It seems that yesterday did actually happen. Unfortunately.
July 1, 2025 at 2:43 PM
It seems that yesterday did actually happen. Unfortunately.
Shoutout the Algorithm for being an even dumber bitch than me.
July 1, 2025 at 1:47 AM
Shoutout the Algorithm for being an even dumber bitch than me.
Me and Who
June 29, 2025 at 3:42 AM
Me and Who
I wish my Google Nest Mini speaker would give me the M3GAN treatment by which I of course mean be my friend and protect me at all costs.
June 28, 2025 at 11:57 PM
I wish my Google Nest Mini speaker would give me the M3GAN treatment by which I of course mean be my friend and protect me at all costs.
Lord, forgive me, I thought about my enemies too long and now I need to go for a walk again.
June 28, 2025 at 6:00 PM
Lord, forgive me, I thought about my enemies too long and now I need to go for a walk again.
Reposted by Many Saltines
Es waren die schlimmsten Zeiten, es waren die noch schlimmeren Zeiten.
June 27, 2025 at 11:21 PM
Es waren die schlimmsten Zeiten, es waren die noch schlimmeren Zeiten.
My boss vomit-reacted to the most recent message I sent them is that good.
June 27, 2025 at 10:14 PM
My boss vomit-reacted to the most recent message I sent them is that good.
Vibe Accountant for the Vibe Law Firm.
June 27, 2025 at 6:10 PM
Vibe Accountant for the Vibe Law Firm.
Me ignoring 7,000 individual problems 🥳
Me as one of the problems being ignored 🤬
Me as one of the problems being ignored 🤬
June 27, 2025 at 5:48 PM
Me ignoring 7,000 individual problems 🥳
Me as one of the problems being ignored 🤬
Me as one of the problems being ignored 🤬
🥵
June 26, 2025 at 7:30 PM
🥵
I survey the hotdogs on the 7/11 hotdog roller. "WWJD," I pronounce. Which wiener is juicy and delicious.
June 26, 2025 at 4:55 PM
I survey the hotdogs on the 7/11 hotdog roller. "WWJD," I pronounce. Which wiener is juicy and delicious.
Reposted by Many Saltines
I'm picking up bad vibrations I'm giving me palpitations.
June 26, 2025 at 1:46 AM
I'm picking up bad vibrations I'm giving me palpitations.
Everyone asks Saltine why do you store the Windex and Stain Remover next to each other. The answer - which will not surprise you - is I'm stupid.
June 25, 2025 at 6:33 PM
Everyone asks Saltine why do you store the Windex and Stain Remover next to each other. The answer - which will not surprise you - is I'm stupid.
Reposted by Many Saltines
Nobody calls it a choo choo train anymore.
June 10, 2025 at 6:35 PM
Nobody calls it a choo choo train anymore.
I will also obtain a Nobel Peace Prize for saying Fuck.
June 24, 2025 at 4:26 PM
I will also obtain a Nobel Peace Prize for saying Fuck.
A Friendly Plane Wave.
June 24, 2025 at 3:04 PM
A Friendly Plane Wave.
Imagine the cuts you would get on the sides of your mouth from eating a sandwich on this. Exquisite.
June 23, 2025 at 9:49 PM
Imagine the cuts you would get on the sides of your mouth from eating a sandwich on this. Exquisite.
Fool me once
I will publicly rebuke your claim that you are 5'8".
I will publicly rebuke your claim that you are 5'8".
June 23, 2025 at 9:37 PM
Fool me once
I will publicly rebuke your claim that you are 5'8".
I will publicly rebuke your claim that you are 5'8".
Nobody cared that Saltines was too sick to write a post for eight days or more. I mean fair.
June 23, 2025 at 3:23 AM
Nobody cared that Saltines was too sick to write a post for eight days or more. I mean fair.
The daily saltine report concerns spicy dill pickle goldfish today. Bad. Both the snack and this report.
June 14, 2025 at 10:06 PM
The daily saltine report concerns spicy dill pickle goldfish today. Bad. Both the snack and this report.