HI JUNE!!!

i keep trying to mull over personal feeling on the subject though and drawing a blank >_< i think ive encountered smiling suns drawn by adults so little over the past years that ive forgtten how it feels
maybe a little bit like when a teacher is putting on a Different voice to talk to kids...

weirdly i'm pretty sure i saw a youtube video on this exact subject and that's where the connective memory i have to the whole "kids draw chimneys on houses and that's kind of weird right" thing is off of. fucked if i can remember what the vid was though

to me it feels like how most kids understand and represent art, symbolic. it's (often) the learned and mimicked symbolism!! it's much the same reason why when kids are asked to draw a house, they'll often draw a chimney even if they've never been in a house with one...

and with situations of having real conflicts or knowing that having certain beings engage with others would go badly, there is some intuitive effort to avoid that by choosing to have separated interests in people or activities or outlets

which leaves me unsure what being responsible would entail

some scattershot fragmentary feelings i am feeling a lot of but struggling to put shape to... i wouldn't say i feel Ownership for the actions of my other headmates and i wouldn't ever feel right apologizing for them

i think im coming at it from my system's lens of experience, where there often isn't much memory overlap between subsystems, and where it feels far more like... several lives being lived in parallel than making up a broader whole. it feels like a sea urchin in shape and texture

hard to pin to words... i think i feel the most resistance to a shared body necessarily meaning a shared life. and to some extent what being responsible for the actions of another means therein

complicated feelings on this...
what does responsibility mean?