Mark Essien
markessien.com
Mark Essien
@markessien.com
Idea guy
Today I learned that when they do a kidney transplant, you end up with 3 kidneys. They don't actually remove your old kidneys, just add a new one.
April 9, 2025 at 1:31 PM
Recovered a dataset of thousands of daily calls to book hotels in Nigeria - starting from 2021 to 2024. Was all on one hard drive that had failed. Took a lot of wrangling to get the data now. Invaluable in this age of AI.
December 8, 2024 at 1:40 PM
The worst Christmas present giver is that guy who gave his Love a partridge in a pear tree. He just pointed at a random dove and declared it her present
December 8, 2024 at 9:21 AM
The entire hangover is only in the last glass
December 7, 2024 at 8:33 PM
December 7, 2024 at 4:40 PM
That moment when you see your hanging coat in the reflection of the window and you are sure you are about to be murdered
December 7, 2024 at 3:46 PM
We should have medical insurance where you get a way cheaper rate, but you elect to have some surgeries in Venezuela or Congo or so.
December 6, 2024 at 2:59 PM
I think we need to be far more deliberate about what our last tweets would be
December 6, 2024 at 2:57 PM
That awkward moment when the shop security beeps as you enter and you realize you're wearing the perfume you stole last time
December 4, 2024 at 7:27 AM
Using the parents with kids parking should be allowed, even with no kids in the car. We deserve it.
December 4, 2024 at 7:14 AM
The most famous muskrat ever is probably the one that took the verse in Muskrat Love.
December 4, 2024 at 6:40 AM
My daughter said that eating noodles is the opposite of pooping and she's right
December 4, 2024 at 6:37 AM
Getting my wisdom teeth removed, hope I don't end up like that Algernon guy
December 4, 2024 at 6:34 AM
Steve telling Adam: Is it not boring that we are exactly the same, I wish there were some way I could be the same, but different?
December 3, 2024 at 6:49 PM
Kinda crazy that the ninja turtles did all those crazy sculptures and paintings and then just gave up art, moved to a basement and eat pizza
December 3, 2024 at 11:07 AM
I consider being a vegetarian a spectrum, and I am on the meat side of this spectrum
December 3, 2024 at 9:20 AM
You throw away your undies when there is more hole than underwear
December 2, 2024 at 7:46 PM
The most romantic lyric in a song is certainly:

"Step back, you're dancing kinda close
I feel a little poke coming through"
December 2, 2024 at 7:20 AM
Where is the rage content on bluesky? Everyone is too nice here, need to find the right corner for me
December 2, 2024 at 6:22 AM
I decided to get back into reading, and then got like 10 of the best books the blogs said I should get. The ones that make you seem clever. And then never read them. See - reading only works when it's fun. Now I read my sci fi and mysteries and I'm back to reading again.
November 30, 2024 at 7:39 PM
Thinking of reskilling to be a bee knees surgeon
November 30, 2024 at 12:53 PM
What's PETA's stance on werewolves? Asking for a friend
November 29, 2024 at 5:56 AM
New Zara collection looked like they went hunting on sesame street
November 28, 2024 at 9:22 PM
After the second world war, every German received 60 marks. Their savings were pretty much wiped out. That means that society basically restarted, with everyone having to re-earn their entire money from scratch.
November 27, 2024 at 5:48 AM
I like the word 'digital bricklayer'
November 26, 2024 at 9:02 AM