Maria DeCotis
@mariadecotis.bsky.social
Comedienne | Female Actor | as seen in @rollingstone @nytimes @guardian @wsj @vogue @nymag @comedycentral | broadway w/@birbigs | Instagram @mariadecotis
https://linktr.ee/mariadecotis
https://linktr.ee/mariadecotis
I actually do think I’m nonbinary but I don’t want to annoy my family any further.
March 7, 2025 at 5:21 AM
I actually do think I’m nonbinary but I don’t want to annoy my family any further.
Men look so different without their protein powder. They’re catfishing us, ladies.
March 2, 2025 at 8:53 PM
Men look so different without their protein powder. They’re catfishing us, ladies.
I don’t like magic. If I wanted to spend my entire evening being deceived by a man, I’d go on a date.
February 27, 2025 at 6:40 PM
I don’t like magic. If I wanted to spend my entire evening being deceived by a man, I’d go on a date.
One time I said the punishment for r*pe should be castration and men got SOOOOOOO MAD.
February 25, 2025 at 8:39 PM
One time I said the punishment for r*pe should be castration and men got SOOOOOOO MAD.
@aliadastagir.bsky.social approached me in 2023 to be interviewed for a book she was working on about women and online abuse. I received the book a few days ago in the mail and it is more timely than ever. As the human rights of women, lgbtqia+ folks, and other marginalized people are being taken
February 25, 2025 at 2:49 PM
@aliadastagir.bsky.social approached me in 2023 to be interviewed for a book she was working on about women and online abuse. I received the book a few days ago in the mail and it is more timely than ever. As the human rights of women, lgbtqia+ folks, and other marginalized people are being taken
Y’all, I found out flossing actually works. The dentists aren’t just saying that to be annoying. This isn’t an ad.
February 23, 2025 at 7:08 AM
Y’all, I found out flossing actually works. The dentists aren’t just saying that to be annoying. This isn’t an ad.
You’re in his DMs, I’m on 4th wave feminism Tok.
February 21, 2025 at 3:06 AM
You’re in his DMs, I’m on 4th wave feminism Tok.
Men invented blue balls ‘cause they’ve never had to sit with the discomfort of being unsatisfied.
February 18, 2025 at 8:26 PM
Men invented blue balls ‘cause they’ve never had to sit with the discomfort of being unsatisfied.
Labotomy is so barbaric, yet being fully conscious for men’s audacity is somehow much more savage.
February 18, 2025 at 6:44 AM
Labotomy is so barbaric, yet being fully conscious for men’s audacity is somehow much more savage.
Me to men: What are your intentions with my daughter? And by my daughter, I mean my inner child.
February 14, 2025 at 12:53 AM
Me to men: What are your intentions with my daughter? And by my daughter, I mean my inner child.
Contrary to what patriarchy has taught us, talking about what a man did to you is NOT revenge. It’s not even accountability and it’s certainly not justice. It’s literally nothing. It is simply your right to speak. Him facing consequences for his actions would be accountability.
February 10, 2025 at 6:00 PM
Contrary to what patriarchy has taught us, talking about what a man did to you is NOT revenge. It’s not even accountability and it’s certainly not justice. It’s literally nothing. It is simply your right to speak. Him facing consequences for his actions would be accountability.
Red Pill Pope
Come see a very special abridged 55 min performance of my critically acclaimed solo show, Emotionally Unreasonable after Valentines Day (February Fool’s day) and ON Presidents Day (also Feb Fool’s Day) @ucbtny on Monday Feb 25 at 5:30pm !
tr.ee/3EiT8xlSVk
Come see a very special abridged 55 min performance of my critically acclaimed solo show, Emotionally Unreasonable after Valentines Day (February Fool’s day) and ON Presidents Day (also Feb Fool’s Day) @ucbtny on Monday Feb 25 at 5:30pm !
tr.ee/3EiT8xlSVk
February 9, 2025 at 3:57 PM
Red Pill Pope
Come see a very special abridged 55 min performance of my critically acclaimed solo show, Emotionally Unreasonable after Valentines Day (February Fool’s day) and ON Presidents Day (also Feb Fool’s Day) @ucbtny on Monday Feb 25 at 5:30pm !
tr.ee/3EiT8xlSVk
Come see a very special abridged 55 min performance of my critically acclaimed solo show, Emotionally Unreasonable after Valentines Day (February Fool’s day) and ON Presidents Day (also Feb Fool’s Day) @ucbtny on Monday Feb 25 at 5:30pm !
tr.ee/3EiT8xlSVk
Weaponized therapy speak used to gaslight women is the new-fangled labotomy.
February 5, 2025 at 4:19 PM
Weaponized therapy speak used to gaslight women is the new-fangled labotomy.
Happy February Fool’s Day!
- me on Feb 14
- me on Feb 14
February 5, 2025 at 4:09 PM
Happy February Fool’s Day!
- me on Feb 14
- me on Feb 14
Come see Emotionally Unreasonable on 2/17 at 5:30pm at UCB nyc. Link in bio!
February 1, 2025 at 10:08 PM
Come see Emotionally Unreasonable on 2/17 at 5:30pm at UCB nyc. Link in bio!
Made the mistake of going on a date with a man my age and he asked me to split an entree and then asked if I wanted to go back to his place.
February 1, 2025 at 8:15 PM
Made the mistake of going on a date with a man my age and he asked me to split an entree and then asked if I wanted to go back to his place.
I decided to treat myself yesterday by going to the doctor.
February 1, 2025 at 6:29 AM
I decided to treat myself yesterday by going to the doctor.
Come see Emotionally Unreasonable on Monday, Feb 17 at 5:30pm at UCB Theater NY! Link in bio!
January 31, 2025 at 3:28 AM
Come see Emotionally Unreasonable on Monday, Feb 17 at 5:30pm at UCB Theater NY! Link in bio!
Have you ever wanted to see my critically acclaimed 85 min solo stand-up show, but thought- “hm that seems kind of LONG.” Well now you can see a very special abridged 55 min performance of Emotionally Unreasonable @ucbtny on Monday Feb 25 at 5:30pm !
January 27, 2025 at 6:49 PM
Have you ever wanted to see my critically acclaimed 85 min solo stand-up show, but thought- “hm that seems kind of LONG.” Well now you can see a very special abridged 55 min performance of Emotionally Unreasonable @ucbtny on Monday Feb 25 at 5:30pm !
All I want is to follow Elena Ferrante on Instagram.
January 24, 2025 at 1:12 PM
All I want is to follow Elena Ferrante on Instagram.
Being a woman in your 30s is just every single one of your late 30s male friends being like, “I’m seeing a new girl. She’s really young…”
January 21, 2025 at 11:48 PM
Being a woman in your 30s is just every single one of your late 30s male friends being like, “I’m seeing a new girl. She’s really young…”
Every day I thank my lucky stars that I’m a woman because I can’t catch the male loneliness epidemic.
#femaleprivelege
#femaleprivelege
January 16, 2025 at 11:00 AM
Every day I thank my lucky stars that I’m a woman because I can’t catch the male loneliness epidemic.
#femaleprivelege
#femaleprivelege
This email could’ve been a front-facing video.
January 14, 2025 at 8:04 AM
This email could’ve been a front-facing video.
billionaires ex-wives are the moment
January 9, 2025 at 8:30 PM
billionaires ex-wives are the moment
I don’t want to start any new shows because I don’t want to get emotionally attached to any new characters or invest in any storylines and I also don’t want to feel hope.
December 30, 2024 at 3:05 AM
I don’t want to start any new shows because I don’t want to get emotionally attached to any new characters or invest in any storylines and I also don’t want to feel hope.