I got a loan in 2005 for one and it's been through house move after house move with me, my peculiar high lux companion.

But every year, that's what I wonder: is the saturnine, dusk haunted me the real one? What if my body and the mind it carries about are really meant for this gothic lethargy and morbidness and what would happen if I just gave in? Would the frozen or moist ground and soil welcome me like waves?

All of your wellness TM woo says listen to your body but what if your body is a traitor, or serves a different master to your mind? I don't think I will ever have the material security to find out what would happen if I allowed the SAD to take me by the hand and lead me away into the mist and briars

Wrote this a while back inews.co.uk/inews-lifest...

I shall be, for much of my time in public here, a mulchy wind that threatens ancient secrets and half heard whispers, thumbs pattering away as wan light threatens to uncover disconcerting mysteries under mossy rocks and in bramble hedges. The best way to see ghosts is to become part ghost yourself

To be florid and enervated and yoked to the turn of the seasons is to be both at one and at odds with the world for a chunk of the year. To become the landscape is both profoundly magical and also a massive pain in the arse

It's increasingly my conclusion at least 50% of all British folklore is just bad SAD. I don't really know how other people live their lives so unalienated from their own bodies and in control of their own energy and motivation. Everything from now to March is just weak light through bare branches

I mean, it's nice to feel that you are attractive to people you care about and to feel comfortable in your own body, but being made of beef and having a 24 hour horn isn't the be all and end all of travelling through your life on this earth in a masculine body. Wellbeing is much more than that

I have often felt that there is not an equivilent of sisterhood for men. There's lots that might get categorised as brotherhood, but I'm not sure it's the same. Some men are great friends to the other men in their lives, but others are their worst enemies masquerading as such.

Telly programmes and films stay in circulation for years on streaming and through digital media. I have never, ever had a conversation with someone else where radio drama comes up as a thing. And commercial release of BBC audio drama is a right state. All that amazing stuff just ephemeral

Over the last twenty years, my diet of drama has been in this order: radio, theatre, film, telly. I'd love to read reviews and features about BBC radio drama. Get to know writers, actors, producers, sound designers, music makers etc. Because it's a distinct form of home grown drama I love.

The idea that there is only an extreme left to left of centre right with nothing and no one inbetween is the most incredible bit of fantasy work. People with left wing ideas, opinions and affiliations are very careful who they call fascist or nazi, contrary to what right wing nonsense mills say