I don’t judge erika kirk for saying she forgives her husband‘s killer. Forgiveness is the way to peace, and I hope she finds it.

But I do worry this is declaration of forgiveness is being pushed. I hope it’s the start of a journey, and not really a premature end to one.

It also glosses over the very real and challenging work of reconciliation. Forgiveness is bidirectional, requires relationship- building, and can hurt like nobody’s business.

I fear when we trivialize it, we harm people by pressuring them to deny their grief.

It becomes an active grace to say, “God, forgive the som of a bitch.”

I think we do Christ teachings a disservice when we pretend forgiveness is easy, and we act as though “letting it go” is what he desires of us. That’s a soft shoe type of forgiveness, one that fails to recognize trauma and loss.