Pope Murderer: “It would have taken me two seconds to Google this but I’d rather state an easily disproven falsehood as fact with completely unfounded certainty.”

He has a point. Dictators usually share power with 676 other dictators. That’s why they’re called dictators.

Who’s “we”? The beer pong table at Buffalo Wild Wings?

If they refuse to incriminate the FBI, who's going to come after them? The FBI? Lol, good luck with that!

Yeah, kids being racist is a totally normal thing that we should encourage! Why set an example when your kids can indulge their worst instincts with zero guidance! Guys, bigotry is healthy! Everyone knows that!

Free to have measles, y’all!

This is the plot of a John Candy movie.

Relax, guys. This blatant Nazi apologist sentiment is probably just another muscle spasm.

"Inform on yourself and everyone around you or else."

Man, am I glad well-informed voters voted for a government that will let doctors make medical decisions and... oh.

Trump: "Guys, we need a cool name for this AI thing. Maybe something from a movie..."

Minion: "You mean like Skynet?"

Trump: "Stargate? Yeah, that's perfect. Nothing could be better."

Minion: "No, I said Skynet because that's literally-"

Trump: "Stargate it is! Oh, and you're fired."