Marc.Raving.Mad.
@marcravingmad.bsky.social
Seeking joy in the mundane. Often disappointed. Never to be taken seriously.
Look, I'm old. But I know that I have to change with the times. So I'm trying to use em dashes, but I don't like it — not one bit.
And don't even fucking start with your "You don't put spaces on either side of an em dash" bullshit because I don't have time for your stupidity.
And don't even fucking start with your "You don't put spaces on either side of an em dash" bullshit because I don't have time for your stupidity.
November 14, 2025 at 11:01 PM
Look, I'm old. But I know that I have to change with the times. So I'm trying to use em dashes, but I don't like it — not one bit.
And don't even fucking start with your "You don't put spaces on either side of an em dash" bullshit because I don't have time for your stupidity.
And don't even fucking start with your "You don't put spaces on either side of an em dash" bullshit because I don't have time for your stupidity.
One of these things is true:
1) My grocery store plays "What Kind of Man Would I Be?" by Chicago on a constant loop.
2) They know when I'm going to be there and play it then.
I can't decide which is worse.
1) My grocery store plays "What Kind of Man Would I Be?" by Chicago on a constant loop.
2) They know when I'm going to be there and play it then.
I can't decide which is worse.
October 23, 2025 at 11:54 PM
One of these things is true:
1) My grocery store plays "What Kind of Man Would I Be?" by Chicago on a constant loop.
2) They know when I'm going to be there and play it then.
I can't decide which is worse.
1) My grocery store plays "What Kind of Man Would I Be?" by Chicago on a constant loop.
2) They know when I'm going to be there and play it then.
I can't decide which is worse.
As a parent, nothing can prepare you for the first time you see your kid's hopes get crushed by a Toronto sports team. It's heartbreaking.
October 18, 2025 at 1:10 AM
As a parent, nothing can prepare you for the first time you see your kid's hopes get crushed by a Toronto sports team. It's heartbreaking.
The art forms of music and fashion both reached their peak in Seattle in the 90s.
October 6, 2025 at 2:35 AM
The art forms of music and fashion both reached their peak in Seattle in the 90s.
To anyone who is considering having children.
Yes, they will occasionally make choices that are exactly as stupid as the ones you made at that age, if not more so. And yes, there will be days when you just have to listen to Enya and pretend that the world doesn't exist.
Yes, they will occasionally make choices that are exactly as stupid as the ones you made at that age, if not more so. And yes, there will be days when you just have to listen to Enya and pretend that the world doesn't exist.
September 29, 2025 at 2:11 AM
To anyone who is considering having children.
Yes, they will occasionally make choices that are exactly as stupid as the ones you made at that age, if not more so. And yes, there will be days when you just have to listen to Enya and pretend that the world doesn't exist.
Yes, they will occasionally make choices that are exactly as stupid as the ones you made at that age, if not more so. And yes, there will be days when you just have to listen to Enya and pretend that the world doesn't exist.
This is your annual reminder that today marks 100 days until Christmas.
Govern yourselves accordingly.
Govern yourselves accordingly.
September 17, 2025 at 12:02 PM
This is your annual reminder that today marks 100 days until Christmas.
Govern yourselves accordingly.
Govern yourselves accordingly.
You know what word needs to be brought back into regular usage?
Truculent.
Truculent.
September 10, 2025 at 12:54 AM
You know what word needs to be brought back into regular usage?
Truculent.
Truculent.
Look, we've have a lot of problems in this world and I don't pretend to have the solutions.
But you know what definitely won't make anything better? The entire goddamn internet becoming obsessed with 100 men versus one gorilla.
But you know what definitely won't make anything better? The entire goddamn internet becoming obsessed with 100 men versus one gorilla.
May 6, 2025 at 1:31 AM
Look, we've have a lot of problems in this world and I don't pretend to have the solutions.
But you know what definitely won't make anything better? The entire goddamn internet becoming obsessed with 100 men versus one gorilla.
But you know what definitely won't make anything better? The entire goddamn internet becoming obsessed with 100 men versus one gorilla.
If your ranking of late-80s/early-90s electronic bands doesn't have The KLF at, or very close, to the top, what are you even doing?
And if you don't know any of their songs other than the one they did with Tammy Wynette, I seriously question your knowledge of music.
And if you don't know any of their songs other than the one they did with Tammy Wynette, I seriously question your knowledge of music.
April 11, 2025 at 11:22 PM
If your ranking of late-80s/early-90s electronic bands doesn't have The KLF at, or very close, to the top, what are you even doing?
And if you don't know any of their songs other than the one they did with Tammy Wynette, I seriously question your knowledge of music.
And if you don't know any of their songs other than the one they did with Tammy Wynette, I seriously question your knowledge of music.
I love how every restaurant in Toronto has a murder basement washroom that looks like something out of a Saw movie.
April 5, 2025 at 10:56 PM
I love how every restaurant in Toronto has a murder basement washroom that looks like something out of a Saw movie.
15 years old.
He hasn't aged a day.
He hasn't aged a day.
April 4, 2025 at 10:39 AM
15 years old.
He hasn't aged a day.
He hasn't aged a day.
If you never had the pleasure of being driven around in a wood paneled 80s station wagon, all I can tell you is that you missed out.
April 4, 2025 at 1:47 AM
If you never had the pleasure of being driven around in a wood paneled 80s station wagon, all I can tell you is that you missed out.
As a child, my parents tried to get me to wear corduroy pants. Once. They did not make that mistake a second time.
Corduroy pants can burn in Hell.
Corduroy pants can burn in Hell.
March 27, 2025 at 10:54 PM
As a child, my parents tried to get me to wear corduroy pants. Once. They did not make that mistake a second time.
Corduroy pants can burn in Hell.
Corduroy pants can burn in Hell.
This may be an unpopular opinion at a time when HBC is on the verge of joining Eaton's and Sears. But I firmly believe that the greatest loss to the Canadian retail landscape over the last three decades has been Consumers Distributing.
March 20, 2025 at 11:54 AM
This may be an unpopular opinion at a time when HBC is on the verge of joining Eaton's and Sears. But I firmly believe that the greatest loss to the Canadian retail landscape over the last three decades has been Consumers Distributing.
I'm making a second coffee after spilling the first one all over my fucking keyboard.
In case you were wondering how my goddamn day is going.
In case you were wondering how my goddamn day is going.
March 20, 2025 at 10:42 AM
I'm making a second coffee after spilling the first one all over my fucking keyboard.
In case you were wondering how my goddamn day is going.
In case you were wondering how my goddamn day is going.
Fine, I'm just going to say what we're all thinking:
Horseradish is a massively underappreciated condiment.
Horseradish is a massively underappreciated condiment.
March 18, 2025 at 11:08 PM
Fine, I'm just going to say what we're all thinking:
Horseradish is a massively underappreciated condiment.
Horseradish is a massively underappreciated condiment.
This fucking week is killing me. But at least tomorrow is Friday, right?
March 18, 2025 at 9:57 PM
This fucking week is killing me. But at least tomorrow is Friday, right?
Happy St. Patrick's Day to one and all... except those of you who still haven't taken down your fucking Christmas decorations.
March 17, 2025 at 1:01 PM
Happy St. Patrick's Day to one and all... except those of you who still haven't taken down your fucking Christmas decorations.
Good Friday night to everyone, but especially to the guy blasting Kraftwerk at full volume in his minivan. I see you, and I salute your choices.
March 15, 2025 at 12:47 AM
Good Friday night to everyone, but especially to the guy blasting Kraftwerk at full volume in his minivan. I see you, and I salute your choices.
My daughter eats cereal with a fork.
I have officially given up trying to understand left-handed people.
I have officially given up trying to understand left-handed people.
March 14, 2025 at 11:39 AM
My daughter eats cereal with a fork.
I have officially given up trying to understand left-handed people.
I have officially given up trying to understand left-handed people.
Look, I've been avoiding speaking out about this for fear of offending people, but some truths have to be spoken.
When it comes to mid-80s Canadian top-40 hits...
Summer of '69 > Sunglasses at Night
When it comes to mid-80s Canadian top-40 hits...
Summer of '69 > Sunglasses at Night
March 10, 2025 at 11:56 AM
Look, I've been avoiding speaking out about this for fear of offending people, but some truths have to be spoken.
When it comes to mid-80s Canadian top-40 hits...
Summer of '69 > Sunglasses at Night
When it comes to mid-80s Canadian top-40 hits...
Summer of '69 > Sunglasses at Night
Oh for the love of fucking Christ, Adobe, I just want to search for something in a pdf document. I don't want to use your fucking AI Assistant. Stop trying to make it happen and go fuck yourself.
March 7, 2025 at 7:17 PM
Oh for the love of fucking Christ, Adobe, I just want to search for something in a pdf document. I don't want to use your fucking AI Assistant. Stop trying to make it happen and go fuck yourself.
People who weren't around in the 90s will never be able to truly appreciate the Seinfeld scene where he gets interrogated about Melrose Place.
But if you were there, you know that it was perfect.
But if you were there, you know that it was perfect.
March 7, 2025 at 1:28 AM
People who weren't around in the 90s will never be able to truly appreciate the Seinfeld scene where he gets interrogated about Melrose Place.
But if you were there, you know that it was perfect.
But if you were there, you know that it was perfect.
How old am I? Yesterday, I looked at my hydro bill and got angry about how much I'm paying for hot water because my kids spend all goddamn day in the shower.
I'm about a year away from yelling "I'm not paying to heat the damn neighbourhood."
I'm about a year away from yelling "I'm not paying to heat the damn neighbourhood."
March 4, 2025 at 1:10 PM
How old am I? Yesterday, I looked at my hydro bill and got angry about how much I'm paying for hot water because my kids spend all goddamn day in the shower.
I'm about a year away from yelling "I'm not paying to heat the damn neighbourhood."
I'm about a year away from yelling "I'm not paying to heat the damn neighbourhood."
This is not going to go over well with some people, not least my wife. But I have long since stopped caring about pissing off those who insist on being wrong.
When it comes to salad dressing,
Italian > Ranch
When it comes to salad dressing,
Italian > Ranch
March 4, 2025 at 2:14 AM
This is not going to go over well with some people, not least my wife. But I have long since stopped caring about pissing off those who insist on being wrong.
When it comes to salad dressing,
Italian > Ranch
When it comes to salad dressing,
Italian > Ranch