i’m actually being perceived
how i WANT to be perceived
November 22, 2024 at 7:07 AM
how i WANT to be perceived
how i feel my presence is being perceived
November 22, 2024 at 7:06 AM
how i feel my presence is being perceived
also i’m sorry, but i simply don’t get how this type of social media is supposed to work
i’m not an idiot, nor am i old
i just don’t understand how the absurd thoughts and sentences i say will promote light hearted interaction
maybe i’m too classy
or not classy enough
i’m not an idiot, nor am i old
i just don’t understand how the absurd thoughts and sentences i say will promote light hearted interaction
maybe i’m too classy
or not classy enough
November 22, 2024 at 7:05 AM
also i’m sorry, but i simply don’t get how this type of social media is supposed to work
i’m not an idiot, nor am i old
i just don’t understand how the absurd thoughts and sentences i say will promote light hearted interaction
maybe i’m too classy
or not classy enough
i’m not an idiot, nor am i old
i just don’t understand how the absurd thoughts and sentences i say will promote light hearted interaction
maybe i’m too classy
or not classy enough
why is it that i don’t wanna do any work during the day but the MINUTE 2AM rolls around i don’t want to sleep but i want to work
make it make sense
but don’t because people rationalizing absurd things i say scares me
make it make sense
but don’t because people rationalizing absurd things i say scares me
November 22, 2024 at 7:02 AM
why is it that i don’t wanna do any work during the day but the MINUTE 2AM rolls around i don’t want to sleep but i want to work
make it make sense
but don’t because people rationalizing absurd things i say scares me
make it make sense
but don’t because people rationalizing absurd things i say scares me
so i have a great experiment. @hankgreen.bsky.social what would happen if i were to be simultaneously shot with an epipen gun and a tranquilizer gun. nothing? something? immediate or delayed death? would i become immune to everything?
i need the answers PLEASE
i need the answers PLEASE
wait this would simply just be the anti-tranquilizer gun. since epinephrine is adrenaline, it would simply have the opposite effect of a tranquilizer
as a man with a peanut allergy ( i was to perfect so i needed a debuff ofc) i’ve always wanted places to have an epi-pen gun. similar to a tranquilizer gun, but for epipens. it would make anaphylaxis so much more rewarding
November 16, 2024 at 10:17 PM
so i have a great experiment. @hankgreen.bsky.social what would happen if i were to be simultaneously shot with an epipen gun and a tranquilizer gun. nothing? something? immediate or delayed death? would i become immune to everything?
i need the answers PLEASE
i need the answers PLEASE
wait this would simply just be the anti-tranquilizer gun. since epinephrine is adrenaline, it would simply have the opposite effect of a tranquilizer
as a man with a peanut allergy ( i was to perfect so i needed a debuff ofc) i’ve always wanted places to have an epi-pen gun. similar to a tranquilizer gun, but for epipens. it would make anaphylaxis so much more rewarding
November 16, 2024 at 10:15 PM
wait this would simply just be the anti-tranquilizer gun. since epinephrine is adrenaline, it would simply have the opposite effect of a tranquilizer
as a man with a peanut allergy ( i was to perfect so i needed a debuff ofc) i’ve always wanted places to have an epi-pen gun. similar to a tranquilizer gun, but for epipens. it would make anaphylaxis so much more rewarding
November 16, 2024 at 10:14 PM
as a man with a peanut allergy ( i was to perfect so i needed a debuff ofc) i’ve always wanted places to have an epi-pen gun. similar to a tranquilizer gun, but for epipens. it would make anaphylaxis so much more rewarding
yknow what i’ll accept the fact that im just talking to myself. i’ll embrace the comfort of boredom once and for all
October 25, 2024 at 1:22 AM
yknow what i’ll accept the fact that im just talking to myself. i’ll embrace the comfort of boredom once and for all