thanks luke!!

this is the right direction, i know it.

i put this here for my own reminder, really. i want to see where i am in a year, 2 years, 5 years. hopefully somewhere good.

i’m still insecure. i’m still awkward, anxious, unmotivated, and maybe too paranoid for my own good (i spiral a lot.) but a part of me knows i can do better. so i try and push past it all. i hope that having people who i can count on in the long term can help with that too.

make the interpersonal connections that last me years. i’ve moved around all throughout my childhood, and i think that’s hurt me in the long run. i’m tired of people coming and going. so i’m trying to make the strides to make the connections last longer. that means settling down for now

i need to vent more.

being by myself scares me sometimes. and i’ve felt alone since coming back home. long term friends are off far away and this past year has been hard on that front.

but i made the decision to keep my roots in my hometown and-

been a bittersweet past couple of weeks but idk

things are looking up in life i think? as up as they can be in this hellhole of a country, anyway. but personally! i’m doing more okay than i have in a while

i don’t know what they are yet but they have antlers! lol

i feel like shit. genuinely.

emotionally, physically.

at the very least, i’m glad i have people in my life that have my back and that i can rely on. strength in community.