people walk up to the bar and ask “can i buy a drink here” at least once a day

the 5/5 night watchman rating may finally get it off my bedside table TBR

you got me fucked up if you think i’m taking life advice from someone who could have been at the same frat parties as me when i was 19

anyway earlier i poured syrup on my leg and one of the servers said “oh my god” and i had to ask him what he was referring to because i didn’t realize that i was covered in syrup or that it was weird to have a lot of syrup on you

all kindergarten teachers change the world but whatever kindergarten teacher said this for the first time made the world a better place

i fixed a sugar free watermelon redbull by balancing the flavors with lime juice

trey gave me an honest to god deadline on this project and it means i actually have to lock in

is there a way to tell you that i’ve already rewatched several episodes that makes me sound mentally healthy