Mark Turetsky? Why, he disappeared 20 years ago...
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markturetsky.com
Mark Turetsky? Why, he disappeared 20 years ago...
@markturetsky.com
400 followers 480 following 880 posts
Audiobook narrator, I also write about comics and Trek. And Trek comics. He/him
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markturetsky.com
Rolling into spooky season
October 1, 2025 at 1:38 PM
markturetsky.com
Me and the boys waiting for the lunch buffet
September 27, 2025 at 9:56 PM
markturetsky.com
Hey, so I'm a finalist in the inaugural Professional Audiobook Narrators Association Narrator of Distinction awards for my work on The Chronicles of Viktor Valentine by @butucancallmez.bsky.social
A photo of me, framed by a fancy box that says "Narrator of Distinction, Professional Audiobook Narrators Association" 2025 finalist
September 8, 2025 at 8:56 PM
markturetsky.com
When my college buddies show up at my work.
A still from Return of the Jedi. The Emperor is talking to Vader and there are two guys standing looking at them, visually between them in the frame. They're old white guys, wearing ostentatious purple velvet clothes. One has a hat that looks like a bunch of purple flat caps stacked atop one another and the other is wearing a hat that looks like a head-sized purple marshmallow. These guys are listed in the wiki as "Imperial Advisers" but they don't have any lines and don't do anything in the movie except for being around for part of a scene.
August 16, 2025 at 1:02 PM
markturetsky.com
Sinners (2025):
There are legends of people born with the gift of making music so true, it can pierce the veil between life and death, conjuring spirits from the past and the future.
It's the big dracula jamboree from Sinners, except instead of the Irish vampire dancing a jig, it's Marty McFly playing Johnny B Goode from Back to the Future
July 26, 2025 at 5:58 PM
markturetsky.com
Someone on a Discord mentioned they looked like Zod and his gang, so I just had to...
A (fake) Newsweek cover. It's Zod's gang from Superman 2 on the cover, with the text over them that says "Bisexuality: Not gay. Not straight. A new sexual identity emerges"
July 17, 2025 at 3:37 PM
markturetsky.com
I... had not heard this about them?
A comic panel. Captain Britain is on the left side, grabbing his shoulder in pain. He shouts "GUUGH!" On the right is the bad guy. He's holding up his hand, which looks sharp. He says, "The pain surprises you, Captain? You are alarmed at how easily I could breach your force field leaving that point unprotected. Then you are not aware of what I have done to my arm? It is a ninja trick. You know of the ninjas, of course?" Two panels. In the first, the two are still facing each other down, but now we are seeing the baddie's hand in the foreground, while Cap holds his shoulder in the background. The baddie monologues, "They pound their hands into rock until they are covered with a thick callous. Then they sharpen the callous to a keen point. Of course, the hand isn't much use for anything after that..." In the second panel, the baddie has sliced open Cap's costume, again at the shoulder. He says, "...except cutting." Cap says "RRRAAARGH!" There is a caption that says "The shoulder, again. The shoulder."
March 6, 2025 at 6:48 PM
markturetsky.com
Not the heroes we deserve, but the heroes we need. Or something.
Sam and Max, Freelance Police.
January 31, 2025 at 4:00 AM
markturetsky.com
A screenshot of Audrey Horne from Twin Peaks. She's in the diner, talking to Donna. She is saying, "Yeah, well, I'm going to do my own investigation. With blackjack... and hookers!"
January 23, 2025 at 2:49 AM
markturetsky.com
Two comics panels. The first shows a woman mid-transformation into a tree. She has little branches coming out of her head where hair should go and her hands are becoming gnarled. Caption reads "Then, in one horrifying instant, where a woman once stood..." Second panel shows a tree that's roughly person shaped. It somehow has a face with eyes and a mouth and two branches that are definitely arms. Caption reads, "... There now stands only a gnarled and leafless tree! To be continued..."
January 22, 2025 at 9:17 PM
markturetsky.com
A comic panel. A giant rises up from the ground while a wizard stands in the foreground summing it. Caption reads, "A terrifying figure emerged from beneath the earth... imprisoned by prehistoric wizards at the dawn of time, it was now free..."
January 20, 2025 at 4:01 PM
markturetsky.com
Oh shit, for real?!
A comic title blurb, that says, "Sent on a quest by Merlin, to mystery-shrouded Cornwall... The Black Knight"
January 19, 2025 at 4:06 AM
markturetsky.com
A scene from Star Trek: Lower Decks. Boimler is in a small room. There is one window and a door. Out the window can be seen a black mountain set against a cloudy sky. The floor is a black and white chevron pattern. There is a purple armchair with a koala. The koala is light blue and glowing. There is also a floor lamp which provides most of the light and across the room from the koala is a side table.
January 17, 2025 at 1:02 AM
markturetsky.com
A robin sits on a window sill eating a bug
January 16, 2025 at 7:42 PM
markturetsky.com
In the background, 5 people are disembarking from a plane on one of those movable stairways. The one in the front says, "There's nobody here to meet us!" Another one says, "Maybe we arrived too early!" In the foreground, taking up nearly half the panel, is a robot face with a pilot's hat, holding a little radio mic in its robot hand. The robot is saying, "Pas-sen-gers are de-bark-ing, master! They did not dis-cov-er that their pi-lot was a ro-bot!"
January 7, 2025 at 2:27 AM
markturetsky.com
@mikemcmahan.bsky.social Excited for the complete series blu-rays, but it's a missed opportunity not basing it on this. It could even awkwardly continue if more seasons got added on after the fifth!
A VHS set of the original Star Trek cast movies. The spines of the tapes make a picture of the Enterprise, but this set was clearly designed before Star Trek VI, because the Enterprise image is finished on Star Trek V. The spine of Star Trek VI just has space on is and some of the red background that the Enterprise is flying out of.
January 6, 2025 at 5:51 PM
markturetsky.com
As much as I love this, it seems a shame that it doesn't follow through with the original cast movie poster pastiches. Probably the best thing for this to look like is this classic VHS set.
A VHS set of the original Star Trek cast movies. The spines of the tapes make a picture of the Enterprise, but this set was clearly designed before Star Trek VI, because the Enterprise image is finished on Star Trek V. The spine of Star Trek VI just has space on is and some of the red background that the Enterprise is flying out of.
January 6, 2025 at 5:49 PM
markturetsky.com
Skate park my ass. That's a Guardian of Forever if ever I've seen one.
A news chyron reads "Local News: West Monroe Man Built A Skate Park in His Backyard." The image shows a circular shape. A man inside it seems to be in motion. It's unclear that he's skateboarding. Image artifacts make it seem like he's only half there. It's unnerving.
January 2, 2025 at 2:52 AM
markturetsky.com
X-Men (2000) DP: Newton Thomas Sigel
An image of Wallace from Wallace and Gromit with a fish-bowl looking contraption on his head with some solar panels sticking out of it while he sits. It looks like Cerebro.
January 1, 2025 at 1:59 AM
markturetsky.com
I'm at the Dunkin' Donuts
I'm at the CBD Vape Shop
I'm at the combination Dunkin' Donuts and CBD Vape Shop.
A storefront that appears to have a Dunkin' Donuts on the left side and a CBD dispensary on the right side. You'd think they were separate businesses that are just next to each other, but there's only one entrance.
December 23, 2024 at 6:08 PM
markturetsky.com
Willem Dafoe looking extra creepy in Wild At Heart. His teeth are basically stumps and he's grinning maniacally.
December 18, 2024 at 1:17 AM
markturetsky.com
I never got a satisfactory answer to the question posed by this spam e-mail
text that reads "Is Congress Doing Enough for Mark Turetsky Voice Overs?"
December 6, 2024 at 4:27 PM
markturetsky.com
4 hours, 47 minutes recorded today...
A screengrab from the Simpsons. A monkey wearing a diaper looks exhausted (and also has gotten fat) he has entered the sentence "Pray for Mojo" into a small speech computer.
December 3, 2024 at 10:09 PM
markturetsky.com
So, did these four ever... hang out?
Lucy and Andy from Twin Peaks Leeta and Rom from Deep Space Nine
December 3, 2024 at 2:21 AM
markturetsky.com
It's that time of year again...
A drawing. A human-sized catlike demon is carrying a figure in a bible-style robe with a halo. Almost like he's setting up a Christmas creche somewhere.
December 2, 2024 at 1:03 PM